Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
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12-04-2012, 09:02 PM
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
I didn't realize I was getting upset.
Now that that's all cleared up I'll let you get back tithe pity party.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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12-04-2012, 09:16 PM
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
(12-04-2012 09:02 PM)lucradis Wrote:  I didn't realize I was getting upset.
Now that that's all cleared up I'll let you get back tithe pity party.

It's not a pity party at all... I'm actually getting advice.
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12-04-2012, 10:04 PM
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
I recommend having a few goals (sounds like you do) and work day by day to get to them. One day at a time. Obviously problems of large quantity aren't solved overnight, but they can be helped in the right direction. You could work at saving money, training, practicing your skills in writing or look at grants, funding, etc for school. Make it your passion so there is no room in your mind to stress about what mom is making you do when she thinks you have spare time. You are your own person, you own your mind.

If you feel it's overwhelming find help that you trust. TTA is a good one. I am sure there are health professionals or help lines in your area you could call.

I have a friend with CD, I can see how hard it is first hand. There are ups and downs like anything else in life. We all experience this painful suffering in various ways and various degrees. I can tell you my friend has many good days too, she is in her 30's and has an independent life that she leads, you very well could one day too. You are 18, you have years ahead of you.
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13-04-2012, 12:16 AM
 
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
(12-04-2012 07:06 PM)Blood Wrote:  You must get out of the house and start your own life. You are in control of your destiny, not your parents, not God, nobody.

Sorry, but when it comes to “destiny,” atheists have nothing to say. Because if atheism is true, there is no destiny—just the fight for survival. Destiny, is the province of God. If our friend wants a destiny, he’s going to have to throw his atheism in the rubbish bin. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a banana to eat.

…that was good. Those evolutionists might have a point.

(12-04-2012 07:49 PM)Zangash Wrote:  Got any tips on what to do about my loos stools? I've had the runs every day since my last surgery and they're kind of embarrassing.

Of course, if Dom is going to act like your private physician, then I guess you have a right to ask that question. But in reality, Dom can’t help you. I think that might have been what you were getting at. I can’t help but hope so because sarcastic wit is the hallmark of a good writer.

Quote:Honestly, I think my story is my best bet, though. Would you like to read it and tell me what you think? I really love feedback, and it'd help me win that contest.

I’m offering this to you, and you don’t have to accept, but I had another successful blog where I reviewed novels and memoirs. I’m also a small time publisher, and I’ve written a novel that of the few who have actually read it, I’m told, it’s pretty good. I had a dream last night that one of the book stores I sold to wanted more copies—that was a nice dream. Weeping But I digress.

If you want, I will read your entire story and give you a critical analysis and an edit. But in exchange, you can’t blaspheme God to me or your mom, and you have to become my friend on Facebook and follow me on twitter. I’ll have to trust you about the mom thing, but in here you can be a staunch atheist if you like, but you have to be old-school about it. None of this neo-atheist, Richard Dawkins nonsense. You have to be like Nietzsche or Bertrand Russell. I’m not sure how to enforce that contract, but it’s a gentleman’s agreement. For that, I will give you a professional opinion. Granted, it’s currently an unsuccessful professional opinion, but Black Spirit Publishing is a legit company—and I’m the publisher.

Your move, Chief.

(12-04-2012 07:50 PM)lucradis Wrote:  Guess what? Life sucks.
Guess what else? Life can surely suck even worse sometimes.

But the best of all is that no matter how much it sucks sometimes it can still be amazing and wonderful.

If you sit there and focus only on the negative aspects of your life that is all you will see and all you will feel.
Get some control over yourself.

You could always have been one of those starving kids in Africa with the worms that have to be pulled out of their skin, only to get recruited by one of those gangs that kill everyone for no particularly good reason.

Compared to them your life is fucking roses.

Perspective is important.

Uh…I think I’m off the hook. Damn, Lucridis, you must be over thirty.

(12-04-2012 07:57 PM)Zangash Wrote:  "Someone hit me with their car while running a red light while I was crossing the street. They didn't bother to stop, and I now can't walk, can barely move my arms, and talking hurts. But hey! In China and India they have to work in factories for ridiculous hours for practically no pay! A lot of them even DIE from the poor and dangerous working directions! I'm so glad I'm not like those poor bastards!"

