Loving and accepting myself...
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
22-04-2015, 11:07 AM
RE: Loving and accepting myself...
Hi Jason,

I got caught up in the whole Catholic/christian religion thing too, so I know how that can become a part of your identity. I was a pretty hardcore christian for awhile there too--and we were taught to run everything we did by God first. When you are caught up in all of that--it really does feel like you have no identity of your own since you were always doing something for God instead of being true to yourself. After becoming an atheist, I had to start at square one and think what do I want to do in xyz situation instead of what does God want me to do. It takes some time to find out who you are as a person, what your likes are, etc. after being brainwashed for so many years. But you will get there.

Jenny
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes jennybee's post
22-04-2015, 11:12 AM
RE: Loving and accepting myself...
my biggest issue has been with the tabboo of pirn and masturbation....and niw thete are even some atheists who think and/or say that porn is unhealthy and addictive. But I disagree with that and so does Dr. Darrell Ray...
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-04-2015, 11:16 AM
RE: Loving and accepting myself...
Well, anything has the potential to be addictive. Of course, christians would view porn/masturbation as bad--but sexuality is a healthy thing. If it's not causing a problem in your life, then don't feel bad about it. I have read Darrel Ray and I agree with him.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-04-2015, 11:19 AM
RE: Loving and accepting myself...
(22-04-2015 10:30 AM)jason197754 Wrote:  btw... I came from a dysfuctional and codependent upbringing/family...so I used church and religion as a coping mechanism and means of comfort. But I now see that its unhealthy and toxic and even damaging....my self-worth and self-esteem...
Hi Jason,

As somebody with less life experience than yourself, my perspective may seem silly. But I'll tell you what happened for me. Similarly I grew up in a dysfunctional family and didn't have a high value of self worth/self esteem growing up. It wasn't until I fell in love for the first time that I really grasped myself. I learned to love myself while I learned to love another. I learned more about being a person I wanted to be, somebody I was proud of. I learned about finding happiness in daily life and in small activities. I learned to respect myself and my own boundaries. I learned about appreciating what I do have, and working towards things that I might want or need. I learned that being happy made it so much easier to make those I care about happy. After I lost the person who made me realize this, I was devastated, but overall I was grateful because I really do appreciate the person I am, and going forward I just kept that appreciation going strong.

It's hard to explain, but hopefully that was at least kinda sorta understandable.

Good luck!

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Adrianime's post
22-04-2015, 11:31 AM
RE: Loving and accepting myself...
All things in moderation is a motto to keep in mind. As Jenny said, anything can become an addiction. Even the good things (exercise, healthy eating, etc). Therapy can definitely help, with figuring out some of the structure you'd like to establish for yourself. Finding a good doctor who's attentive (both emotionally and clinically) will go a long way toward helping you resolve issues, and gaining back the confidence you deserve.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-04-2015, 12:08 PM
RE: Loving and accepting myself...
There is a veritable spectrum of sexual tastes for both men and women. Some men like heels, some men like breasts, some men like being tied, up some men like swinging, etc, (just keep using your imagination, but you get the picture). It is just the way we are wired. Some things turn us on and help us get off. After all, we are sexual beings and we have sexual urges. If it is not harmful to yourself or to others, don't beat yourself up over it.

A couple of the TTA podcasts touch on the idea of healthy sexual outlooks.
http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/podcas...yan-cragun
http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/podcas...exuality-1
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Iñigo's post
23-04-2015, 10:39 AM
RE: Loving and accepting myself...
Thank you everybody.... I have somewhat of a gameplan now. 1. journaling and meditation evey day and go back to therapy. 2. read, watch, and listen to more atheist material. 3. try abd eat healthier and go to.the gym/exercise and walk more. 4. watch more tv shows and movies, listen to more music, watch more porn too...and 5. go out more-meetup groups, bars abd clubs...
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like jason197754's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: