Mental Habits
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12-01-2016, 02:22 PM (This post was last modified: 12-01-2016 02:34 PM by GenesisNemesis.)
Mental Habits
I've been becoming more aware of my own mental habits over the past couple years, as part of the form of mindfulness that I've been practicing. Something interesting I've noticed is that some people don't appear to respond well to the idea that they can change their mental habits. This may be due to many factors, but the main ones that stand out to me are:

1. They've become so familiar with their own mental habits, that it becomes too uncomfortable to change. At this point their mental habits have become part of their identity/personality, so they think that it cannot be changed.

2. There might also be the mindset of "it's human nature, so I can't change it." Well, why try to change anything at all about yourself, then? If it's human nature to fail, surely you're going to fail? Why set yourself up for total failure? I view this as nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy and a stubborn refusal to attempt change, not to mention a massive underestimation of the power of the human mind.

Anyway, mental habits are super interesting, and I think people should at least be more aware of them, considering how much of an impact they have on our lives, and that things can change completely for you. What're your thoughts?

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12-01-2016, 02:50 PM
RE: Mental Habits
I'm in the process of making a major career change and every so often self doubt creeps in. I know when that happens I need to keep my eye on my goals and remind myself that I can do it and that I always have my degrees and previous work experience to fall back on if shit hits the fan. I also remind myself that we only get one life to live and we should do that being happy and living (or at least attempting) to live our dreams. No regrets Smile

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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12-01-2016, 02:51 PM
RE: Mental Habits
(12-01-2016 02:22 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  I've been becoming more aware of my own mental habits over the past couple years, as part of the form of mindfulness that I've been practicing. Something interesting I've noticed is that some people don't appear to respond well to the idea that they can change their mental habits. This may be due to many factors, but the main ones that stand out to me are:

1. They've become so familiar with their own mental habits, that it becomes too uncomfortable to change. At this point their mental habits have become part of their identity/personality, so they think that it cannot be changed.

2. There might also be the mindset of "it's human nature, so I can't change it." Well, why try to change anything at all about yourself, then? If it's human nature to fail, surely you're going to fail? Why set yourself up for total failure? I view this as nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy and a stubborn refusal to attempt change, not to mention a massive underestimation of the power of the human mind.

Anyway, mental habits are super interesting, and I think people should at least be more aware of them, considering how much of an impact they have on our lives, and that things can change completely for you. What're your thoughts?

Do you have a link as to what you are referring to "mental habits" or "mindfulness".

I have been working on controlling my thought processes as a way to curb anxiety and de-stress. I have been working with my counselor as well. Is that what you mean?

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12-01-2016, 03:04 PM
RE: Mental Habits
(12-01-2016 02:51 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  
(12-01-2016 02:22 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  I've been becoming more aware of my own mental habits over the past couple years, as part of the form of mindfulness that I've been practicing. Something interesting I've noticed is that some people don't appear to respond well to the idea that they can change their mental habits. This may be due to many factors, but the main ones that stand out to me are:

1. They've become so familiar with their own mental habits, that it becomes too uncomfortable to change. At this point their mental habits have become part of their identity/personality, so they think that it cannot be changed.

2. There might also be the mindset of "it's human nature, so I can't change it." Well, why try to change anything at all about yourself, then? If it's human nature to fail, surely you're going to fail? Why set yourself up for total failure? I view this as nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy and a stubborn refusal to attempt change, not to mention a massive underestimation of the power of the human mind.

Anyway, mental habits are super interesting, and I think people should at least be more aware of them, considering how much of an impact they have on our lives, and that things can change completely for you. What're your thoughts?

Do you have a link as to what you are referring to "mental habits" or "mindfulness".

I have been working on controlling my thought processes as a way to curb anxiety and de-stress. I have been working with my counselor as well. Is that what you mean?

That's what I mean, the often repetitive thoughts which lead to certain emotions/attitudes.

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12-01-2016, 03:16 PM
RE: Mental Habits
(12-01-2016 02:50 PM)jennybee Wrote:  I'm in the process of making a major career change and every so often self doubt creeps in. I know when that happens I need to keep my eye on my goals and remind myself that I can do it and that I always have my degrees and previous work experience to fall back on if shit hits the fan. I also remind myself that we only get one life to live and we should do that being happy and living (or at least attempting) to live our dreams. No regrets Smile

Yup! I always ask myself what's going to help me in the short term/long term (i.e. what's going to make things easier for me) and if a certain thought process isn't going to help me, then I discard that.

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12-01-2016, 03:41 PM
RE: Mental Habits
I always thought a mental habit is what a crazy guy who thinks he's a nun would wear.....................

....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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12-01-2016, 04:05 PM (This post was last modified: 12-01-2016 04:09 PM by bemore.)
RE: Mental Habits
In October 2014 I got a diploma in Clinical Hypnosis and Mindcoaching. It sounds fancy having a diploma but there is no official body that recognises hypnotherapy and it is still considered a complimentary therapy so my Diploma is just a piece of paper, however I have invested a lot of time and knowledge into learning. The British Psychology Society is starting to recognise and support certain methods now, so it is beginning to grow more but because there is no real "method" like there is with CBT (Compulsive Behaviour Therapy) that can show reliable results, there is sadly a lot of woo and people claiming things that are not possible, or are unethical in their approach and can potentially cause more damage than good.

Hypnotherapy relies on Placebo. The pre-talk I give to people needs to get them to believe that I understand and empathise with their problem and whilst I make no promises, they need to trust me and believe that change can happen. It also depends on how much somebody wants to change. I charge £150 for helping somebody to stop smoking and £60 per hour for other client based therapy. The money/cost can help eliminate those who do not really want change as I have had better results overall from charging people than I have those who I have helped for free. For example when people come to see me to stop smoking I ask them on a scale of 1-10 how much they wish to quit. If they answer 6 or below I will not see them.

Quote:1. They've become so familiar with their own mental habits, that it becomes too uncomfortable to change. At this point their mental habits have become part of their identity/personality, so they think that it cannot be changed.

I agree with this. Sometimes we have behaviours that are irrational yet we get secondary benefits from them. A smoker knows that ultimately it will kill them and will deteriorate their health yet they continue because they have misconceptions that believe that somehow it helps them relax and relieve stress, which it doesn't. Somebody who overeats and is unhappy with their weight knows that gorging on unhealthy and generally sugary food is only going to make them worse, yet they get a short term relief from doing so.

We can also learn irrational beliefs. I think counselling can be successful in helping people because it asks questions and explores the legitimacy of the belief, what evidence it is based on and if it that evidence is logical (which for most of the time I believe it isn't) For things that happen in childhood (bullying at school for example) a child's mind may not have the logical capability or experience to dismiss the bullying, however with hindsight as an adult they may be able to look back and see how illogical it is/was to believe those things.

When people come to see me to change I ask them these questions.

1: For what purpose do you want this?
2: What will you gain if you achieve this goal?
3: What will you lose if you achieve this goal?
4: What will happen if you achieve it?
5: What will happen if you don't achieve it?
6: What wont happen if you achieve it?
7: What wont happen if you don't achieve it?

The person answering these questions may never have considered any of them, or not be focused enough or have built up a big enough picture to envisage in which direction they wish to move or what it is they actually wish to achieve, how it would look and what they can gain from it.

Quote:2. There might also be the mindset of "it's human nature, so I can't change it." Well, why try to change anything at all about yourself, then? If it's human nature to fail, surely you're going to fail? Why set yourself up for total failure? I view this as nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy and a stubborn refusal to attempt change, not to mention a massive underestimation of the power of the human mind.

"If you always believe what you have always believed,
You will always feel the way you always felt.
If you always feel the way you always felt,
You will always think the way you always thought.
If you always think the way you always thought,
You will always do what you've always done.
If you always do what you have always done,
You will always get what you have always got."

Thinking that you cannot change, like I mentioned above with irrational thoughts and beliefs, is like you have quite rightly said, a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you do not explore and break down that belief, then the mind will not readily accept alternative thought patterns or positive re-enforcement. As a hypnotist I have no magical powers and I cannot make anybody do anything they don't want to do or believe anything they are not ready to believe. When I see people and help them with their problems the real magic comes from them, I am just a guide.

A great saying that I picked up recently from the film "The Experimenter" says...

"You can only understand life by looking back, you can only live life by looking forward"

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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12-01-2016, 04:29 PM
RE: Mental Habits
(12-01-2016 04:05 PM)bemore Wrote:  In October 2014 I got a diploma in Clinical Hypnosis and Mindcoaching. It sounds fancy having a diploma but there is no official body that recognises hypnotherapy and it is still considered a complimentary therapy so my Diploma is just a piece of paper, however I have invested a lot of time and knowledge into learning. The British Psychology Society is starting to recognise and support certain methods now, so it is beginning to grow more but because there is no real "method" like there is with CBT (Compulsive Behaviour Therapy) that can show reliable results, there is sadly a lot of woo and people claiming things that are not possible, or are unethical in their approach and can potentially cause more damage than good.

Hypnotherapy relies on Placebo. The pre-talk I give to people needs to get them to believe that I understand and empathise with their problem and whilst I make no promises, they need to trust me and believe that change can happen. It also depends on how much somebody wants to change. I charge £150 for helping somebody to stop smoking and £60 per hour for other client based therapy. The money/cost can help eliminate those who do not really want change as I have had better results overall from charging people than I have those who I have helped for free. For example when people come to see me to stop smoking I ask them on a scale of 1-10 how much they wish to quit. If they answer 6 or below I will not see them.

Quote:1. They've become so familiar with their own mental habits, that it becomes too uncomfortable to change. At this point their mental habits have become part of their identity/personality, so they think that it cannot be changed.

I agree with this. Sometimes we have behaviours that are irrational yet we get secondary benefits from them. A smoker knows that ultimately it will kill them and will deteriorate their health yet they continue because they have misconceptions that believe that somehow it helps them relax and relieve stress, which it doesn't. Somebody who overeats and is unhappy with their weight knows that gorging on unhealthy and generally sugary food is only going to make them worse, yet they get a short term relief from doing so.

We can also learn irrational beliefs. I think counselling can be successful in helping people because it asks questions and explores the legitimacy of the belief, what evidence it is based on and if it that evidence is logical (which for most of the time I believe it isn't) For things that happen in childhood (bullying at school for example) a child's mind may not have the logical capability or experience to dismiss the bullying, however with hindsight as an adult they may be able to look back and see how illogical it is/was to believe those things.

When people come to see me to change I ask them these questions.

1: For what purpose do you want this?
2: What will you gain if you achieve this goal?
3: What will you lose if you achieve this goal?
4: What will happen if you achieve it?
5: What will happen if you don't achieve it?
6: What wont happen if you achieve it?
7: What wont happen if you don't achieve it?

The person answering these questions may never have considered any of them, or not be focused enough or have built up a big enough picture to envisage in which direction they wish to move or what it is they actually wish to achieve, how it would look and what they can gain from it.

Quote:2. There might also be the mindset of "it's human nature, so I can't change it." Well, why try to change anything at all about yourself, then? If it's human nature to fail, surely you're going to fail? Why set yourself up for total failure? I view this as nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy and a stubborn refusal to attempt change, not to mention a massive underestimation of the power of the human mind.

"If you always believe what you have always believed,
You will always feel the way you always felt.
If you always feel the way you always felt,
You will always think the way you always thought.
If you always think the way you always thought,
You will always do what you've always done.
If you always do what you have always done,
You will always get what you have always got."

Thinking that you cannot change, like I mentioned above with irrational thoughts and beliefs, is like you have quite rightly said, a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you do not explore and break down that belief, then the mind will not readily accept alternative thought patterns or positive re-enforcement. As a hypnotist I have no magical powers and I cannot make anybody do anything they don't want to do or believe anything they are not ready to believe. When I see people and help them with their problems the real magic comes from them, I am just a guide.

A great saying that I picked up recently from the film "The Experimenter" says...

"You can only understand life by looking back, you can only live life by looking forward"

I'm curious. A lot of people think hypnotherapy is woo, "there is no official body that recognizes hypnotherapy", and in the category as acupuncture and chiropractors and aroma therapy. You use a lot of the word "believe" in your statements so how does this differ from woo or religion? Where's the science? If you don't mind my asking.

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12-01-2016, 04:42 PM
RE: Mental Habits
(12-01-2016 02:22 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  I've been becoming more aware of my own mental habits over the past couple years, as part of the form of mindfulness that I've been practicing. Something interesting I've noticed is that some people don't appear to respond well to the idea that they can change their mental habits. This may be due to many factors, but the main ones that stand out to me are:

1. They've become so familiar with their own mental habits, that it becomes too uncomfortable to change. At this point their mental habits have become part of their identity/personality, so they think that it cannot be changed.

2. There might also be the mindset of "it's human nature, so I can't change it." Well, why try to change anything at all about yourself, then? If it's human nature to fail, surely you're going to fail? Why set yourself up for total failure? I view this as nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy and a stubborn refusal to attempt change, not to mention a massive underestimation of the power of the human mind.

Anyway, mental habits are super interesting, and I think people should at least be more aware of them, considering how much of an impact they have on our lives, and that things can change completely for you. What're your thoughts?
I'm still trying to figure out HOW one do it. I can't seem to get a handle on my own. It sounds so fucking easy if only you break the code. But I don't even understand the language I'm coded in.
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12-01-2016, 05:26 PM (This post was last modified: 12-01-2016 05:44 PM by GenesisNemesis.)
RE: Mental Habits
(12-01-2016 04:42 PM)Nishi Karano Kaze Wrote:  
(12-01-2016 02:22 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  I've been becoming more aware of my own mental habits over the past couple years, as part of the form of mindfulness that I've been practicing. Something interesting I've noticed is that some people don't appear to respond well to the idea that they can change their mental habits. This may be due to many factors, but the main ones that stand out to me are:

1. They've become so familiar with their own mental habits, that it becomes too uncomfortable to change. At this point their mental habits have become part of their identity/personality, so they think that it cannot be changed.

2. There might also be the mindset of "it's human nature, so I can't change it." Well, why try to change anything at all about yourself, then? If it's human nature to fail, surely you're going to fail? Why set yourself up for total failure? I view this as nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy and a stubborn refusal to attempt change, not to mention a massive underestimation of the power of the human mind.

Anyway, mental habits are super interesting, and I think people should at least be more aware of them, considering how much of an impact they have on our lives, and that things can change completely for you. What're your thoughts?
I'm still trying to figure out HOW one do it. I can't seem to get a handle on my own. It sounds so fucking easy if only you break the code. But I don't even understand the language I'm coded in.

I think to start you have to re-evaluate what is going to make you happy. For example, are external things going to make you "happy"? Things like possessions, or even other people. If you depend upon those things for happiness, the problem could arise that you are no longer "happy" if they are taken from you. So, then you'd have to ask yourself, why would you base your happiness on something that most likely isn't going to last a very long time? If you do not base your happiness on external things, wouldn't it be the case that nothing could be taken from you?

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