Lost my little brother
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22-10-2016, 06:13 PM
RE: Lost my little brother
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost a good friend to suicide a little over six months ago. Like you, I did not see it coming. I knew this person struggled with anxiety and depression, but he was exceptionally good at masking his pain through humor. I miss him every day.

I am so sorry about your brother. Hugs to you.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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22-10-2016, 06:44 PM
RE: Lost my little brother
Not my brother but my closest friend...same thing happened about five years ago.

You can't know. You wouldn't know. I suppose that's their gift to us, however much we would have wanted to know. They get their wish. We remain.

I'm sorry. So very sorry.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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22-10-2016, 07:18 PM
RE: Lost my little brother
I am so devastated for you and truly am sorry.

Hug

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Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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22-10-2016, 07:23 PM
RE: Lost my little brother
Be gentle with yourself.
Hug
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22-10-2016, 08:10 PM
RE: Lost my little brother
Like Skyking says, be gentle with yourself. During my time in the US Navy, I knew guys who tried and some who succeeded committing suicide. You can't hold yourself accountable in any way for his private decision. You get the sometimes miserable job of carrying on after. Hug It gets better. Be the cool uncle for his child!
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22-10-2016, 08:13 PM
RE: Lost my little brother
How awful. I can't imagine losing one of my brothers that way.
But while you can't help being hurt and angry, you can't know what was in his head at the end. His life could be honest all through but a fast downward spiral at the end could lead him there.
Be gentle with yourself and forgiving with your brother. We can't truly know another's heart.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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22-10-2016, 08:18 PM
RE: Lost my little brother
I have no words really. Wait for the autopsy. Something may have occurred in his brain.

You have my sorrow and sincere condolences.

If you want to talk, PM me and I will give you my Skype #.

Yours. Dale

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22-10-2016, 08:31 PM
RE: Lost my little brother
When a tragedy like this strikes we want to know the reason. The "Why?" of it. The more it hurts the more we want to know so not knowing just hurts worse. That's simply how we've evolved and there's little for it.

You may never know why but I can tell you right now that whatever the reason was it wasn't good enough. No reason is ever sufficient. None can be. Knowing why just leads to the anger behind "Because of that?!?"

I know why my brother killed himself. Paranoid schizophrenia and a girl. It's no comfort at all.

We want to try and make sense of this but it isn't something that had much to do with sense at all. Right now the best you can do is to tend to the living. Hold them tight and ease their suffering.

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Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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22-10-2016, 08:38 PM (This post was last modified: 22-10-2016 08:43 PM by jennybee.)
RE: Lost my little brother
Suicide is very difficult to understand for all of us left behind. My friend died 6 months ago and I still have yet to make sense of it. I just think things become very dark for the person who feels that that is their only option. I think they see no way out and these types of thoughts overtake them. But suicide is not them, it's not who they are or the life that they led. I try and remember my friend separate and apart from the way he chose to end his life. I try and remember the laughs we had, his smile, the warm, caring nature he had to all he came in contact with, and of course, his silly hat collection.

I can tell you loved your brother from the way you described the relationship the two of you had in your post, and I am sure he loved you very much too. Hang on to those memories and don't let what happened erase all of those times you shared. Despite what happened, he is still the same person you remember.

Anyway, I hope some of this helps in some way. You can always pm me if you need someone to talk to.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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22-10-2016, 09:16 PM
Lost my little brother
I really feel bad for you. What an awful thing to be burdened with.

I don't understand why there weren't any indicators of why he did it. Don't most people leave a note or give clues beforehand? Hopefully you will find some answers and one day peace.
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