Men not wanting to get married.
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14-02-2016, 03:55 PM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 03:21 PM)jabeady Wrote:  The wife and I have been married almost 40 years. If I understand all the folks here who have never been and likely never will be married, she and I are doing it wrong.

I was married for 30 years, now I'm divorced for nearly 5. Yes, I admit it, I did it wrong. I should've left at 5 years.

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14-02-2016, 04:44 PM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 03:49 PM)Rik Wrote:  
(14-02-2016 02:47 PM)Dom Wrote:  In real life, there are some nasty laws that will affect you if you are not married. Like one of you needs to go to the hospital - the other will not be permitted to be with you. You have no advocate in the hospital. You die alone. Inheritance laws are all in favor of spouses first and children second. Nothing about significant others - be prepared to pay out your ass for taxes if you manage to wrestle the inheritance away from blood relatives filing complaints.
Wouldn't a will pretty much cover that? As long as dependent children are accounted for.
Quote:Also in real life now, marriage is a contract and it can contain anything two people agree to. Called a pre-nuptial.

Besides, no one can force anyone into marriage these days. It's all up to two people only. Even when there is a child. YOUR child. A human being who could grow into a well balanced person or be damaged for life, depending on what YOU do.
It appears that no one told these women that.
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Quote:Marriage is when you make it and what you make it. If you marry someone who will imprison you, it's your own fault. If you have a marriage that's not a partnership, it's your fault.
I don't think I would say that the isolated and brain-washed women of the FLDS are at fault.

Don't get me started on the FLDS or their insane, evil cult leader Warren Jeffs. Angry

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14-02-2016, 07:13 PM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 04:44 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(14-02-2016 03:49 PM)Rik Wrote:  Wouldn't a will pretty much cover that? As long as dependent children are accounted for.
It appears that no one told these women that.
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I don't think I would say that the isolated and brain-washed women of the FLDS are at fault.

Don't get me started on the FLDS or their insane, evil cult leader Warren Jeffs. Angry

I was talking to the OP, not those poor girls.

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14-02-2016, 07:19 PM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 03:17 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  
(14-02-2016 03:11 PM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  Well that is if you assume that people won't change during marriage

True, if they promise one thing and deliver another... that's not your fault.

That happens a whole lot when people are "in love" and hormones distort their view. They promise things they can't keep, and they see things that aren't there.

I even kind of agree with Meta - one shouldn't get married based on hormones. That doesn't mean one should never get married.

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14-02-2016, 07:22 PM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 03:11 PM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  
(14-02-2016 02:47 PM)Dom Wrote:  Marriage is when you make it and what you make it. If you marry someone who will imprison you, it's your own fault. If you have a marriage that's not a partnership, it's your fault.

Well that is if you assume that people won't change during marriage

People will change all their lives long. And they will grow in different directions.

The question is, are you able to support your partner in whatever they endeavor, whether you like it or even approve of it or not? And does your partner have your back in the same way?

Those are the things that matter if you are getting married for the long run.

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14-02-2016, 07:51 PM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 07:22 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(14-02-2016 03:11 PM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  Well that is if you assume that people won't change during marriage

People will change all their lives long. And they will grow in different directions.

The question is, are you able to support your partner in whatever they endeavor, whether you like it or even approve of it or not? And does your partner have your back in the same way?

Those are the things that matter if you are getting married for the long run.

Sometimes it does not take long. Some people act nice until the marriage

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14-02-2016, 08:11 PM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 03:55 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  
(14-02-2016 03:21 PM)jabeady Wrote:  The wife and I have been married almost 40 years. If I understand all the folks here who have never been and likely never will be married, she and I are doing it wrong.

I was married for 30 years, now I'm divorced for nearly 5. Yes, I admit it, I did it wrong. I should've left at 5 years.

Well, we figure it's too late for divorce. We've seen each other naked, and are well-aware the odds are against either of us hooking up with anyone else.
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14-02-2016, 08:16 PM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 08:11 PM)jabeady Wrote:  
(14-02-2016 03:55 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  I was married for 30 years, now I'm divorced for nearly 5. Yes, I admit it, I did it wrong. I should've left at 5 years.

Well, we figure it's too late for divorce. We've seen each other naked, and are well-aware the odds are against either of us hooking up with anyone else.

Yes, something I obviously neglected to seriously consider.

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15-02-2016, 05:04 AM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
(14-02-2016 10:16 AM)Gilgamesh Wrote:  Ever hear of the herbivore men of Japan? - The Wikipedia page has some relevant information. The west is following suit.

Linky for Herbivore Men ... and there I was thinking it was about not wanting to eat meat. Confused

Quote: herbivore men are "not without romantic relationships, but have a non-assertive, indifferent attitude toward desires of flesh".

Dunno how anyone can be indifferent to fleshly desires ... but grazing? ... yeah, I get that.

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15-02-2016, 05:52 AM
RE: Men not wanting to get married.
Fine. I'll admit it. If I find myself in a serious, committed long term relationship, I want to get married again. 1. Security - makes it a lot more difficult to bail on the relationship and you're more likely to work out problems 2. Taxes 3. Wedding - that's right. I said it. I want to wear a pretty dress and have pretty pictures and say sweet things to and have sweet things said to me by the person I love and celebrate the relationship. Granted, I want it to be a smaaaaallllll wedding. Maybe elope in Bora Bora or have a whimsical wedding in the Smokies. Yep. Sounds dreamy.



And as far as the man getting screwed in the divorce- riiight. You've read my posts, yeh? If you don't have anything when you get married and then later become successful, you didn't do it alone - guess what, you split things as close to 50/50 as possible (granted I was the breadwinner and picked up more of the debt - I also kept the car, which was the majority of the debt). If you're successful before you get married, it's called a prenup. When I move back to North Alabama, my son will be mine 50% of the time and no child support will exchange hands. That's pretty standard these days. We chose to play nice and keep it out of court for a little less than $300 - taking into account child custody and that we were middle class, our costs for a contested divorce would have been about $15,000USD. Not worth it.

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