Losing our son to religion
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
26-07-2013, 05:36 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(22-07-2013 09:32 PM)Ducky Wrote:  Hello everyone. I posted this as a part of my introduction thread, but it seems like more people read this section of the forum, so I'm going to re-post a portion of it:

I am married to a woman who has a son from a previous marriage. Neither of us are religious, and we both considered ourselves to be agnostic (at the time). Her son was just entering his teen years when we go together, and he sort of held the same beliefs that we did: not religious, definitely not Christian, but he did believe in god. His reason then was because he didn't believe in evolution as it was taught to him by a teacher who did not believe in evolution. (a teacher!!!!!)

Sometime earlier this year, he got involved with a girl who was an evangelical Christian. She agreed to date him, but wanted him to go with her to her youth group. The youth group in question is Young Life, a cultish group of evangelicals that preys on high school kids, promising fun times and lots of love, but indoctrinates them into a lifestyle of condemning their family and friends who do not subscribe to the evangelical lifestyle.

We weren't concerned because he assured us that he was only going for social time and did not buy into what they were preaching.

Here we are now... he went to the Young Life summer camp and came back a "born again Christian." He constantly talks about his "relationship with god" and how great Jesus is, and that he thinks we will go to heaven despite being in a same-sex relationship and not believing in his god (no matter how many times we tell him that we don't believe in heaven or hell). He now viciously denies evolution, despite continuously mounting evidence, and dismisses the big bang theory because it "doesn't make sense." I've asked him why he believes in the bible, and he says "because it makes sense." Really? God made man from dust, then made woman from man's rib, then impregnated a 14 year old girl so she could give birth to him, so he could sacrifice himself to appease himself, and THAT makes more sense than evolution, which is STILL observable?

I can't talk to him about it any more without the risk of pushing him away, which is exactly what these Young Life freaks want. They seem to get their rocks off by taking kids away from their families (there are even support groups for parents who have "lost" their kids to this group).

Oh, and I guess I should add the bit about this girl breaking up with him as soon as he was indoctrinated. Missionary dating, anyone?

Sorry about all of that rambling . . . seeing our son getting sucked into this nonsense has made me realize that I really am an atheist (not agnostic as I previously believed). The blind belief in a god without evidence or reason beyond "I don't know, therefore god" is ludicrous. He is so smart, so I can't understand how he's buying into it. They even have him convinced that he should "stop learning," because education only turns people away from god.

He used to be so proud of us. He would wear rainbow rubber bracelets and had a pride ribbon on his backpack so he could tell people how much he loved his moms. We never asked him to wear any of it, he did it on his own because he was proud to be our son. He was proud of his family. Now he is ashamed. He doesn't talk about his family to anyone anymore, and his rainbow accessories have been replaced with crosses (one around his neck and one on his wrist).

It is breaking my heart.

Does he seem happier now that he is a Christian?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-07-2013, 06:21 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(26-07-2013 05:36 AM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  
(22-07-2013 09:32 PM)Ducky Wrote:  Hello everyone. I posted this as a part of my introduction thread, but it seems like more people read this section of the forum, so I'm going to re-post a portion of it:

I am married to a woman who has a son from a previous marriage. Neither of us are religious, and we both considered ourselves to be agnostic (at the time). Her son was just entering his teen years when we go together, and he sort of held the same beliefs that we did: not religious, definitely not Christian, but he did believe in god. His reason then was because he didn't believe in evolution as it was taught to him by a teacher who did not believe in evolution. (a teacher!!!!!)

Sometime earlier this year, he got involved with a girl who was an evangelical Christian. She agreed to date him, but wanted him to go with her to her youth group. The youth group in question is Young Life, a cultish group of evangelicals that preys on high school kids, promising fun times and lots of love, but indoctrinates them into a lifestyle of condemning their family and friends who do not subscribe to the evangelical lifestyle.

We weren't concerned because he assured us that he was only going for social time and did not buy into what they were preaching.

Here we are now... he went to the Young Life summer camp and came back a "born again Christian." He constantly talks about his "relationship with god" and how great Jesus is, and that he thinks we will go to heaven despite being in a same-sex relationship and not believing in his god (no matter how many times we tell him that we don't believe in heaven or hell). He now viciously denies evolution, despite continuously mounting evidence, and dismisses the big bang theory because it "doesn't make sense." I've asked him why he believes in the bible, and he says "because it makes sense." Really? God made man from dust, then made woman from man's rib, then impregnated a 14 year old girl so she could give birth to him, so he could sacrifice himself to appease himself, and THAT makes more sense than evolution, which is STILL observable?

I can't talk to him about it any more without the risk of pushing him away, which is exactly what these Young Life freaks want. They seem to get their rocks off by taking kids away from their families (there are even support groups for parents who have "lost" their kids to this group).

Oh, and I guess I should add the bit about this girl breaking up with him as soon as he was indoctrinated. Missionary dating, anyone?

Sorry about all of that rambling . . . seeing our son getting sucked into this nonsense has made me realize that I really am an atheist (not agnostic as I previously believed). The blind belief in a god without evidence or reason beyond "I don't know, therefore god" is ludicrous. He is so smart, so I can't understand how he's buying into it. They even have him convinced that he should "stop learning," because education only turns people away from god.

He used to be so proud of us. He would wear rainbow rubber bracelets and had a pride ribbon on his backpack so he could tell people how much he loved his moms. We never asked him to wear any of it, he did it on his own because he was proud to be our son. He was proud of his family. Now he is ashamed. He doesn't talk about his family to anyone anymore, and his rainbow accessories have been replaced with crosses (one around his neck and one on his wrist).

It is breaking my heart.

Does he seem happier now that he is a Christian?

I think you missed the point of the Christian agenda.Dodgy

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-07-2013, 07:51 AM
RE: Losing our son to religion
I know what Young Life can be like; my uncle is on their Board of Directors.

I agree with the others.... don't push it, just continue to love him. (then maybe you can use 1 John 4:7-8 to convince him)
He will no doubt try to convert you; Young Life is like that.
Remind him that just like for everything else you need evidence, and give him examples of what good evidence is and is not.

“Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like multidaytim's post
26-07-2013, 02:35 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(26-07-2013 06:21 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(26-07-2013 05:36 AM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  Does he seem happier now that he is a Christian?

I think you missed the point of the Christian agenda.Dodgy

What about the kid's agenda? If he is happier as a Christian isn't that a good thing for him?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-07-2013, 02:39 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
College is a good place to break down religious beliefs but it has to come from his peers, not his parents. All you can do is support his choice or lose him,
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-07-2013, 02:45 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(26-07-2013 02:35 PM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  What about the kid's agenda? If he is happier as a Christian isn't that a good thing for him?

If you were a parent you'd let some clown recruit your kid for his goddamn suspicious homophobic cult without a care in the world because it made him happy ?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-07-2013, 03:11 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(26-07-2013 02:45 PM)morondog Wrote:  
(26-07-2013 02:35 PM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  What about the kid's agenda? If he is happier as a Christian isn't that a good thing for him?

If you were a parent you'd let some clown recruit your kid for his goddamn suspicious homophobic cult without a care in the world because it made him happy ?

I don't know anything about this "cult" and I wouldn't trust anything I heard about it from this forum. I'd look into it myself.

I would however consider my child's happiness in any decision I make.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-07-2013, 03:13 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(26-07-2013 02:35 PM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  
(26-07-2013 06:21 AM)Chas Wrote:  I think you missed the point of the Christian agenda.Dodgy

What about the kid's agenda? If he is happier as a Christian isn't that a good thing for him?

I guess you missed this: "He was proud of his family. Now he is ashamed."

Yup, sounds real happy to me. Dodgy

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-07-2013, 03:13 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(26-07-2013 03:11 PM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  
(26-07-2013 02:45 PM)morondog Wrote:  If you were a parent you'd let some clown recruit your kid for his goddamn suspicious homophobic cult without a care in the world because it made him happy ?

I don't know anything about this "cult" and I wouldn't trust anything I heard about it from this forum. I'd look into it myself.

I would however consider my child's happiness in any decision I make.

Smack makes people happyDodgy

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
26-07-2013, 03:23 PM
RE: Losing our son to religion
(26-07-2013 03:11 PM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  I would however consider my child's happiness in any decision I make.

As would any other parent.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: