Masturbation is wrong?
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11-08-2012, 05:56 PM
RE: Masturbation is wrong?
Sorry to besmirch the good names of Noah's daughters. Lot's daughters were the founders of Trailer Trash:


Genesis 19

New International Version (NIV)
After Sodom and Gomorrah Destroyed

30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father. 37 The older daughter had a son, and she named him Moab[g]; he is the father of the Moabites of today. 38 The younger daughter also had a son, and she named him Ben-Ammi[h]; he is the father of the Ammonites[i] of today.



Conveniently, the Moabites and Ammonites were later to be enemies of Israel. Consider

Also, let's not judge these daughters too harshly. They were the same ones that Lot offered to be gang-ass-raped all night long by the entire town of Sodom.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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11-08-2012, 06:14 PM
RE: Masturbation is wrong?
(11-08-2012 11:15 AM)Red Celt Wrote:  I'm not about to check the whole bible, but Onanism (wasted seed) does get a mention, IIRC. Or was that already covered in what you posted?

And jokes are good.

Jokes are indeed good. I hope I wasn't putting anyone down for joking about masturbation... I just thought the thread had been derailed, so I decided after checking 4 pages that I wasn't going to find any actual replies to the video.

Onan married his brother's wife Tamar according to Jewish custom. The point of this marriage was (allegedly) so that he could "carry on his brother's genetic line". Onan spilled his seed during sex, and was consequently killed by God for it.

This text has been interpreted as call masturbation is sin, but that's really stretching the context sin Onan was not pleasuring himself but did this while having sex. Catholics use this to explain why contraception is wrong, which seems to make sense in context... but it's still trying to draw a biblical law out of God's anger over it. That would be exactly like calling pity a sin because Lot's wife was killed for it, and nobody does that.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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11-08-2012, 06:25 PM
RE: Masturbation is wrong?
Oh yea... Ham. Why would Hammy be black, did he have a different Mom than his brothers? And why do Mormons and Nazis consider this questionable detail significant? Undecided

Ugh - Lot was such an asshole. His daughters were pretty creepy to want to do him so they could have his kids. Ik. Confused Such is hillbilly life, I suppose.

But their quaint story also reminds me; I want to get to the liquor store before it closes. City ordinance is 9pm and no Sunday sales. Thumbsup

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11-08-2012, 08:36 PM
Masturbation is wrong?
Yay! Our Kimmies is going to get all liquored up and come back to the masturbation thread!

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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11-08-2012, 09:10 PM
RE: Masturbation is wrong?
(11-08-2012 08:36 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Yay! Our Kimmies is going to get all liquored up and come back to the masturbation thread!

Man, you such a hillbilly preacher. Dodgy

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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11-08-2012, 09:45 PM
Masturbation is wrong?
(11-08-2012 09:10 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(11-08-2012 08:36 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Yay! Our Kimmies is going to get all liquored up and come back to the masturbation thread!

Man, you such a hillbilly preacher. Dodgy

Oh, like you weren't thinking the same thing. Dodgy

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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11-08-2012, 09:50 PM
RE: Masturbation is wrong?
This is perfect:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/81752461/

She has to be fake? I can't believe she is not a setup!

The old gods are dead, let's invent some new ones before something really bad happens.
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11-08-2012, 10:09 PM
RE: Masturbation is wrong?
This thread should be made sticky...

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11-08-2012, 10:10 PM
RE: Masturbation is wrong?
(11-08-2012 10:09 PM)KVron Wrote:  This thread should be made sticky...

That comment, sir, was genius!

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11-08-2012, 10:19 PM
RE: Masturbation is wrong?
(11-08-2012 10:10 PM)DLJ Wrote:  
(11-08-2012 10:09 PM)KVron Wrote:  This thread should be made sticky...

That comment, sir, was genius!

No pun intended!!

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