Major Identity Crisis Here
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20-07-2015, 03:07 PM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
(20-07-2015 02:25 PM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  ... that's practical information I should probably have.
Yes, medical history is generally important

(20-07-2015 02:25 PM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  This is more about the emotional impact than any physical or biological ramifications. I just feel like I'm entitled to the truth.
Sure. It's probably a delicate situation.
It's not going anywhere in a hurry. Let it sink in, let yourself go through denial, anger, acceptance, etc.
When you are well settled then take the path that you wish to take.
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20-07-2015, 03:10 PM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
(20-07-2015 03:07 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(20-07-2015 02:25 PM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  ... that's practical information I should probably have.
Yes, medical history is generally important

(20-07-2015 02:25 PM)Mr. Boston Wrote:  This is more about the emotional impact than any physical or biological ramifications. I just feel like I'm entitled to the truth.
Sure. It's probably a delicate situation.
It's not going anywhere in a hurry. Let it sink in, let yourself go through denial, anger, acceptance, etc.
When you are well settled then take the path that you wish to take.

Yes, what Stevil said. You'll be going through a process anyway - it is wiser to act after you have finished with it and your brain is clear again.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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20-07-2015, 03:20 PM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
I'm with you Mr. Boston, I would want to know. Good luck with this.

Check out my now-defunct atheism blog. It's just a blog, no ads, no revenue, no gods.
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Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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06-08-2015, 04:32 AM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
You have already been moulded into who you are( your identity) by the environmental, social and economic factors you were exposed to while growing up. If someone else was your biological father, it won't change your identity at this age.

For sake of your sanity I believe DNA testing is a must for you. Tell your family and kids the truth when you get the results and move on.
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06-08-2015, 04:56 AM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
If it was me I'd just tell the old man I had the test done and I am his bio kid. Fucked if I care what my parents got up to back in the day, that's their lives. I just happened to pop out of my Mama at some point and got brought up by them, but who done the fucking is immaterial IMO.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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06-08-2015, 09:29 AM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
I have central heterochromia (my eyes are two colors - green in the middle and blue on the outside of the iris). They don't know what causes this, but they are leaning towards incest. That, and I was one of those 7-month 'miracle' babies. (LOL)

I chose not to pursue that avenue. Doesn't make any difference to me. The man who raised me was my father, and a damn good one.

I can see where you would want to know, but I'll go with the crowd and tell you to sleep on it for a bit before jumping off that cliff.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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06-08-2015, 10:00 AM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
here is what I would do,

1. Write down every detail, word for word that you can remember your dad telling you.
2. talk to him about it again, maybe when he hasnt been drinking, and compare the stories. did they change?
3.go talk to land lady WITHOUT your fathers knowledge. Did the stories change?
4. go talk to Mom and your brother.
5. Talk to your uncles privately if needed.



your dad sounds like he can be a real jerk, and probably has some issues from other things you have posted about him.

if you reach the point of talking with your uncles and testing, you need to use discretion and speak privately only to the person involved.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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09-08-2015, 11:59 AM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
Your physical attributes when you say you look like your uncle more than your father is common. It's commonly called being a "throw back". I'm friends with a gal who's son looked nothing like either parent, which had me puzzled. Her father sent a bunch of family photos and there stood her son, except it was my friend's brother.
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16-08-2015, 12:15 AM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
Sorry to have missed this. Have you thought of getting tested to see who is your dad? Anyway the guy who raised you matters most.

I have no experience to offer any advice. I will wish you the best and hope you are ok.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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16-08-2015, 12:46 AM
RE: Major Identity Crisis Here
My mom divorced my biological father when I was three, and remarried not long after. Her second husband adopted me and my sister and did the heavy lifting while our father ignored us.

To me, he earnt the title "Dad" and I do not refer to my biological father as such.

Granted that I always knew who my own father was, I still think that while blood might be thicker than water, love beats them both; and to me fidelity flows to love, not biology. Were I in your shoes, I would focus on the loving upbringing your dad gave you, and not worry about who sired you.
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