Marriage
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
12-10-2010, 02:05 AM
RE: Marriage
I don't feel that marriage is what is important. I feel that a good relationship is what is important. The psychology of knowing the other person has a legal interest in staying with you (for example's purpose) has proven to be a catalyst in allowing you to be careless in how you treat that person. If you know that person could walk out that door any time they chose to, you would be a lot more careful about how you treated them. This is why I believe (I don't have statistics) that unmarried couples who stay together for a long time are happier than the majority of married couples.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-10-2010, 07:13 PM
RE: Marriage
I think if marriage works for a couple, then that's great.

That being said, I personally don't ever want to get married. My partner and I have been together for 6 years now, and things are going great for us. We rely on our mutual love and trust to keep us together, not a legal and binding contract. The only downside is that the military does not recognise our relationship, and so we don't receive the economic benefits that married couples get. It's not really that big of a deal though, and once we become common-law, the military will recognise it (because of our ages, and ironically because of the military, we haven't been able to live together consecutively for the period required to be considered common-law).
Canada does legally recognise common-law partners, so there really is no need for us to get married. The only reason I can think of that people (in this country at least, I don't know enough about other countries) would get married, is for religious reasons. And I think the only difference between legal rights in Canada is that it's harder to get a divorce if you've been married than it is to separate if you've been common-law partners.

"Remember, my friend, that knowledge is stronger than memory, and we should not trust the weaker." - Dr. Van Helsing, Dracula
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-04-2012, 10:42 PM
RE: Marriage
Well...ummm....
Somehow, at the present, I am not a statistic.
As of November this year, it will be eight years of marriage for me. Married at the age of 20, my husband was 18. For nearly seven of them we had no vehicle to get around and were going everywhere on foot. Four of them were spent childless. These last three, we have had not one...but two boys.
Has it been perfect?
By no means.
Would I trade it to be single again?
No.
It is far from any romance novel or childhood image of love that might be filling many a young person's mind. However, part of a real commited relationship is respect. This goes a lot further than a person's religious beliefs. It has to do with accepting a person as a whole for who he/she is all around. Think that marriage has become a joke mostly because so many people out there, never truly learned to take it seriously until faced with the responsibility as well as commitment that it turns into.
Is marriage a prison?
It does not have to be. Sadly many have come to think of it as so on account of many a simple petty thing that could likely have been overcome with the right application of trust, respect, intelligence, cooperation, or otherwise.

A man's greatest pitfall is none other than himself. For only he can dig himself a hole he cannot get out of.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-04-2012, 10:51 PM
RE: Marriage
(17-04-2012 10:42 PM)AnotherSinner Wrote:  Well...ummm....
Somehow, at the present, I am not a statistic.
As of November this year, it will be eight years of marriage for me. Married at the age of 20, my husband was 18. For nearly seven of them we had no vehicle to get around and were going everywhere on foot. Four of them were spent childless. These last three, we have had not one...but two boys.
Has it been perfect?
By no means.
Would I trade it to be single again?
No.
It is far from any romance novel or childhood image of love that might be filling many a young person's mind. However, part of a real commited relationship is respect. This goes a lot further than a person's religious beliefs. It has to do with accepting a person as a whole for who he/she is all around. Think that marriage has become a joke mostly because so many people out there, never truly learned to take it seriously until faced with the responsibility as well as commitment that it turns into.
Is marriage a prison?
It does not have to be. Sadly many have come to think of it as so on account of many a simple petty thing that could likely have been overcome with the right application of trust, respect, intelligence, cooperation, or otherwise.

Indeed, yet how much of your experience with marriage has to do with you being a Christian? How sure can you be that you'd have the same experience of fidelity and commitment if you didn't have the guilt of an "all seeing God" to keep you in the relationship?

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Erxomai's post
18-04-2012, 12:39 AM
RE: Marriage
Marriage as an institution is on the wane.

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/12/1...ecord-low/

Bye bye.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-04-2012, 08:44 AM
RE: Marriage
(17-04-2012 10:51 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(17-04-2012 10:42 PM)AnotherSinner Wrote:  Well...ummm....
Somehow, at the present, I am not a statistic.
As of November this year, it will be eight years of marriage for me. Married at the age of 20, my husband was 18. For nearly seven of them we had no vehicle to get around and were going everywhere on foot. Four of them were spent childless. These last three, we have had not one...but two boys.
Has it been perfect?
By no means.
Would I trade it to be single again?
No.
It is far from any romance novel or childhood image of love that might be filling many a young person's mind. However, part of a real commited relationship is respect. This goes a lot further than a person's religious beliefs. It has to do with accepting a person as a whole for who he/she is all around. Think that marriage has become a joke mostly because so many people out there, never truly learned to take it seriously until faced with the responsibility as well as commitment that it turns into.
Is marriage a prison?
It does not have to be. Sadly many have come to think of it as so on account of many a simple petty thing that could likely have been overcome with the right application of trust, respect, intelligence, cooperation, or otherwise.

