Marriage and Divorce
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06-07-2015, 09:57 AM
RE: Marriage and Divorce
Congrats on SOMEHOW overcoming the "atheists can't stay married" odds, MSBB!

Rolleyes

(Seriously, congrats. It makes me happy to see marriages that last.)

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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06-07-2015, 01:26 PM
RE: Marriage and Divorce
My second marriage lasted 27 years til death did us part.

Both atheist, neither wanting kids, our marriage was all about supporting each other in whatever endeavors we pursued.

We didn't have to have the same interests (and we didn't), we didn't have to do the same things (and we didn't) - but we supported each other even in things we could not relate to or even disliked.

The result was that both got to grow in their own direction, and do so faster and more securely because of the support of the other.

We were a team. Our goal was supporting each other's pursuit of happiness. We shared our successes and defeats and tossed ideas around. We had fun doing it.

Most marriages I see fail, do so because people try to change the partner to fit their own idea of how things should be and don't support each other when their goals differ.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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06-07-2015, 02:18 PM (This post was last modified: 06-07-2015 02:27 PM by purpledaisies.)
RE: Marriage and Divorce
I've been married for almost 12 years next month and I have to say our marriage is much much stronger then it was when we would go to church. When we first got married we tried the religion thing but it just wasn't for me. I have been a great influence on my husband about religion. He now after years he is slowly coming to realize that religion is bad

Eta: we are a team that supports each other. We have basically the same interests which is awesome. We do think alike too. Its so great having someone that is awesome to you and supports the things you like.

Its not about religion or a god. Its about how you treat each other and understanding each other.

Example jim went to all the harry potter movies with me and in turn I saw movies I wasn't interested in for him. He recently wanted to see the new jarrasic world movie, so I surprised him with going to the imax that was 2 hours away so he could she it in 3D. I tricked him into thinking I wanted to go to thus town as its a tourist town. He he.

But anyway marriage is a give and take where both strive to make each other happy.
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06-07-2015, 03:27 PM
RE: Marriage and Divorce
My wife and I started dating in 1965 and got married in 1969. We've been married 46 years and we are both atheists and have been all of our lives. The idea that one has to have religion to have a good marriage is absolute bullshit.
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06-07-2015, 03:51 PM
RE: Marriage and Divorce
(06-07-2015 05:45 AM)MrKrispy601 Wrote:  At the end of the day I think you shouldn't live hating your marriage. If it's not working out why suffer and not deal with the problem that both parties are seeing. Sometimes people grow apart and it's ok to leave. I see that as more respectable that just sticking it out and cheating on the side. I digress.

I just think people should take the time out sometimes to really ask themselves what they actually think. We get so wrapped up in the NORMAL way we never think to do things OUR way.
Divorce isn't the end of the world.
I even quite often wonder why we have the concept of marriage. If two people really like each other and want to live together they don't need a license for that. If they have kids together, they don't need a license for that. In my country two people that live together in a relationship are classified as a "defacto" couple and property is then classified as being jointly owned (when/if they split), so you don't need a licence to handle the financial side.

Although I do see an issue regarding money, which even occurs within marriages.
I have a friend who is married with young children, been married for many years. She gave up her job to take care of the kids, he continues to work. He controls the money he earns, gives her an allowance for household expenses. It makes life difficult for her, she has to beg for money, she has to scrimp where he goes out and buys himself luxioury stuff.
If they were to divorce then she could get her hands on half the assets, but without divorce he can control her financially.
I would imagine this situation is quite common.
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06-07-2015, 04:36 PM
Marriage and Divorce
If Christian scandals have taught me anything, it's that possibly Root has a difficult marriage because he's a closeted homosexual. How many evangelists spend their careers spouting hatred for gays, only to be caught snuggling up to a young buck?

Maybe his marriage is difficult because he doesn't actually want to be married?
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06-07-2015, 05:56 PM
RE: Marriage and Divorce
(06-07-2015 04:36 PM)Clockwork Wrote:  If Christian scandals have taught me anything, it's that possibly Root has a difficult marriage because he's a closeted homosexual. How many evangelists spend their careers spouting hatred for gays, only to be caught snuggling up to a young buck?

Maybe his marriage is difficult because he doesn't actually want to be married?

Hahaha this is exactly what I told my husband after I read it him. Too funny lol
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06-07-2015, 08:46 PM
RE: Marriage and Divorce
The best times in a relationship don't require work. The worst times do.

The takeaway there is that you want to fall in love with someone who is willing to work at a relationship ... and be that willing yourself.
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07-07-2015, 11:18 AM
RE: Marriage and Divorce
My husband and I just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. I've been to church TWO...count em....TWO times in my entire life and may I say, that was two times too many.

As a married couple we've never been to church, not once, and guess what, we have a great time together.

I've known several gay couples who have been together 20 years or more. They have very stable relationships and it's great to see them finally get married.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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09-07-2015, 07:27 AM
RE: Marriage and Divorce
Apparently conservatives are joining in on the bandwagon. The all think it has nothing to do about your happiness just appeasement.

Regardless, heterosexual marriage is largely in trouble today because people see it as a selfish means of pleasing self, rather than a committed relationship in which the focus is on meeting the needs of the partner,” he said. “That sense of selfishness and the redefinition of love as to something that is purely sentimental and emotional, has been destructive.” Mike Huckabee
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