Love and atheism
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22-03-2016, 06:32 AM
Love and atheism
(22-03-2016 05:47 AM)DerFish Wrote:  
(21-03-2016 05:13 AM)hitrosh Wrote:  Look

I am the case

I am in your team , I laughed before when ever someone mentioned love , I thought it was somthing hormonal and just fun

But now I want an answer

Why I know this is the only one ? Why I know I can't find anyone better , why I married this girl and I'm totally happy and I know I will be for ever , this is not hormonal , this is a decision I made and I thought about it , I scenes a real connection and I know definitely there is no other better connection for me out there !

I checked there is no report and case of a two way ( man and woman ) second 100% satisfying relationship after the first one . If both spouses honestly describe their relation as absolutely flawless , I repeat that "absolutely" and "flawless" , I mean no doubt at all , not even a tiny doubt ( and there is some relationships out there like this , trust me) there is no "second" "flawless" relationship for this couple ever again !

Show me if you have a case otherwise !

Now I want to know how we describe this with materialism.

I thunk I had found the one. We got married at 19 years old both of us. Then 19 years later she left me for some one bigger and better and richer. Just wait my man, you or her will one day decide that love was a great mistake!

I'm sorry to read this , that's just heartbreaking . But maybe you know somehow even at the beginning of the relationship that you forgiving and don't considering some of the things in your partner just because of the whole great picture , or at least your partner have some issues like this that she force herself to don't think about . I have no idea what was your situation but if you and your partner and your relationship was totally healthy and completely satisfying and not some dependence for both of you , It's hard for me to believe after 19 years this could happen . I guess this issues was there at the beginning but you , yourself or both of you just try to ignore them , that could happen . But it's just sad , I hope this never occurs to anyone
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22-03-2016, 06:42 AM
Love and atheism
(22-03-2016 05:51 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(22-03-2016 04:48 AM)hitrosh Wrote:  I'm 29 and I have been in this relationship for 5 years and we have been married for 2 years , before that I said to 3 girls that I love them but I'm now know the true meaning of love , I said "I love you" before many times and I really have feeling for them but I never told myself that those girl are the one and nobody else is better than what I have now for me , but in this relationship I think I finally know the meaning of "love" and I told myself that this girl is the only one and the only true match for me and in this 5 years I never regret this even a tiny bit !

What makes you think you're 100% right and that there's no chance you could be mistaken? Do you think you and a select few have a monopoly on true love? Why don't the thousands of examples of people who thought they had found true love but were mistaken mean nothing to you? Do you think you're somehow smarter than those people in knowing what is true love and what is not?

I think everybody can agree with me if they honestly look back at a failed relationship that they ignored some facts and issues that bothered them from the beginning. No , nobody is stupid I think , but ignorance , denial and closing eyes on some matters is very very common for just being not alone . Honestly when you look back at your failed relationships, or when you were in them , you can't see any ignored issues that you ignored or promises that "I will change" or "it won't last" "this is not important " but they actually burns inside ?
In conclusion I don't think anybody can get over a truly "flawless" "peaceful" "totally satisfying" relationship , if anybody can do that , they ignoring the reality and facts .
That's my opinion , and thank you for sharing your opinions with me
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22-03-2016, 06:47 AM
RE: Love and atheism
(22-03-2016 06:42 AM)hitrosh Wrote:  I think everybody can agree with me if they honestly look back at a failed relationship that they ignored some facts and issues that bothered them from the beginning. No , nobody is stupid I think , but ignorance , denial and closing eyes on some matters is very very common for just being not alone . Honestly when you look back at your failed relationships, or when you were in them , you can't see any ignored issues that you ignored or promises that "I will change" or "it won't last" "this is not important " but they actually burns inside ?
In conclusion I don't think anybody can get over a truly "flawless" "peaceful" "totally satisfying" relationship , if anybody can do that , they ignoring the reality and facts .
That's my opinion , and thank you for sharing your opinions with me

Of course I can see ignored issues in past relationships, and that is why I eventually broke up. How does that prove that what you have is the perfect relationship and that you will never fall out of love? Unresolved issues are not the only cause for breakups.

People grow up and change and sometimes their compatibility also changes. How can you ignore that?

And even if you have indeed found "the one", how does that prove that love is anything more than a chemical reaction in your brain?

