Looking for Critics (to criticize me) Bonus! Free stuff inside!
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28-10-2013, 01:49 PM (This post was last modified: 29-10-2013 01:22 PM by Skeptic Gamer.)
Looking for Critics (to criticize me) Bonus! Free stuff inside!
So, I have long enjoyed writing (if you're wondering who the hell I am, yes, I am new here, so bear with me, I still have a trainee nametag), and have written or cobbled together a few short stories.

Currently I'm applying the bulk of my creative focus towards game development, but there's enough crap rattling around in here (points to brain) that I have to get some of it out. Two of my stories are actually up on Kindle and the Nook store titled Opinionhated and Blink and these are about 50 pages each. There is a third that is much shorter that is not up there called You're the Sheep that I couldn't bring myself to charge a full dollar for, and unfortunately, I cannot put it up for free.

If anyone here really enjoys reading and would like to take a gander and give me some feedback, that'd be just super. Then I can maybe get a good focus to improve my writing rather than just praying for it to happen because that doesn't seem to be working, probably because I'm not actually doing it.

These things are short and I can probably just stuff a PDF of them up here since it seems I can have attachments for my posts on this site.


Oh, what are these stories?


Opinionhated: Two geeks argue online about movies. (Intended to be a "comedy" as it were.)
Blink: An imagining of the end of the universe before the big bounce, as it were. (Science Fiction.)
You're the Sheep: Hmmmm... seems another story about people discussing movies, and politics? (Drama)

I'm not sure where else to get opinions on this, and any suggestion on that would also be welcome!

I'll uh, post some more so you can get an idea of who I am.

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28-10-2013, 02:06 PM (This post was last modified: 04-12-2013 03:50 PM by kingschosen.)
RE: Looking for Critics (to criticize me)
CONTENT REMOVED. WE DO NOT PERMIT MARKETING AND SELF PROMOTION FOR PROFIT.

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28-10-2013, 07:03 PM
RE: Looking for Critics (to criticize me)
Will give blink look see.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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29-10-2013, 11:08 AM
RE: Looking for Critics (to criticize me)
If I've done this correctly, then the stories are attached here. By all means, have at me. I can take it. I was in the army. It's where I learned an important lesson about being criticized called "cry where no one can see you."


Attached File(s)
.pdf  Blink (CoverFinal).pdf (Size: 395.62 KB / Downloads: 63)
.pdf  You\'re The Sheep (TextFinal).pdf (Size: 299.67 KB / Downloads: 91)
.pdf  Opionhated (TextFinal).pdf (Size: 366.69 KB / Downloads: 67)
.pdf  3;00 (TextFinal).pdf (Size: 78.96 KB / Downloads: 64)

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29-10-2013, 11:25 AM
RE: Looking for Critics (to criticize me)
Blink, is a little too aloof until page 13, gets interesting then.
Well done on getting it out there.

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29-10-2013, 12:48 PM
RE: Looking for Critics (to criticize me)
(29-10-2013 11:25 AM)sporehux Wrote:  Blink, is a little too aloof until page 13, gets interesting then.
Well done on getting it out there.

Given that aloof means, in effect, "cool and distant," (thanks Google!), part of this is intentional to reflect the sterile coldness of an empty universe.

I'm not sure how intentional it is, but depending on the genre I'm writing in, my style changes fairly drastically (at least from my perspective) and becomes reflective of the narrative itself.

I say that I'm not sure how intentional it is, because there times I don't necessarily notice that I'm writing a specific manner. My "comedic" piece--Opinionhated--(if I did comedy correctly) is written in a drastically different manner.

This is part of why I'm looking for any opinions as I continue to jot down the ideas I've just held onto for so long. Thanks for your time!

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31-10-2013, 02:27 PM
RE: Looking for Critics (to criticize me) Bonus! Free stuff inside!
A few downloads have occurred, but no one else is tearing me a new one?

I certainly hope this doesn't mean that I've set new standards for awful writing....

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