Meet my dog.
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17-11-2014, 09:03 AM
RE: Meet my dog.
(17-11-2014 07:49 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  I know it's probably going to sound horrible and selfish and irrational, but.. I can't see myself being to one to get her euthanized... I would rather that be the way she goes, instead of slowly and in pain, but I just... That's just not something I can do.

No, it sounds like a human grappling with death and loss and responsibility for it.

If you can make yourself help her avoid what bleakness her life has become, you will feel surprisingly good about it after you get past the unavoidable grief.

You cannot escape the grief. You can limit it by avoiding any guilt. Feelings of guilt on top of grief are horrible.

Your companion is suffering - and she will do her best to cover it up until she can no more. That is her instinct, she can remain under the protection of her "pack" only by hiding infirmities. So, what you see is but a fraction of what she is going through.

The lump is likely not her worst enemy. The bare rump shows that there is no re-generating going on. All infirmities are irreversible and the collection of small infirmities makes life a bad chore. The diminished desire to move, as in she needs to be coaxed to come and eat, is where your true indicator lies.

You are facing a responsibility and it isn't going to go away because you ignore it. I have been in your place over and over again, and I have made bad calls and good calls. It is the bad calls, the extended suffering, that haunts me about some of my pets to this day, even though they have been dead for decades and others have followed.

There is nothing worse than knowing that you could have helped and didn't. It is a hard thing to do, and it takes coming to grips with the fact that suffering from day to day is not preferable to escaping into death. Especially for a creature who blissfully is not aware of the finality of death.

You will feel like a traitor the first time (or several times) you have to make that final trip with an old friend. Because you can't ask her with words.

But you can find out. What are her favorite things? Treats? Toys? some type of play or petting or other interaction with you? Lavish her with it. As long as she has the strength to at least fake her pleasure, she is well enough to be functional and would live under natural conditions. When she ceases to respond to these, that is the time the pack would eject her and she would go to die - hopefully a predator would help cut it short. If not, she would now curl up and starve to death.

As pet, she has no options. No predators to help end the suffering, and food always offered insistently. She will eat to please you and increase her own suffering to please you. Her very being will be there only for you, for those moments when she can still please you. She will quietly suffer so you don't have to face a loss.

Whether you like it or not, you have all the power and that makes you responsible. Doing the right thing is best for both of you - she gets to quit forcing herself to perform for you, and you get to know that you have helped her avoid misery.

This is the time when being loved as a pet works very much against our companions. We end up forcing them to suffer. Because we are selfish, and they sacrifice themselves to please us.

You have to live with the void anyway. Would you rather know that you helped avoid the worst of suffering or live knowing she suffered because of you?

Like I said, it is not easy and I have erred on the wrong side. It takes a lot of guts to do the right thing here. But coaxing her to eat past her natural desire is not take away her power of self-determination, the small amount of control she has over her well being, the one way she can create a somewhat speedy and peaceful death.

Is this all about you or is it all about her?

That is your decision here.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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17-11-2014, 09:56 AM
RE: Meet my dog.
Oh crap. This is horrible.

I have a dog and I can't even begin to bear the thought of this happening to her. No no no no. This is freaking unfair. I'm really sorry it's happening to you.

I don't really know what to say, and I'm afraid I can't do anything, but you have my solidarity and support. Be strong.

孤独 - The Out Crowd
Life is a flash of light between two eternities of darkness.
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17-11-2014, 04:54 PM
RE: Meet my dog.
I'm so sorry Free Thought Hug you've got a lot of great advice here that I agree with, so I just wanted to share how sorry I am Hug

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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17-11-2014, 05:48 PM
RE: Meet my dog.
I am sorry. It hurts to lose a beloved pet. I look at Chopper and dread the day but hope that I am humane enough to act when the time is right and not let my heart rule my head.

Be good to her while you still have her.

Hugs to you and gentle belly scritches to her.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. -JF
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17-11-2014, 05:57 PM
RE: Meet my dog.
Putting down pets is a really sad experience.

Our last old cat live to 20 and was in a really poor state when the vet was finally called.
It can be a really hard choice when it comes to timing.
TRy and remain strong.
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17-11-2014, 06:02 PM
RE: Meet my dog.
Pay attention to her behavior and reactions. You will know when she is no longer having a good life.

The kindest thing you can do is to let her go when it's her time. If you hold on after that, she will suffer needlessly.

When my golden got cancer, I medicated her and kept her fairly comfortable. Since she couldn't run without pain, I woulds take her to swim - she loved the water so much.

On her last day , she got a tasty breakfast, went to visit friends, then we went for a swim.

The kind veterinarian came to my house that afternoon and Poppy died peacefully in my arms in the back yard.
I sobbed my heart out; it brings a tear just to type this. But I did the right thing.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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17-11-2014, 06:42 PM
RE: Meet my dog.
Just sending a million hugs for you and your Lady.

But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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