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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22-03-2016, 08:48 AM
RE: Love and atheism
The thing with love is that it's a very delicate chemical reaction susceptible to interruptions from overwhelming stresses of life, such as long term unemployment, PTSD, terrible illnesses or unforeseen events. When the partner can't return love because of a lengthy preoccupation with uncontrollable circumstances often times love fizzles out. Or when one's expectation of how love will playout with the partner, when that completely changes then love can fizzle out. There are as many ways that love dies as there are ways that it arises.

My mother used to tell me..."when you fall in love don't listen to your heart, don't even listen to your head, listen to your gut. What does your gut feel like when you're with the person" I didn't know what the hell she was talking about until later when I fell in love with a total schmuck, then I realized that maybe she was onto something because I always felt like my stomach was slightly knotted up when I was with the person. It turns out the gut is full of sensitive nerves similar to the brain and maybe it's telling you the truth more so than the brain and maybe that's what your gut instinct is all about.

It's interesting though, that atheists divorce rates are lower than theists. I posted this information in a thread over in another section but I'll post it here too.

http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistfamil...ivorce.htm

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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22-03-2016, 05:54 PM
Love and atheism
(22-03-2016 06:47 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(22-03-2016 06:42 AM)hitrosh Wrote:  I think everybody can agree with me if they honestly look back at a failed relationship that they ignored some facts and issues that bothered them from the beginning. No , nobody is stupid I think , but ignorance , denial and closing eyes on some matters is very very common for just being not alone . Honestly when you look back at your failed relationships, or when you were in them , you can't see any ignored issues that you ignored or promises that "I will change" or "it won't last" "this is not important " but they actually burns inside ?
In conclusion I don't think anybody can get over a truly "flawless" "peaceful" "totally satisfying" relationship , if anybody can do that , they ignoring the reality and facts .
That's my opinion , and thank you for sharing your opinions with me

Of course I can see ignored issues in past relationships, and that is why I eventually broke up. How does that prove that what you have is the perfect relationship and that you will never fall out of love? Unresolved issues are not the only cause for breakups.

People grow up and change and sometimes their compatibility also changes. How can you ignore that?

And even if you have indeed found "the one", how does that prove that love is anything more than a chemical reaction in your brain?

In my relationship I have no ignored issues , I definitely don't have any issues with my wife that make our peace go away or made me worried or thinking , yes we fight like any other couples ( so many times in this 5 years ) but we don't get annoyed and even those fights were cute somehow , we don't have issues to "work on" , we don't have to "work on our relationship " , it's just simply goes forward without any extra force and thinking and getting energy , it "gives" us energy , it makes energy and nothing has changed in 5 years , no increase and no decrease of emotions from second date that I told myself that she is the one till now , nothing ! But I didn't have none of the above items in my previous relationships , I always forced myself to "work on my bad habits" because "we love each other and that's important " , I thought a lot , I always worried about how things should go and ...



No , I don't think people "changes" ! They just reveal themselves , our just give up ignorance and being someone else , they just in time get tired of hiding their real needs and features . Yes there is some changes , like the way they talk or their beliefs but those are not changes that we must worry about . No I absolutely don't think people change to be someone else , and surprisingly i think all of us can somehow deeply now the true self of people even if we can't prove it ! No there is no changes , there is just getting tired of hiding in the shadows of ignorance and lies . We don't grow up to be some one else that can't be loved like the first person , the second person was there at the beginning just behind the mask that first person puts on his/her face , but you and theirselves ignored that unfortunately. That's my opinion, no changes . ( If there is no physically/mentally illness . Illness is not what we talking about right now I think . although I think no illness can change the love I'm talking about in other partner )


I wrote in my previous comments , yes love definitely is a chemical reaction , we all are chemical reactions , but what make those reaction to start , why It doesn't starts with any random people ? I'm talking about my theory of some unknown love-energy field that brings pairs and couples together and starts that chemical cascades .
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22-03-2016, 05:59 PM
Love and atheism
(22-03-2016 08:48 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  The thing with love is that it's a very delicate chemical reaction susceptible to interruptions from overwhelming stresses of life, such as long term unemployment, PTSD, terrible illnesses or unforeseen events. When the partner can't return love because of a lengthy preoccupation with uncontrollable circumstances often times love fizzles out. Or when one's expectation of how love will playout with the partner, when that completely changes then love can fizzle out. There are as many ways that love dies as there are ways that it arises.

