Losing our son to religion
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23-07-2013, 02:42 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(23-07-2013 12:38 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(23-07-2013 12:29 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  Have a family movie night with religulous.

I'd be careful with this. When I was a Christian I would have perceived it as extremely mocking and insulting - because that was what I was programmed to do whenever someone tried to make me think...

This is exactly what happened when my husband deconverted, I suggested because it worked in our house, lol. But yea, I can see how it could backfire with a passionate evangelical.
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23-07-2013, 03:05 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(23-07-2013 02:42 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  This is exactly what happened when my husband deconverted, I suggested because it worked in our house, lol. But yea, I can see how it could backfire with a passionate evangelical.

Yeah. Teens also... going by my own experience... are kinda hyper sensitive to any perceived insult. I was already atheist by the time I watched it but when I recommended it to my religious friends they all shat on me big time. Sadcryface
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23-07-2013, 03:17 AM
Losing our son to religion
(23-07-2013 02:40 AM)Filox Wrote:  He smoked pot? Well, why didn't you say that before. Just give him a joint and a Big Book of Science... Problem solved.

Smile

Just kidding. But it could work. I smoke and now I'm about to go enroll in my second college. I got these crazy ideas that I can finish Electronics while I was all stoned, so now something nice and smart is happening because of my crazy ideas...

His problem with it was that he couldn't figure out moderation. All he could think about was getting high and when/where/how he was going to do it next. He couldn't manage school, but he didn't care. I know people who smoke/vape and can function just fine (sometimes even better), but he wasn't one of them. Once he got away from that, he excelled academically his sophomore year, but his junior year was when he started paying more attention to religion and less attention to education.

I understand how mj can benefit a lot of people in different ways; he and his former buddies just didn't fall into that category.
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23-07-2013, 03:40 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
Well,i dont have advice. I suck at giving advice.
But i hope everything gets alright. I think he will turn to reason after a while. You should tell him that you do not disprove his choice,but he shouldnt disprove yours. You sound like an awsome parent.I wish i had a parent like you...

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
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23-07-2013, 05:41 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
I don't like the influence of the youth leader at all. Your son is looking for an identity for himself, he can switch around faster than the wind. I would do two things:

1. buy myself a kickass book about the universe that is very heavy on photos and pictures, and leave it on the coffee table. The kind no one can resist to ooooh and ahhhh about. Like the National Geographic Picture Atlas of Our Universe by Roy A. Gallant, Margaret Sedeen and Michael Collins, or this one : Hubble's Universe: Greatest Discoveries and Latest Images by Terence Dickinson .

2. get the heck out of town so he can look for an identity in a different environment, he is too impressionable now. I doubt anything he picks up on now will last a lifetime, but it will last long enough to mess with your relationship with him.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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23-07-2013, 05:52 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(22-07-2013 09:32 PM)Ducky Wrote:  It is breaking my heart.

Tell him to come here and I'll set him straight. Don't you worry. Drinking Beverage

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23-07-2013, 07:43 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(23-07-2013 02:40 AM)Filox Wrote:  He smoked pot? Well, why didn't you say that before. Just give him a joint and a Big Book of Science... Problem solved.

Smile

Just kidding. But it could work. I smoke and now I'm about to go enroll in my second college. I got these crazy ideas that I can finish Electronics while I was all stoned, so now something nice and smart is happening because of my crazy ideas...

Haha, I like your comment. Yeah, give him a cookie or a joint and watch Planet Earth together or something of a sort. i used to do in a uni all the time. Turned out fine, have an awesome job and careerSmile I do think it might actually workSmile
But on a more serious note. I do hope he gets out of it. Keep us posted
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23-07-2013, 08:10 PM (This post was last modified: 24-07-2013 06:03 AM by Anjele.)
RE: Losing our son to religion
Teens often try on many personas till they find the one that works for them...I had a hard time keeping up with my girls in their teen years, especially the oldest one. I do know that pushing issues often doesn't help...teens glaze over and stop hearing you no matter how gently you say things.

You live an alternate lifestyle (especially in certain places) and sometimes that's hard for teens due to peer pressure. Maybe he was looking for a way to cope and a way to date a specific girl...maybe to prove how mainstream he is. Different can be really hard in high school.

Don't give up...

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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24-07-2013, 04:07 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
It sounds like you wanna be getting out of the bible area you live in? maybe that might actually help
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25-07-2013, 12:03 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
Your son's friends don't sound like real friends if they're pressuring him to submit to the evangelical lifestyle. I, myself, was once brainwashed by evangelicals when I was a teenager. All I wanted was a friend, so I abandoned my morals and prayed my classmates would accept me. Guess what? That never happened. I didn't make friends until my parents enrolled me in the public school. There, I became president of two clubs. Booyah.

One day his 'friends' are going to stab him in the back. Guarantee it. "I'll date you, but only if you come to my youth group" screams time bomb. Your son may have to learn the hard way like I did.

I wouldn't worry too much though. There's only so much you can do as a parent besides moving to another town or city. Just continue being a wonderful, loving parent, and your son will come around.

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