Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
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05-10-2016, 07:29 AM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
No kidding. If you end up in several conversations where you just want to back out of the room, disengage in any way possible, maybe chew your leg off to get out of the trap, it is time to bail out.
One of my old school friends wanted to show me something in 2005. Turns out it was the truther movie "loose change". No
He pitched it like an Amway presentation Gasp
It was quite uncomfortable, I had to let him know as best I could that I thought it was so much bullcrap.
Some people are just hooked on whatever koolaid is getting passed around.
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05-10-2016, 07:30 AM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
You can't change his mind, there's not really much you can do.

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05-10-2016, 08:14 AM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
I think the real problem here is that you are intellectually incompatible.

If you could have a reasonable discussion, say about alternate universes, and you felt he was on the right track intellectually but not quite there yet emotionally, that would be something.

But it sounds to me like he's just not reasoning correctly.
And that's a big problem that I don't think is very fixable at his age.

If it wasn't spirituality, it would be chemtrails or antivax theories or some other such nonsense.

Sorry, but you can't fix stupid Sad

Your faith is not evidence, your opinion is not fact, and your bias is not wisdom
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05-10-2016, 08:17 AM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
(05-10-2016 07:30 AM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  You can't change his mind, there's not really much you can do.
Even with direct evidence and reason?
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05-10-2016, 09:31 AM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
(05-10-2016 08:17 AM)RitzyGrape Wrote:  
(05-10-2016 07:30 AM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  You can't change his mind, there's not really much you can do.
Even with direct evidence and reason?

Possible but not likely.
He would have to change his entire worldview.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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05-10-2016, 09:38 AM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
How important is this spirituality thing to him? Does he spend a lot of time thinking and/or talking about it?

If it's that important to him, then yeah, move on. If it doesn't come up often -- or if it's only you who is bringing it up -- then perhaps agreeing to disagree could work.
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05-10-2016, 10:30 AM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
If a friend of yours told you that this had happened to her, what would you advise her???
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05-10-2016, 11:06 AM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
It sounds as though (from what you've said) that you're intellectually incompatible.

As a couple of the other guys have suggested, I too think it's time to move on—as difficult as that may seem right now. If he absolutely won't consider any contradictory, logical, rationale about so much mystical, supernatural and paranormal stuff, then I'd say, in the longer term, your relationship is doomed.

And no; psychotherapy wouldn't help, nor would he submit to such a thing anyway.

He's also got the moral support, and the evidential claims made by millions of woo-meisters the world over. Crystal healing, séances, psychokinesis, astrology, auras, Tarot etc etc etc all form part of their ill-informed, misrepresented, nonsensical, fraudulent, pseudo-scientific world.

You might like to check out THIS site to get an idea of where he's coming from with all this absurd stuff he believes in.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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05-10-2016, 04:21 PM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
(05-10-2016 06:30 AM)RitzyGrape Wrote:  I wonder if psychotherapy would help.

This is a red flag. There are unwritten rules about not being involved with somebody if you feel that their wiring needs to be redone. I'm sorry, I know that you love him, but this shows pretty clearly that the two of you are incompatible at a very fundamental level.

Psychotherapy might help him if his delusions are a symptom an underlying problem. That said, it would be next to impossible to get him to even consider the notion.

Quote:Does that mean all religious people are delusional to an extent?

You know a better word for an adult with an imaginary friend? It's the extent that matters. I don't have an issue with most theists or spiritualists unless they start demanding that I play make-believe with them.

Quote:And who in the right mind would tell an atheist to open up their mind.

Somebody who thinks that the term means agreeing with them unquestioningly. Having an open mind involves letting ideas in, testing their merit and then kicking out the failures. If he's incapable of accepting evidence and expelling obviously flawed notions then it's pretty clear whose mind is locked and shuttered.

For example, if I were to post a link providing evidence that crystal energy is a meaningful and valid concept you will likely click that out of curiosity. Having looked it over, and gotten the joke, you now have a new idea frollicking in your prefrontal cortex. Now feed that same link to your BF and watch what happens.

(05-10-2016 08:17 AM)RitzyGrape Wrote:  
(05-10-2016 07:30 AM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  You can't change his mind, there's not really much you can do.
Even with direct evidence and reason?

Especially with evidence and reason. He's so emotionally invested in his pet notions that very little evidence gets in and no reasoning goes on.

I doubt that this is the advice that you were hoping for but it seems pretty clear that a relationship between the two of you is doomed to end badly. Ending things quickly and cleanly will be more merciful to all involved.

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Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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05-10-2016, 08:41 PM
RE: Lover is "spiritual" PLEASE HELP
Thanks for the support! I am glad i can find some understanding and sympathy among this group. I genuenely apreciate every single on of you. May the spagetti flying monster bless you.
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