Marriage issues need to vent
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20-09-2017, 07:08 AM
RE: Marriage issues need to vent
(20-09-2017 06:47 AM)wazzel Wrote:  Well I am alive and still married. Not sure how much was solved, but we are talking. She still believes my lack of faith is a major contributor to all the troubles our kids are going through. When I told her I did not agree, that it was the behavior we modeled in our marriage that was the cause she backed down a bit and acknowledged that it was a contributor.

Most of our talk was centered around my lack of belief. She has a hard time understanding how I can no longer believe. I it really hard for me to get my point across for some reason. I was a seeker as a believer. I always wanted the stuff that did not add up to add up and went looking for answers. The "because god" bible study answers were never enough to give me what I wanted so I dug into church doctrine and stuff and it made less and less sense the more I dug. She thinks I just decided to not believe one day, but it was not like that. I hate to phrase it this way, but it was a lot like how kids stop believing in Santa. Over time the stories just seem more and more far fetched until one day, even if you do not find the presents, you know it to not be true. I know how indoctrinated my wife is so there is no way I could use the Santa Reference.

I did get a little snarky during part of our discussion. She made a reference to Christianity being the one religion that stood the test of time with out saying Christianity. So I asked what religion she was talking about and listed off several that are thousands of years older than Christianity and still being practiced today. She did not get mad, which was good. I really do not like pointing out how little my wife understands about what she believes because I know it hurts her. I prefer to show her day in and day out that you can be a good person without religion.

Well, that's good to hear. Now you need to get to the topic of how you are going to male a better team in regards to the kids...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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20-09-2017, 07:57 AM
RE: Marriage issues need to vent
Well it's a start, although her issue still mostly looks to be your lack of "faith" as it were.

Just ask her if she can directly link a persons religious designation, or lack there of, to how there kids grow up/behave and you'll freely convert....because she won't be able to. Having religion, any religion, doesn't mean your kids will be better behaved or better people generally. It doesn't mean anything, except where you choose to spend your Sunday mornings really.

If you need evidence: I'm an Atheist and have been since I was born, with the only religious influence being cultural at best. Happily married with a child of my own, and have never once been in trouble, never been arrested or anything of nature, never been in a fight in my life, etc. Christianity = The Crusades......so check and mate really

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20-09-2017, 08:08 AM
RE: Marriage issues need to vent
(20-09-2017 07:57 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  Well it's a start, although her issue still mostly looks to be your lack of "faith" as it were.

Just ask her if she can directly link a persons religious designation, or lack there of, to how there kids grow up/behave and you'll freely convert....because she won't be able to. Having religion, any religion, doesn't mean your kids will be better behaved or better people generally. It doesn't mean anything, except where you choose to spend your Sunday mornings really.

If you need evidence: I'm an Atheist and have been since I was born, with the only religious influence being cultural at best. Happily married with a child of my own, and have never once been in trouble, never been arrested or anything of nature, never been in a fight in my life, etc. Christianity = The Crusades......so check and mate really

We did discuss that. My point was believing in god does not necessarily make you a better person. I mention that some people who claim to believe do not live good lives. She did concede those points. I also pointed out that my behavior did not chance once I stopped believing.
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