My mother used to tell me..."when you fall in love don't listen to your heart, don't even listen to your head, listen to your gut. What does your gut feel like when you're with the person" I didn't know what the hell she was talking about until later when I fell in love with a total schmuck, then I realized that maybe she was onto something because I always felt like my stomach was slightly knotted up when I was with the person. It turns out the gut is full of sensitive nerves similar to the brain and maybe it's telling you the truth more so than the brain and maybe that's what your gut instinct is all about.

It's interesting though, that atheists divorce rates are lower than theists. I posted this information in a thread over in another section but I'll post it here too.

http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistfamil...ivorce.htm

Thanks for your comment . Please read my above reply , It's your answer too
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23-03-2016, 03:31 AM
RE: Love and atheism
(22-03-2016 05:54 PM)hitrosh Wrote:  I wrote in my previous comments , yes love definitely is a chemical reaction , we all are chemical reactions , but what make those reaction to start , why It doesn't starts with any random people ? I'm talking about my theory of some unknown love-energy field that brings pairs and couples together and starts that chemical cascades .

Asking what makes that reaction start is like asking what makes a sneeze start or what makes vomiting start or what makes any automatic response to stimuli start.

Why it doesn't start with anyone you meet? Because your brain does not find them appealing, because their pheromones do not smell good to your brain, because your brain has a specific way of reacting to specific stimuli. No need for a special energy field.

Do you find all dogs cute? What is it about certain dogs that makes them adorable? Is there a special dog-adorableness energy field around?

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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23-03-2016, 08:11 AM
Love and atheism
(23-03-2016 03:31 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(22-03-2016 05:54 PM)hitrosh Wrote:  I wrote in my previous comments , yes love definitely is a chemical reaction , we all are chemical reactions , but what make those reaction to start , why It doesn't starts with any random people ? I'm talking about my theory of some unknown love-energy field that brings pairs and couples together and starts that chemical cascades .

Asking what makes that reaction start is like asking what makes a sneeze start or what makes vomiting start or what makes any automatic response to stimuli start.

Why it doesn't start with anyone you meet? Because your brain does not find them appealing, because their pheromones do not smell good to your brain, because your brain has a specific way of reacting to specific stimuli. No need for a special energy field.

Do you find all dogs cute? What is it about certain dogs that makes them adorable? Is there a special dog-adorableness energy field around?

Yeah I think there is a special stimulus , a very special one . I clearly remember the moment I told to my self that this girl in front of is the one and I thought I was crazy , I really couldn't believe that I said something like this to myself and from then nothing has changed . I'm talking that about that special stimuli that is just one because we are just one and our brains have a exact specific way to react to that specific stimuli . But you you think people have a "type" in the matter of love , but I think there is a true love , a specific one on one stimulus/receptor that can't be repeated. I respect your opinion, but I'm Still not convinced, I still have my own theories as a atheist in love
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23-03-2016, 09:03 AM
RE: Love and atheism
(23-03-2016 08:11 AM)hitrosh Wrote:  Yeah I think there is a special stimulus , a very special one . I clearly remember the moment I told to my self that this girl in front of is the one and I thought I was crazy , I really couldn't believe that I said something like this to myself and from then nothing has changed . I'm talking that about that special stimuli that is just one because we are just one and our brains have a exact specific way to react to that specific stimuli . But you you think people have a "type" in the matter of love , but I think there is a true love , a specific one on one stimulus/receptor that can't be repeated. I respect your opinion, but I'm Still not convinced, I still have my own theories as a atheist in love

That was not my opinion, that's what science says.

You have an opinion, and that's fine. However, there is zero evidence for your opinion, so don't expect it to mean anything to anyone else in here.

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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23-03-2016, 09:20 AM
Love and atheism
(23-03-2016 09:03 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(23-03-2016 08:11 AM)hitrosh Wrote:  Yeah I think there is a special stimulus , a very special one . I clearly remember the moment I told to my self that this girl in front of is the one and I thought I was crazy , I really couldn't believe that I said something like this to myself and from then nothing has changed . I'm talking that about that special stimuli that is just one because we are just one and our brains have a exact specific way to react to that specific stimuli . But you you think people have a "type" in the matter of love , but I think there is a true love , a specific one on one stimulus/receptor that can't be repeated. I respect your opinion, but I'm Still not convinced, I still have my own theories as a atheist in love

That was not my opinion, that's what science says.

You have an opinion, and that's fine. However, there is zero evidence for your opinion, so don't expect it to mean anything to anyone else in here.

Yeah I just want to see anybody here has this theory of mine or not , thanks .
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