Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
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14-05-2011, 12:01 PM
Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
So I decided to add a few people I went to church camp growing up with. I knew the chances were good they might not be happy with my atheism. Anyway, I sent a message that was completely devoid of religion. I asked how they were. This is what I got back.

Quote:Wow you have that you are an atheist plastered all over your page. Are you proud of that? Does it make you feel good to reject Jesus? Do you really believe that way?

And my response....

Quote:I asked you how you were doing because I wanted to know. If this is going to be an argument the I guess I made the wrong decision.

And then came the response.....

Quote:I was quite shocked when I started looking @ your pictures, you do not appear ro be the boy I remember. I was not trying to start an argument & I was not passing judgement. I asked a question because I really wanted to know. I would not have asked if i didn't care about you. I know you know the truth, we were both there in the tabernackle approx 16yrs ago. Satan has a way of making us forget or making us believe it wasn't real. Sorry to upset you

And since I had no intention of discussing religion I sent this....

Quote:I believe what I believe because I chose to. It was not something I decided lightly but I had to be honest with myself. I no longer believed in god and the evidence was stacked up against it for me.

I understand that some are not going to be happy with my decisions. I get that. I just wanted to say hello and see how you have been. I do not wish argue about my beliefs or religion in general.

So I have two questions. Was I wrong in even sending the message and hoping it would turn out differently? Also, was I wrong in not debating my beliefs?
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14-05-2011, 12:24 PM
 
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
(14-05-2011 12:01 PM)riseinside Wrote:  So I have two questions. Was I wrong in even sending the message and hoping it would turn out differently? Also, was I wrong in not debating my beliefs?

Maybe it's just my opinion but I think it was a mistake not to a) say "kkthnxbb", b) remove from friends, & c) block; after the very first response you got. Dodgy
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14-05-2011, 12:38 PM
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
I was very close and maybe I should have. I guess I try and have too much faith in some people.
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14-05-2011, 02:12 PM
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
At least you know what they really think now. I do not think there was any harm in sending the request. Facebook is intended to keep people in touch and that is what you were trying to do. To bad they feel the need to make an immediate judgment on you based on pictures and status updates.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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14-05-2011, 02:19 PM
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
Yeah. I've just had such good luck with people accepting me it makes me sad that there are people that cannot see past it. Oh well. Some people just never change.
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14-05-2011, 02:28 PM
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
(14-05-2011 02:19 PM)riseinside Wrote:  Yeah. I've just had such good luck with people accepting me it makes me sad that there are people that cannot see past it. Oh well. Some people just never change.

The most disappointing facebook moment for me was my family. I had actually refrained from telling them because I knew they would go a little off the deep end but facebook inadvertently did it for me. They began to post and comment on my wall things that were extremely frustrating and offensive to me. It was a very depressing moment to realize that they did all of this weeks prior to me moving off to grad school and months away from getting married (to a woman who does believe in god and is fine with me being an atheist). Did I hear a single apology after making it obvious I was offended and hurt? No. Did they ever come around to accepting my point of view and opinions? No. Has any of them ever actually bothered to talk to me about it in person? No. Has anyone of them asked me if I worshipped satan or still celebrated christmas? YES!!!!! Facebook is a blessing and a curse...maybe from god (well Mark Zuckerburg thinks he is god).

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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15-05-2011, 02:26 AM
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
I was very fortunate to get a good response from my family when I sent out an email to everybody that I was an atheist. I had already talked to my mother and that went much better than I thought. I was very nervous though and brought the subject up in a round about way. She says she can't say she isn't disappointed in my choices but she says she will always accept me. As for the rest of my family they all said they accepted me as well. I did however start receiving a lot of emails from one of my aunts that were always religious in nature, which I had never gotten before. I got tired of it at one point and responded with some atheist counterpoints and never received a response, which fixed that issue.

Friends have been more difficult. For the most part its gone smoothly but then I come across people like this. I am always told that its satan that is putting these thoughts in my head. Nobody gives me credit for actually thinking for myself. That's a bummer because I did put a lot of thought into it. Its not a decision I made lightly.

At first I was very bothered when somebody rejected me as a friend. I had a hard time dealing with it. However, after making many atheist friends and having people to talk to I have learned to laugh at the situation. If they don't want to associate with me because of my non belief then that is their loss. My life goes on and its much better after making this decision.

I wish your experience with your family was better and I hope it improves over time.
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15-05-2011, 04:04 PM
 
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
When I declared to my mother that I was an atheist she freaked out and started schooling me on why Jesus hates me.
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15-05-2011, 10:05 PM
 
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
(15-05-2011 02:26 AM)riseinside Wrote:  Friends have been more difficult. For the most part its gone smoothly but then I come across people like this. I am always told that its satan that is putting these thoughts in my head. Nobody gives me credit for actually thinking for myself. That's a bummer because I did put a lot of thought into it. Its not a decision I made lightly.

You'll find that the strictly religious generally don't value independent thought. They tend to be conservative, and would much rather you simply acquiesced to accepted "wisdom" than risked losing your faith by trusting your own mind above their collective one.

Quote:At first I was very bothered when somebody rejected me as a friend. I had a hard time dealing with it. However, after making many atheist friends and having people to talk to I have learned to laugh at the situation. If they don't want to associate with me because of my non belief then that is their loss. My life goes on and its much better after making this decision.

I'm glad that you've begun to see that extricating such people from your life is a positive, and that their approval is something to be shunned, not sought.
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15-05-2011, 10:25 PM
RE: Meeting Old Friends On Facebook
I ended up unfriending her as the only thing she added was judgment of my beliefs and it wasn't much value in that anyway.
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