Looking for parental help
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21-05-2015, 08:40 AM
Looking for parental help
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Adam ( no biblical jokes! ) and I have recently become open about being secular. To be honest it wasn't very hard because most of the people who really know me already knew and the ones who didn't either excepted it or have tried to "bring me back to the light." I grew up catholic, not very strict catholic but catholic none the less. I left that a very long time ago and never really found what I identified with until I found Openly Secular. It was amazing to me to find a group that I could identify with on so many levels. That's how I found The Thinking Atheist and I haven't looked back since. Enough about me. I have a 5 year old daughter and my wife and I are on the same page (she would best be defined as agnostic) when it comes to raising our daughter as a free thinker. That begs the question of how to go about doing that. The pre school that she is currently in is christian in nature and has already fill her head with biblical stories. I tell myself not to worry since she is so young , she must not truly grasp them. I would like to get some insight from the secular community on this topic. How do I raise a free thinking child? Thank you all for your insight in advance.

Adam
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21-05-2015, 09:07 AM
RE: Looking for parental help
(21-05-2015 08:40 AM)Anon Wrote:  Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Adam ( no biblical jokes! ) and I have recently become open about being secular. To be honest it wasn't very hard because most of the people who really know me already knew and the ones who didn't either excepted it or have tried to "bring me back to the light." I grew up catholic, not very strict catholic but catholic none the less. I left that a very long time ago and never really found what I identified with until I found Openly Secular. It was amazing to me to find a group that I could identify with on so many levels. That's how I found The Thinking Atheist and I haven't looked back since. Enough about me. I have a 5 year old daughter and my wife and I are on the same page (she would best be defined as agnostic) when it comes to raising our daughter as a free thinker. That begs the question of how to go about doing that. The pre school that she is currently in is christian in nature and has already fill her head with biblical stories. I tell myself not to worry since she is so young , she must not truly grasp them. I would like to get some insight from the secular community on this topic. How do I raise a free thinking child? Thank you all for your insight in advance.

Adam

Why have you kept her in that school? Consider

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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21-05-2015, 09:34 AM
RE: Looking for parental help
(21-05-2015 09:07 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(21-05-2015 08:40 AM)Anon Wrote:  Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Adam ( no biblical jokes! ) and I have recently become open about being secular. To be honest it wasn't very hard because most of the people who really know me already knew and the ones who didn't either excepted it or have tried to "bring me back to the light." I grew up catholic, not very strict catholic but catholic none the less. I left that a very long time ago and never really found what I identified with until I found Openly Secular. It was amazing to me to find a group that I could identify with on so many levels. That's how I found The Thinking Atheist and I haven't looked back since. Enough about me. I have a 5 year old daughter and my wife and I are on the same page (she would best be defined as agnostic) when it comes to raising our daughter as a free thinker. That begs the question of how to go about doing that. The pre school that she is currently in is christian in nature and has already fill her head with biblical stories. I tell myself not to worry since she is so young , she must not truly grasp them. I would like to get some insight from the secular community on this topic. How do I raise a free thinking child? Thank you all for your insight in advance.

Adam

Why have you kept her in that school? Consider
Valid question. We are in the process of moving to Columbus Ohio. Where we live now is heavily religious and there is very little option for child care. They are very good with children and the only thing we are apposed to is the religious aspect to the school. she starts kindergarten in August and by that time we will be in Columbus so it seemed to be simply something that didn't matter or no really getting around do to options.
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21-05-2015, 09:52 AM (This post was last modified: 21-05-2015 09:57 AM by Cosmic Discourse.)
RE: Looking for parental help
Welcome aboard Adam, I didn't see your name on the ark manifest though

In all seriousness, you should look into the schools in the area you're moving to, and find the best fit for your daughters education. You may want to do a web search for area schools, to try and get a feel for other parents recommendations.

When your daughter becomes more curious about religious topics, and when you feel it's appropriate, a solid way to have open dialog is to approach it from a comparative religion standpoint.

Inform her of what others believe, and what you and your wife believe. In the examples I've seen, secular parents who don't talk with their kids about differing beliefs, leave the door open for misinformation from outside influences.

Continue to work as a team with your wife and you'll be fine.
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21-05-2015, 09:55 AM
RE: Looking for parental help
What I did with my daughter when she talked about the biblical stories she was taught in school was to talk to her about religion. Tell her about the many different religions (as much or little as I deemed she would understand) and about my own stand on those. I'm quite sure that most children would be following their parents in this regard too. Children seem to be very loyal to their parents sometimes too much even.
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21-05-2015, 09:57 AM
RE: Looking for parental help
(21-05-2015 09:34 AM)Anon Wrote:  
(21-05-2015 09:07 AM)Chas Wrote:  Why have you kept her in that school? Consider
Valid question. We are in the process of moving to Columbus Ohio. Where we live now is heavily religious and there is very little option for child care. They are very good with children and the only thing we are apposed to is the religious aspect to the school. she starts kindergarten in August and by that time we will be in Columbus so it seemed to be simply something that didn't matter or no really getting around do to options.
Columbus is a good area. There are several secular groups in and around the city. That and with all the large Universities in the area there is quite a large amount of free thinkers in the area. However, we still have our fair share of fundies.

What brings you to Columbus?
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21-05-2015, 10:18 AM
RE: Looking for parental help
youtube Dale McGowan, specifically the Free OK event. runs about 45 min. but he is easy to listen to talk.

a little bit of 'how to' but I like him mostly for the perspective he follows.

I feel that we need to teach children all that we know of religion and explain how we came to those conclusions. I was listening to the TTA podcast and someone mentioned they didnt raise their children with any knowledge of religion, let them decide on their own, but in hind sight they felt this also didnt give their child any tools on how to examine whether or not religious ideas could hold water. They never learned to question religion.

My girls are 9 & 11. Our conversations go something like : what do you think about it ? why do you think that way? some people believe this, some people believe that, other people think something else. Here is what I think and here is why I think that way. Should we google it?


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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21-05-2015, 10:25 AM
RE: Looking for parental help
(21-05-2015 09:57 AM)ohio_drg Wrote:  
(21-05-2015 09:34 AM)Anon Wrote:  Valid question. We are in the process of moving to Columbus Ohio. Where we live now is heavily religious and there is very little option for child care. They are very good with children and the only thing we are apposed to is the religious aspect to the school. she starts kindergarten in August and by that time we will be in Columbus so it seemed to be simply something that didn't matter or no really getting around do to options.
Columbus is a good area. There are several secular groups in and around the city. That and with all the large Universities in the area there is quite a large amount of free thinkers in the area. However, we still have our fair share of fundies.

What brings you to Columbus?

I am a veteran and am going back to college to finish my master's degree. I currently live in small town USA and let me tell you, small towns bread small minds. Im originally from Cincinnati and really miss the city life. Im looking forward to the move and really think it will help my daughter with diversity and how to critically think in the future.
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21-05-2015, 10:28 AM
RE: Looking for parental help
when my oldest was in a christian preschool they would have 'chapel chat' with the pastor of the church. I think it was Methodist. At 4 my daughter had all sorts of questions. Just innocent stuff, but hard hitting in the same. so they would mention some kids story about an angel or heaven and she would want to know if angels wear shoes, or is there a Chick Fil A resturant in heaven. Can she get a frosty in heaven? I would always tell her, I don't know, maybe you should ask in chapel chat.

after 3-4 months they finally approached me and asked that she refrain from asking so many questions. So we would save them up and pick one good one. That lasted one month and then the pastor stopped doing chapel chat. His schedule was apparently too busy for the little kids.


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21-05-2015, 10:44 AM
RE: Looking for parental help
(21-05-2015 10:28 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  when my oldest was in a christian preschool they would have 'chapel chat' with the pastor of the church. I think it was Methodist. At 4 my daughter had all sorts of questions. Just innocent stuff, but hard hitting in the same. so they would mention some kids story about an angel or heaven and she would want to know if angels wear shoes, or is there a Chick Fil A resturant in heaven. Can she get a frosty in heaven? I would always tell her, I don't know, maybe you should ask in chapel chat.

after 3-4 months they finally approached me and asked that she refrain from asking so many questions. So we would save them up and pick one good one. That lasted one month and then the pastor stopped doing chapel chat. His schedule was apparently too busy for the little kids.

Great stuff. My daughter came to me recently and said "Daddy Gods real right." That question caught me off guard and I struggled to answer it. I wanted to say no sweetie hes not but then I was telling her what to believe instead of how to think about things. I told her well to some people he or she is and to some no he isn't. people believe in different things. That answer was not satisfactory for her and she wanted more answers. Do you think I'm looking to much into it right now since she is only 5 and really doesn't comprehend yet?
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