Married to a Christian
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
03-08-2015, 06:47 AM
RE: Married to a Christian
I think if I were Jesus it would be more important that the parent loved the kids and taught them to be kind and honest, and led by example, rather than that the kid should end up loving me above all else. If she is so flexible in her beliefs, can you not make the point to her that a God worthy of following must surely be fair minded and will rather look at a person's heart than their beliefs, however misguided those beliefs may be. A God worthy of following will never condemn a kid for being curious and trying to find out about the world. But a God worthy of following would *also* value integrity, and how can one teach such a thing to a kid if one is at the same time hiding the honest truth from them?

Which is not to say that "I'll tell you when you're older" is a bad answer. I mean FFS. No kid should be thinking of stupid shit like what happens when you die. They should be playing with faeries and riding imaginary motorcycles.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like morondog's post
03-08-2015, 07:34 AM
RE: Married to a Christian
please look into this book by Dale McGowan. He is a great author, was also married to a christian, raised kids in a religious family, he just finds a way for each person to be true to themselves and be respectful to their partner.

http://www.amazon.com/Faith-Doubt-Religi...le+mcgowan


sending you hugs, I kniw this cant be easy. Just keep talking with your wife, sounds like she has many emotions/stresses/ideas/thoughts going on all at once, talking helps to difuse them even if they don't get resolved, they get out in the open, and relleive some of the stress between the two of you.

keep making the time to talk,


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Bows and Arrows's post
03-08-2015, 08:56 AM
RE: Married to a Christian
She feels abandoned by you yet she is quite willing to abandon you. I know for a fact the evangelical Christians, like to expend their energies in brain washing children into believing what they are told. Grab 'em while their young. They devalue human effort, instead, opting to give god the credit. Look at all the deaths in the name of religion and Christians cause just as many as others.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Takelababy's post
03-08-2015, 01:26 PM
RE: Married to a Christian
(03-08-2015 06:02 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  She full-out believes that I'll go to heaven when I die; it's not like she's stuck with the burden of knowing someone she loves will go to hell.

I know she is not being rational, but if you an atheist can get into heaven by being a good person, then she is arguing that being a good person is the most important requirement for getting into heaven. "Honey, what if we just teach our kids to be good people?"
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Iñigo's post
03-08-2015, 02:40 PM
RE: Married to a Christian
(03-08-2015 06:02 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  1) She's not asking me to fake being Christian, but she doesn't want me talking about my beliefs to the girls. It's still lying by omission, and it still bothers me, but at least it doesn't involve her telling me to fake it. So, if the girls ask, I'm supposed to say "I'll tell you when you're older".

I had to make this promise to the Bishop in order for him to approve defiling Holy Ground with my infidel presence. I also asked him the same question "What if they ask?" He said something like if you think they're mature enough to handle your fucked worldview then answer them. If you think they're not then don't. "Fair enough." Couple of times when they were children they asked about God and I told them to ask their mother. When they finally asked me about an afterlife they were in their early to mid teens. That's when I developed my fucked up worldview so I figured it was safe to share with them. "Kept my promise Padre. Didn't make a difference."

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like GirlyMan's post
03-08-2015, 06:06 PM
RE: Married to a Christian
(03-08-2015 06:02 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  
(02-08-2015 08:52 AM)Chas Wrote:  So it's OK for her to have the children brainwashed, but it's not OK for you to have them educated? Consider

She has made an unreasonable demand and you should point that out to her.

Years ago, she made it pretty clear that she understood that the children merely acknowledging me not believing was detrimental to them growing in faith. I agree.

Well, that's the point, isn't it? It is unfair to the children to indoctrinate them. In fact, it is cruel.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like Chas's post
04-08-2015, 05:51 AM
RE: Married to a Christian
(03-08-2015 01:26 PM)Iñigo Wrote:  I know she is not being rational, but if you an atheist can get into heaven by being a good person, then she is arguing that being a good person is the most important requirement for getting into heaven. "Honey, what if we just teach our kids to be good people?"

Actually, she believes everyone goes to heaven. I have told her several times that I'm still the same person as when I used to believe. We share the same sense of ethics and raise our girls accordingly. Her problem is simply that I don't believe. That change in and of itself was the cause of this problem.


(03-08-2015 06:06 PM)Chas Wrote:  Well, that's the point, isn't it? It is unfair to the children to indoctrinate them. In fact, it is cruel.

I agree. The biggest thing stopping me from pushing back on this is that my wife has dropped most of the damaging parts of Christianity. I'm honestly a bit confused why she is still religious apart from habit or fear of letting go. So, at least I know my daughters won't be raised with that same fear of hell and reminders of flaws that I was.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like RobbyPants's post
04-08-2015, 12:39 PM
RE: Married to a Christian
God is supposed to be good and Satan evil yet how many wars have been fought in the name of God with nary a mention of Satan?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Takelababy's post
04-08-2015, 01:35 PM
RE: Married to a Christian
(03-08-2015 06:47 AM)morondog Wrote:  I think if I were Jesus it would be more important that the parent loved the kids and taught them to be kind and honest, and led by example, rather than that the kid should end up loving me above all else. If she is so flexible in her beliefs, can you not make the point to her that a God worthy of following must surely be fair minded and will rather look at a person's heart than their beliefs, however misguided those beliefs may be. A God worthy of following will never condemn a kid for being curious and trying to find out about the world. But a God worthy of following would *also* value integrity, and how can one teach such a thing to a kid if one is at the same time hiding the honest truth from them?

Which is not to say that "I'll tell you when you're older" is a bad answer. I mean FFS. No kid should be thinking of stupid shit like what happens when you die. They should be playing with faeries and riding imaginary motorcycles.

Totally agree, but a fair warning - I said this same thing last summer. It went swimmingly...kinda like the Titanic. Confused

My ex and I had some huge fights over this...in the end, it's worth it. I'd rather be free to teach my son about reality than spend the next ten years muzzled so he can effectively indoctrinate my child with his delusion.

Guess who's learning about evolution, the earth is really really old, Adam and Eve weren't real and the flood didn't happen? That would be my six year old. And my ex can't do shit about it. Hell, even my ex believes Adam and Eve were a metaphor - why the hell he thinks I'm going to teach my son Young Earth creationist bullshit is beyond me...guess he thinks that does a better job of indoctrination. My son is quite perceptive - he knows mommy doesn't pray or go to church, and he doesn't like to, either.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Nurse's post
04-08-2015, 03:57 PM
RE: Married to a Christian
(04-08-2015 05:51 AM)RobbyPants Wrote:  Actually, she believes everyone goes to heaven.

Universal reconciliation. One of the least offensive forms of Christianity. Much more tolerable than most of theists around here saying "You're going to Hell!" "Bring it bitch."

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like GirlyMan's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: