Letter from a church
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08-07-2016, 11:25 PM
Letter from a church
A letter arrived today from a local church addressed to my 8 YO son. My wife opened it and put it into her purse. I asked her what it was and she said it was something about the VBS my son attended a month or so ago. So tonight it was really bugging me so I went into her purse and read it. It read the following:

Quote:Dear Justin,
I am so excited to hear that you prayed to accept Jesus as your savior. He is smiling down on you!! (Went on with more shit)

GaspGaspGaspGaspGasp

WTF?? This isn't even the church my wife attends. My son and I were talking the other day when I was tucking them into bed after he brought something up that he said was weird and he didn't believe. I have told him in the past to listen and make up his own mind and he has told me that he doesn't really buy it in the past. Last year when I was in China he told his uber religious cousin the he didn't believe in god all on his own.

This definitely pisses me off to no end. I really don't care what he believes but I know for a fact that he is still in the investigation phase of his life and is nowhere near this. Shoot, he has told me of some of the things he thought were silly from Sunday School. Here comes the really hard part: how do I address this with my wife??? We have a wedding tomorrow and I know this conversation is going to ruin her evening but it is really, really bugging me what they had him do and I really want to talk to her about it. I know that the salvation prayer is no more meaningful than casting the Patronus Charm but I have no idea what they were doing there.

Fuck religion. I hate what it does to people.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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08-07-2016, 11:35 PM
RE: Letter from a church
Hug

All the best with your issues.
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08-07-2016, 11:38 PM
RE: Letter from a church
She's gonna be pissed that you went into her purse Wink That said, I think you did the right thing since it's concerning potential religious brainwashing and your impressionable son. I personally would not bring any of this up until after the wedding. I think it would be better to do it during a time when you two can really talk things out. Plus, it might give you a chance to calm down and formulate your thoughts. I'm sorry you have to deal with religious BS. It really sucks, I know.
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09-07-2016, 12:06 AM
RE: Letter from a church
Do you have a friend who is a lawyer? Have him send them a letter for you telling them to keep their grubby, jesus-shitty, hands off your kid.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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09-07-2016, 12:41 AM
RE: Letter from a church
(08-07-2016 11:25 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  I asked her what it was and she said it was something about the VBS my son attended a month or so ago. [...]
If I may ask, were you aware that your son was attending a VBS, and/or did you let your wife know you weren't happy with this at the time? Did your son express any interest himself in attending the VBS, or did your wife make the decision solely in her own right?

I think—to some degree—these points affect your response to this silly letter.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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09-07-2016, 12:48 AM
RE: Letter from a church
(08-07-2016 11:25 PM)The Organic Chemist Wrote:  ...
I hate what it does to people.

Right now, you don't actually know what it's done. But you need to find out.

At first read (of your OP) it may appear to have divided a family but not so fast...

It's quite possible that your wife read the letter and thought, "Oh shit! TOC is going to go ape-shit when he reads this and that's going to make for a lousy weekend." And now she is suffering an inner turmoil about when is the right time to mention it.

She'll know that the longer she leaves you in the dark the more it will seem like she is keeping secrets from you.

I suggest that after the wedding you ask her something like, "So, what was that VBS thing about?" This might be just the opportunity she is hoping for to discuss the subject.

If you get ... "Oh, nothing." ... then you know there is a problem but again it may not be about deception, it might be about not wanting you to be upset.

You might want to be more direct and ask "Can I have a look at the VBS letter? I'd like to see how Justin is doing." Again, the response to that will reveal something.

If she's protecting you, that's love.

If she is protecting the church then ... well, the next move is high risk but I would go straight to point, as softly spoken as I could muster:

"Do you see me as the enemy?"

btw, I'm guessing that VBS = Vacation Bible School not Visual Basic Script?

Wink

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09-07-2016, 02:34 PM
RE: Letter from a church
It's always best to address things calmly and rationally. It's not always easy, of course. Waiting for an appropriate time to bring it up is probably the best idea. Good luck, and I hope you get some answers.
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09-07-2016, 07:27 PM
RE: Letter from a church
Your wife was dishonest in keeping that letter from you. Dodgy

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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09-07-2016, 07:36 PM
RE: Letter from a church
I am not happy that the church took it upon themselves to write to an eight year old.

At that age I would think it was more acceptable to send a message through a parent and not directly to a kid.

Now if the child was, say 14 - a child not of tender years, then I wouldn't be so bothered by it.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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09-07-2016, 07:47 PM
RE: Letter from a church
Sure she may be pissed at you for going in her purse, but she was intentionally being deceptive. You have a right to know what is going on with your son.

In a few years he will be old enough to attend Chrysalis - it's the adolescent version of the Walk to Emmaus. It uses brainwashing techniques similar to other cults. VBS has nothing on this shit. They'll pass it off as a church camp weekend.

Just a heads up.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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