That's all I heard there. Sorry. The "It could always be worse" mentality could fit for just about anything.

You’re a logical thinker, but you’re a competitive football player. I never realized that before. That means, you really don’t have any physical limitations; far from it. You actually have a greater physical capacity than most human beings. The algebra isn’t working here. Because I’m starting to think I would take Crone’s disease in order to be 18 and super fit. Maybe not. But I’m starting to think that way. Yes, there was pain, but now…?

I’m not saying you don’t have a hard life, but seriously, logically, how do you think other people’s lives go?

(12-04-2012 08:51 PM)lucradis Wrote:  Who said ignore.

Perspective is important. That's what I said.
You don't like that i take it?

Want me to tell you that I feel sorry for you or something? I don't.
If that's what you're looking for you won't get it from me. But just say so before hand and I won't even bother posting in the thread.

Why do I have this image of a bunch of atheists getting ready to nail me to a cross and then suddenly something distracts them, hammer midair--It’s Lucradis.

…excuse me while I just make my way to the exit, signal my heartfelt support to Lucradis at the lectern, and then duck out.

I feel just like Bill Murray:



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13-04-2012, 01:56 AM
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
(11-04-2012 09:44 PM)Zangash Wrote:  Hi, I'm (Brand) new to these forums, but I kinda of... need help. Or support. Or, well... anything at this point.

I'm 18 years old, and my parents (Specifically my mother) are hardcore Christians. I'm also an Atheist. The way I managed to turn away from religion so quickly is through my constant thought. I would think about anything, whether it be what just happened in an episode of Dragonball Z or what happened to the dinosaurs. One day I was actually thinking about God and how people could have such visions and actually SEE hell and God and all manner of other spiritual things. That day, the filter on the fridge needed to be replaced. I drank some of the water, and it was disgusting to me. I hated it. I told my dad about it, and he explained to me that, not only was the water still being filtered, as it is designed to alert us to it needing to be replaced well before it actually needs it, but that unfiltered water was what we got from the sink. A few minutes later, I drank water from the fridge again, and it tasted... completely normal. This got me to thinking. The power of the human mind- it is powerful. If you truly believe something, as I truly believed the water was nasty, that is how you will perceive it. That was when I was in the 4th grade. It wasn't until the 6th grade until I grew the balls to tell my parents, after they pretty much demanded I join a large prayer group to "Thank the Heavenly Father for healing me!" (I had just gotten out of a major surgery on my stomach- I have Crone's disease and needed an operation on my intestine).

"How dare you say such a thing!"
"How can you explain the world's existence?"
"What if you're wrong and there IS a God? Is it worth burning in hell forever?"
"You know how many billions of people believe in God? How can so many be wrong?"
"What if GOD caused the Big Bang to happen? Did you ever consider that?" (At that point I didn't even know what the Big Bang was)
"We can't let an Atheist live in our home, but we are required to let you stay until you graduate."

Needless to say, as an 11 year old, those were some pretty tough questions that I had no response to. My parents then proceeded to greatly increase their monitoring of my activities (I was JUST hitting that age where I didn't want them to, too) and forcing me to attend Church 3 times a week. At first it was just alright, whatever. They made me listen to Christian music. A friend gave me his old Ipod and I listened to real music on that. I would make up homework for myself to do on Wednesdays and Fridays (Sometimes Monday) just so I could get out of going to Church. This went on for a good... 4 years or so.

Then I had yet another Crone's attack. This one much more severe. It was the summer after my Freshman year of high school. Still an Atheist, but slowly starting to hate life. I had come to love the summer, as it gave me extended breaks from my parents and the life they wanted me to live. But that became difficult. Stomach cramps killed me. At many points I found it impossible just to walk or even stay on my feet. I went into the hospital, and they gave me TPN- an IV fluid that's constantly hooked up to you to give you nutrients. It only worked briefly. I found myself vomiting for hours, many times with blood, having constant cramps (I'm not talking the slight pain- I mean hundreds of sharp, stabbing pains all over the inside of my stomach as the acids inside it spin around like a whirlpool). It was also starting to hurt as I pee'd, and it would often come out darker colored, with shreds of black in it. I had to be rushed to the ICU at 2:37 in the morning one day. I asked my mom why God was doing this to me. She said it was the Devil. I asked why God didn't help me.

"He must be testing you. The Lord works in mysterious ways"

I didn't get to eat for a week while the doctor's tried to figure out what was wrong with me. One day, seemingly at random, a half dozen SURGEONS stormed into my room, asking my parents to sign papers so they could prep me for surgery. They were in a major hurry. My parents demanded they slow down and explain what happened. Apparently, I had a hole connecting my intestine to my bladder and was on the verge of death. The put me under immediately.

I'll put the next paragraph in spoiler tags (Hopefully I get them right) because, well, it might gross some people out.

When I woke up was quite easily the worst few moments of my life.
The first thing I noticed was I had a bag on my stomach, and a thick white line running down my stomach, starting right underneath my bellybutton. I also realized I had a tube running up my penis. Getting an erection caused it to squeeze the tube, which was beyond painful. I had it for so long that my body trained itself not to get an erection overnight. I still don't get them and this is almost 3 years later.

I was in the hospital like that from July 2009 to February 2010. When I finally got home it was a grand celebration. My family was overjoyed I was now healthy. They, once again, asked me to give thanks to God and join a prayer group- but now they wanted me to preach and share my story to our Church. I told them no. At this point, I had been lying to them, saying I believe in God just to hopefully get them off my back about it. At this point though, I wasn't going to have any of it. At 16 years old I told my parents, with several thousand more times authority, that I truly believed there was no God. Then I found myself going to church 3 times a week again, except now my mom made me study the bible (Ironically, as thoroughly as she made me study it, none of the parts that clearly paint God out to be his true immoral self ever came up). They were going to force me into a God loving man, whether I liked it or not.

2 years later, and I am still an Atheist. My mental health seems to be deteriorating, and from time to time I seriously consider suicide. I am back to lying to my parents about my belief, and while I am close to graduating (May 30th), I am in no way ready to set out of the house on my own.

A part of me... a large part of me... hates my parents. Not the usual dislike a teen has for their parents, either. Whenever someone tells me how much I'd miss my parents if they were gone, the only thing I could imagine missing is the support while I try to make my own way in the world, and by that I mean my lunch money. I can honestly say I wouldn't be at their funerals. I find myself not being keen to talking to others unless I know them, and I don't feel the need to attend prom or even graduation. I've got no experience with girls anyways, so there'd be no way in hell I could get a date.

My mom is saying our church will become a "Church of Healing", because God told our pastor that. She said that I should team up with him, because as someone who God has healed, I have the power to heal others. She doesn't know how far away from her and her religion I want to get- as soon as I can.

I realize how depressed I've become. This very post went from what was meant to be a two sentence post telling you guys my parents were pushing Christianity on me to my entire life story. I've never had anyone to talk to about this, so sorry if I gave too much information. I'm not even sure what kind of responses I'm expecting... I guess I just want something.
Hi.

I found a lot of similarities in your story from how I grew up. I was raised JW. Very strict but when it comes down to questioning my parents would ask the same thing.

I hope some of my outlook/responses will help you out.
"How dare you say such a thing!" - You are only being honest and open minded. Are you suppose to lie?


"How can you explain the world's existence?"
-It's OK if you can't. The problem arises when you try to fill in the answer to a question that can't be proven. The best thing we can do is come up with probability and logic. But it's always OK to say IDK. Thus far the big bang theory is the best we have.



"What if you're wrong and there IS a God? Is it worth burning in hell forever?"
This is also known as 'Pascals Wager.' First off establish which God we are talking about. Of course in your case you know it's the god of the bible. But you need to let them know your open mind. If you are wrong in many religions you will be reincarnated to a different species. Or maybe tortured forever as the Christians believe. I myself was raised that you simply are unconscious and die but righteous live forever on earth.

Anyway, you get my point.

Also, make the point that the fact that an unconditionally loving god would eternally torture you for not being as smart as your parents might seem to be another reason in your motive.



"You know how many billions of people believe in God? How can so many be wrong?"
This is when you throw Matthew 7:13 in their face.