Indeed, yet how much of your experience with marriage has to do with you being a Christian? How sure can you be that you'd have the same experience of fidelity and commitment if you didn't have the guilt of an "all seeing God" to keep you in the relationship?
Love is a factor here. Like many people have, I married my high school sweetheart. Faith or no, the very concept of love and what it is has been very twisted and more often than not depicted as a fairy tale, which it is not. This in itself has led to many a false expectation.This factor, in itself.....is something that I believe brings several marriages to crumble outside of the matter of faith.
When it comes to marriage I believe in the following:
1.There is no such thing as a perfect marriage.
2. Relationships require work. Period.
3. Love cannot be had without Respect. Respect can be had without love. In short, mutual respect is key!
I could go on for a while on this, so I am going to leave this short list as is. If you look at divorce statistics too... Atheists as well as Agnostics.....have a lower divorce rate than Christians in marriage. It is sad, but the numbers out there do not lie.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-blog...2837/posts
I cannot say my faith has not helped my marriage. At the same time, I can say I did not go into marriage blindly. There was little to no illusion that marriage was like a Cinderella Happily Ever After or Dream Come True. The idea, if it was had at all, was short lived. VERY SHORT LIVED!!!
Could I be happier in my marriage? At times, yes. However, would I ask for another chance at it? No.
While it may be a 'religious' statement....something that I do believe very much everyone should practice is:
Count your blessings. Nothing in this life is really garaunteed. So enjoy what you have while you got it, or simple neglect of what is had will likely result in regret of not realizing what was had until it is gone.

A man's greatest pitfall is none other than himself. For only he can dig himself a hole he cannot get out of.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes AnotherSinner's post
18-04-2012, 08:49 AM
RE: Marriage
Marriage is the only way I can get my prostitutes to stay in the country. A pimp needs bitches.

[Image: opforum1.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes frankiej's post
18-04-2012, 09:10 AM
RE: Marriage
Sounds like you're doing very well, Sinner. Smile
Thanks for sharing.





On another note, it's weird reading these old threads written by people who are no longer here. It's kind of like looking into a Parallel TTA Universe.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-04-2012, 09:17 AM (This post was last modified: 18-04-2012 10:30 AM by Anjele.)
RE: Marriage
Obviously I believe in marriage since I am on number three. Don't get too freaked out by that, my first husband died in a car accident leaving me with two young kids. I remarried before I had time to clear my head...it was a mistake from the get go but we stayed together seven years. It was a mess, and I found out a few years ago that when I was pregnant with our son, he had another woman pregnant. This was not the first affair by a long shot. This time I have been married twenty years...but it's been a lot of work. And there are times when I wish I had the means to make it on my own as I would just like to be alone. I am tired of sucking it up and putting up with total BS.

Too many people stay married because of religious and family pressure as well as the legal mess that divorce can be. Growing up with parents who should never have been married in the first place, I know that staying together no matter what isn't always the best plan. Our parents were so toxic together, all three of us kids are really damaged by the abuse and violence we witnessed and were direct victims of. We would have been better off if they had split up years ago. Instead mom put her plan in place and divorced dad after 47 years of marriage and in the process alienated everyone around. It was UGLY!

It's too bad that when some people know they would be happier apart they run up against so much resistance. I would love to say I had good experiences with marriage, but that would be a lie. While I have seen some good ones that work, I have seen a lot more where there are two people putting up with each other for reasons like finances and kids and social pressure.

For those it works for, I say good for you...I couldn't pull it off.

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
18-04-2012, 09:20 AM (This post was last modified: 18-04-2012 09:22 AM by Erxomai.)
RE: Marriage
(18-04-2012 12:39 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Marriage as an institution is on the wane.

http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/12/1...ecord-low/

Bye bye.
You married Buckminster?


(18-04-2012 09:17 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Obviously I believe in marriage since I am on number three. Don't get too freaked out by that, my first husband died in a car accident leaving me with two young kids. I remarried before I had time to clear my head...it was a mistake from the get go but we stayed together seven years. It was a mess, and I found out a few years ago that when I was pregnant with our son, he had another woman pregnant. This was not the first affair by a long shot. This time I have been married twenty years...but it's been a lot of work. And there are times when I wish I had the means to make it on my own as I would just like to be alone. I am tired of sucking it up and putting up with total BS.

Too many people stay married because of religious and family pressure as well as the legal mess that divorce can be. Growing up with parents who should never have been married in the first place, I know that staying together no matter what isn't always the best plan. Our parents were so toxic together, all three of us kids are really damaged by the abuse and violence we witnessed and were direct victims of. We would have been better off if they had split up years ago. Instead mom put her plan in place and divorced dad after 47 years of marriage and in the process alienated everyone around. It was UGLY!

It's too bad that when some people know they would be happier apart they run up against so much resistance. I would love to say I had good experiences with marriage, but that would be a lie. While I have seen some good ones that work, I have seen a lot more where are two people putting up with each other for reasons like finances and kids and social pressure.

For those it works for, I say good for you...I couldn't pull it off.
Actually, I didn't mean to hit "like" in the sense that I like all the turmoil you've had to go through, but I liked that you shared so candidly.

You make me think about my own experience of never having been married and having regrets about it, and yet many married folks have regrets they didn't stay single. The grass apparently isn't green on either side of the fence.

Speaking of grass, maybe if more people smoked it their marriages would be calmer. Big Grin

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: