Let's laugh at the OT
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11-08-2017, 02:20 PM (This post was last modified: 11-08-2017 03:04 PM by Cosmo.)
Let's laugh at the OT










Sorry, I posted it in some thread about bushes and Moses and stuff. Then I figured that thread was about a really good acid trip or something. So i pulled it from there, and moved it here. Didn't really get what was going on in that thread, but, it reminded me of this, though.

This thread is about how ridiculous the Genesis account of Abraham is, when put into perspective.

Definitely a parody. My theist friends, don't be offended. My atheist friends, enjoy.

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
-Neil Degrasse Tyson
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11-08-2017, 02:55 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
There's a lot of ridiculous stuff in the OT. If taken with a grain of salt (or a pillar of salt, as the case may be) the Bible can be Comedy Central.

My favorite thing in the bible is the passage where the bald Elisha, on the way to Bethel, is teased by a bunch of kids and god sends down some female bears to kill them all and shread them to pieces.

2 Kings 2:23-24

Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, "Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!" When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number.…

Moral of the story?.......Wear a hat!

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Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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11-08-2017, 03:02 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
Quote:There's a lot of ridiculous stuff in the OT. If taken with a grain of salt (or a pillar of salt, as the case may be) the Bible can be Comedy Central.

My favorite thing in the bible is the passage where the bald Elisha, on the way to Bethel, is teased by a bunch of kids and god sends down some female bears to kill them all and shread them to pieces.

And he loves you.

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
-Neil Degrasse Tyson
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11-08-2017, 03:13 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
(11-08-2017 03:02 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  
Quote:There's a lot of ridiculous stuff in the OT. If taken with a grain of salt (or a pillar of salt, as the case may be) the Bible can be Comedy Central.

My favorite thing in the bible is the passage where the bald Elisha, on the way to Bethel, is teased by a bunch of kids and god sends down some female bears to kill them all and shread them to pieces.

And he loves you.

But why female bears? Why not male ones?

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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11-08-2017, 03:16 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
(11-08-2017 03:13 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(11-08-2017 03:02 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  And he loves you.

But why female bears? Why not male ones?
I donno. Huh Maybe because female bears will attack anyone near their cubs. Maybe they were female mama bears. When god kills bad people he wants them to be super dead and a bear ripping kids to pieces really gets the job done.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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11-08-2017, 03:30 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
My favorite one is over in the "Jesuss" thread, but there are plenty more where that came from. Most of the really good ones seem to be in Genesis and Exodus.

I like the one where the Sodomites are pressing Lot to let them "know" his male guests (who happen to be angels, and quite capable of taking care of themselves). Lot's solution -- no, take my daughters instead! After Lot's family escapes the destruction of Sodom (except for his poor wife), they're living in a cave up in the mountains, and his daughters decide to get him drunk and seduce him so they can get pregnant. So much for sexual morality!
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11-08-2017, 04:01 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
OT writers, " Or fans wont admit we had no fucking clue that the sun and moon were the same source of light."

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11-08-2017, 04:18 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
(11-08-2017 02:55 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  My favorite thing in the bible is the passage where the bald Elisha, on the way to Bethel, is teased by a bunch of kids and god sends down some female bears to kill them all and shread them to pieces.

2 Kings 2:23-24

Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up by the way, young lads came out from the city and mocked him and said to him, "Go up, you baldhead; go up, you baldhead!" When he looked behind him and saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. Then two female bears came out of the woods and tore up forty-two lads of their number.…

Moral of the story?.......Wear a hat!

This feels spammy but it's kinda on topic so...if anyone has ten minutes to kill and wants bear-related humor:



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11-08-2017, 04:28 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
If it was irrelevant, or if you continued to send it indiscriminately/repeatedly, that might apply. As it stands, What you sent is just good clean fun. Let's make some people laugh tonight. Smile

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
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11-08-2017, 06:46 PM
RE: Let's laugh at the OT
(11-08-2017 03:30 PM)Grasshopper Wrote:  My favorite one is over in the "Jesuss" thread, but there are plenty more where that came from. Most of the really good ones seem to be in Genesis and Exodus.

I like the one where the Sodomites are pressing Lot to let them "know" his male guests (who happen to be angels, and quite capable of taking care of themselves). Lot's solution -- no, take my daughters instead! After Lot's family escapes the destruction of Sodom (except for his poor wife), they're living in a cave up in the mountains, and his daughters decide to get him drunk and seduce him so they can get pregnant. So much for sexual morality!

Ahh yes, good old fashioned incest.

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Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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