Also make the point that you like to think for yourself.


"What if GOD caused the Big Bang to happen? Did you ever consider that?"

(At that point I didn't even know what the Big Bang was)- Maybe god did. but proof is required. Not 'What Ifs'. The big bang is a theory. Ask them if god is a theory. (If they are as hardcore as mine, then they will deal in absolutes).


"We can't let an Atheist live in our home, but we are required to let you stay until you graduate. -Well can't or required? pick one.

Which law is more important?

God's or mans?

If god doesn't want you with me, then what are you waiting for?

I asked my parents if they were under the mosaic law/old testament. The same god they worship now. And Moses asked them to participate in stoning me, would they do it? This will help in their decision.

Of course this one is the most emotional. So you may want to avoid this response if at all possible. As I have experienced. Even your parents won't be able to say that they would stone you.





Anyway, this whole problem of yours stinks to high heathen and is just another example of how the bible is wrong in saying 'followers of Jesus are the one persecuted.'

Forget Jesus. Stars died so you could live.-Lawrence Krauss

For god loved the world so much he tortured his only begotten son, gave him a 3 day nap only to wake up in ultimate awesomeness and called it a sacrifice.
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13-04-2012, 07:25 AM
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
Fixed up your first post so that it's easier to read, saw that you changed your next post already. I'll email you about your unaddressed issue =p

As far as story editing many members have put a part of a book they are writing in a thread for those interested. I would suggest not putting it all out n the open for everyone (someone might steal it =p)

Definitely look into more scholarships. While either of your options sounds good, they are both a bit far reaching. You'll need a more grounded possibility in the event that you're not noticed as much as you hope. Writing a short story is a good ay to get a scholarship in a lot of countries. They have liteary scholarships that end up with a book.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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13-04-2012, 07:27 AM
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
Yes Egor, I can help with that. I have been living with Ulcerative Colitis for 35 years. It is like Crohns in many ways, but a lot milder. After all these years, I think I have an understanding of the issue. Stop attacking what you don't understand. Yes he plays soccer. That does in no way mean he is physically stable. It means he is in remission, and if he has loose stools he is not in complete remission either. If you have Crohns, you have Crohns. There is no cure, only managing it. Now study up on it or quit talking about it.

Zangash, introduce a fiber supplemet VERY SLOWLY. When you reach some success, stick with that level. Ignore the instructions of how much you are supposed to take, find your own level and start with tiny amounts. If you have a flare up, discontinue right away, it can aggravate issues. But while you are in remission, it can improve your quality of life a lot. Psyllium husk is best, look at ingredients and that's what you want to see.

Other things to do are to avoid big meals and eat small amounts all day, try some cheese and chocolate (also introduce slowly and find the right spot for you, too much and you have the opposite issue and that is more dangerous). Eating fish and taking fish oil supplements can help stave off flare ups. Chew everything carefully.Since you are dealing with processing food, what you eat and how you eat it becomes very important and the medical community generally doesn't pay enough attention to it. They are also cautious about making recommendations here because too much of something can cause problems and people tend to think if a little is good, more is better. Not so. For you, the least possible amount that yields results is best.

You are growing out of the worst danger zone now, year after year flare ups will become less and less likely until much later in life. By then you should have learned how to manage yourself. There is no golden rule for everyone, you have to find your own balance.

Re. your atheism and life plan - no one here can feel the way you feel, we all just have our own experiences to draw from. I think your plans are good, and to have a back up I would look at universities I like and what types of stipends they have. I think you are doing fine.

Looks like you are perfectly able to sift through the advice given here.

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13-04-2012, 08:47 AM
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
Oh, and since everyone's experience with Crohn's is different, try this message board to get as many different inputs as you can:



http://www.crohnsforum.com/

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13-04-2012, 02:05 PM
 
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
Excuse me, Dom. I was wondering if you were going to sit still for the things Lucradis said. Consider
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13-04-2012, 03:41 PM
RE: Living in a heavily Christian household when you have no belief
(13-04-2012 02:05 PM)Egor Wrote:  Excuse me, Dom. I was wondering if you were going to sit still for the things Lucradis said. Consider


What's to sit still for?

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