Maybe my wife is a non believer
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16-06-2012, 08:30 AM
RE: Maybe my wife is a non believer
Hey, Boe.

1 - You can't want more for someone than they want for themselves.
2 - When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
3 - Until the student is ready, love her for who she is, not who you'd prefer her to be.
4 - Make it absolutely clear what it is that you want to teach your child. If she has an issue with it, that's a serious problem and vice versa. That's true about anything. You need to be on the same page. Don't be wishy washy about it. Work that shit out before it blows up in both your faces or even worse, in your child's.

Peace and Love and Empathy,

Matt
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16-06-2012, 08:44 AM
RE: Maybe my wife is a non believer
(15-06-2012 03:18 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  Maybe I'm high, but for some reason, the op makes me crave steak. Cannibal style. Carved out of someone's possibly skeptic wife..........
The spirit of Evil lingers in the admin post...

In other news, girl's gotta come to truth on her own. I believe in locality in the sense that the deepest truths can only be found in the self. The reason the wise man is on the mountain is so that the self experiences the journey of going there. Prepping the self is all important in enlightenment.

There is, however, a loose thread for this fool to pick at. The simulation of "eternal nothingness." A vast majority of peeps get stuck on that one - how to pass time in the void - and the answer is almost too simple to understand. There ain't no time. Time is monkey mind evolved to simulate future and predict cooperative interaction, and monkey mind don't do "spending time alone foreverz," so it goes AHHHHHHHHHH!


Don't let it do that. Wink

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16-06-2012, 11:29 AM
RE: Maybe my wife is a non believer
(16-06-2012 08:08 AM)Hafnof Wrote:  Perhaps it's your general communication with your wife that you need help with? Me and mine, we talk after sex. Sometimes during!
That's just perverted. Sadcryface

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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16-06-2012, 05:13 PM
RE: Maybe my wife is a non believer
I don't think she should be forced into conversation if she isn't ready to go there. Fear is a very real thing.

I think starting off with little, not so scary, but related or somewhat related topics would help move in that direction. (something silly in the bible, or the amazing cosmos)

We all know that things like this do not happen over night.

Death is often the final and hardest term to come to acceptance with. It is scary to not have experienced something before that's inevitable and unknown. Often that's the kicker for belief if someone is wavering.
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16-06-2012, 07:33 PM
RE: Maybe my wife is a non believer
Your story is almost identical to mine. My wife says she believes their is a God but realizes most of the religious beliefs are silly bullshit. I talk to her about scientific data concerning evolution and the origin of the cosmos as a way to have her come to terms with the errors in religion. She also gets defensive when I take jabs at religion. Like someone saying this or that happened because God wanted it to and I have to chuckle and throw my two cents in. I've decided to just let things go their course. What can it hurt. Besides my kids are educated atheists so I've done my job.

.
I wasn't . . . until I was
I am . . . until I'm not
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16-06-2012, 09:07 PM
RE: Maybe my wife is a non believer
(15-06-2012 12:44 PM)FaceOfBoe Wrote:  My wife was raised Lutheran. We were married for almost 7 years before we started going to church, at which point we had a baby, and went most weekends, now even she is looking at excuses to not go.

She gives me grief for my non belief and says it bothers her. I try to bring up the subject respectfully and logically and she gets mad.

A few things though give me some reason to belief that she has a skeptic steak in her.

First off she always said she doesn't believe in the literal bible, she says it's mostly allegory. I was there once too.
She woke up in the middle of the night once in a panic, she had in he mind the thought of death and her mind wandered to the thought of eternal nothingness; that doesn't sound like something that a believer in Jesus Christ lord and savior would believe.

What I see is where I was many years ago, someone who wavered between belief and non belief, but someone who didn't want to totally state a disbelief because doing so flew in the face of a lifetime and family history of religiousness.

My question to you all is, if I see trends in her that show she is wavering in her belief, how do I open her eyes to the possibility that there is no god. (I don't want to force my beliefs on her, instead would rather give her the tools to come to that conclusion on her own) knowing:

1. She gets defensive when we talk about it, and it's not something you bring up out of the blue.
2. She seems to believe that even if you "dont' believe" you still have to pretend, as it is a social convention.
3. I would like to raise my son in an environment were he can use reason and logic, use science based parenting so to speak.
I'm in a very similar situation, only my wife is even less religious (never goes to church, doesn't even own a bible, pro choice, pro gay rights, likes strip clubs even more than me, etc.) and even she doesn't really appreciate when I try to discuss the idea that god doesn't exist.

My suggestion is to enjoy all of the other aspects of life outside of the theism/atheism duality. If she comes to you with questions, answer them. And just generally be yourself and speak your mind.

That's what I do and it seems to work out well. She claims to be a believer but I really just think it's a mental security blanket of sorts. She's functionally more or less an atheist.

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16-06-2012, 09:12 PM
RE: Maybe my wife is a non believer
Thanks for the advice, it's very helpful.

I've also secretly been reading Parenting Beyond Belief, and it's given me some food for thought as well. I always answer my son's questions with honest answers as best I know. I do, however, try to instill in him that that earth is 4 billion years old instead of 5 thousand, or whatever they are teaching now adays in dark ages school (sunday school)

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