Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
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21-11-2017, 03:32 PM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
How long before you are 18 and can move out?

Maybe working on some plans on how to manage that would be a good idea. Can you move in with dad or would he help you? Can you look into jobs for then? Just getting an idea of what's out there?

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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21-11-2017, 03:43 PM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
(21-11-2017 02:50 PM)Leerob Wrote:  Hey sorry you have this hard time.
Can you pick up some sports or something like that?
You talk about urges to cut, have you done it so far or are you curently able to resist? The urge to cut often comes from wanting to feel oneself and the same principle goes for other forms of selfharm as well. That is why I asked if you could do sports, because then you'd feel yourself too but you wouldn't hurt yourself.
About talking, you got us here. I know it's not the same as real life friends, but online is better than nothing, right?

Thanks so much for all of the support. I used to figure skate but had to quit due to injury and financial reasons, but as soon as I'm feeling better I hope to start working out again. Despite all the urges I've been getting, I haven't actually cut myself in about a year but I have lightly scratched myself a few times since then. Feeling isn't really a problem for me, though. It used to be about punishing myself, but now I don't really know how to describe it other than it's like I've matched my inner pain with outer pain, as if I've made my body look on the outside the way I feel on the inside. It sounds weird but sometimes I use a red pen to draw lines on my skin that simulate cuts, and it's comforting in a way. Maybe it's because I'm feeling ignored and that's how I make my problems visible to others? Not really sure but I think that has something to do with it.
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21-11-2017, 03:55 PM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
(21-11-2017 03:28 PM)Loom Wrote:  I'm so sorry you're going through this, with so little support. I too suffer from severe anxiety. When I was your age, my parents, who are also religious, practically blew it off, even though I was in constant, growing fear. The nurse at school did nothing for me. I was too embarassed to turn to anyone else. It got to the point where I started contemplating suicide, which was ironic because my fears were based primarily on my mortality.

It took a mental breakdown in the middle of a restaurant to get my parents to realize this really was a problem, and I finally started getting help.

Fast forward 6 years and I still struggle with my anxiety, but it's far more bearable.

But, in that time, even before medication, I've learned how to cope with it,,,for the most part. It's awesome that you write. I drew to cope.

You don't even need to write/draw about anxiety, it just helps to have an avenue where you can express yourself and vent your emotions without talking to anyone.

I also started meditating. You don't have to sit criss-cross on a mat chanting 'OHHHMMM' to meditate, I usually just go outside and listen. It's even better if you can hike a ways from civilization and listen to the sounds of nature.

Then there's this forum. Even though I'm separated from everyone here be it by hundreds or thousands of kilometers, they have helped me, whether it be advice or a place to vent. Keep posting here. Don't bottle things up.

Most of all, though, please seek professional help, even if it's only over the phone. There's only so much that writing and meditating can help. You might even need medication.

I wish your parents could be more understanding and get you the help you NEED. It's just awful that mental illness is brushed off so often because it isn't always visible, UNTIL things blow up.

Hang in there, and keep posting here. We'll always listen Hug

Thank you so much for your kindness and support. Everyone on this forum so far has been so supportive, and I can't even express how much it means to me. I'm going to college next year, and almost all of the ones that I've looked at have free counseling, so I plan to use that as soon as possible. Meditation is definitely something I could be better at, so I'm going to work harder at it again and stop slacking off xD

I'm so glad you finally got the help you deserve, although it saddens me that it took such a long time for you to receive it. Hope everything goes well and that things only go up from here.
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21-11-2017, 04:00 PM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
(21-11-2017 03:32 PM)Dom Wrote:  How long before you are 18 and can move out?

Maybe working on some plans on how to manage that would be a good idea. Can you move in with dad or would he help you? Can you look into jobs for then? Just getting an idea of what's out there?

I'm going off to college next year, so I will hopefully be able to live in the dorms and will probably intern while I'm there as well. There's also free counseling at most of the schools I'm looking at, which I'll use as soon as possible once I get there. I'm also pretty good at math and reading so I might tutor over the summer to get some extra cash. My dad's been super supportive of me and I'm sure he would help me out if for some reason I have trouble supporting myself as an adult.
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21-11-2017, 04:27 PM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
(21-11-2017 02:49 PM)julep Wrote:  We can try to offer support here, but you might also get some professional help from a free service such as the Crisis Text Line, described here https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the...-free-help

Here's another online resource for finding help for little or no money: http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/mhealth-care.html

In the meantime, making friends online is a way to help keep yourself sane and to remind yourself that there are kindred souls, even if they live halfway across the planet.

As well as using art or something similar to cope, my suggestion would be to spend some time plotting your escape. Think about where you want to live once you're on your own, what kind of job you want to do, what kind of life you see for yourself once you are independent and surrounded by kind and supportive people. That can be as grand and far-fetched as you want. Then think of how you could move yourself a lleeetle bit closer to that vision.

I hope your parents are okay with you going to college someday. Even if it's a religious college, you'll have more breathing room there.

Thanks so much for replying to my post. I've been a little nervous about online counseling but I think I want to give those websites a try, especially because I'll be able to text someone rather than talk on the phone, which I hate doing. I've been trying to stay connected to people online, especially with real-life friends who I just can't see in person that often.

Over the past few years I've actually made a pretty detailed plan of what I'm going to do when I'm older, from what kind of job I want to the apartment and pets I'll have. Even though a lot of it is probably going to change, I am planning to study physics in school and become a research scientist. Once I graduate I'll probably move away to get a fresh start and go to Minneapolis or some other big city. I still love my family and I'll keep in touch with them as much as I (healthily) can, but putting some physical distance between us should make it harder for them to try to smother or control me while I'm on my own.

Surprisingly, my parents have been really open to me going into science despite the fact that I'll be learning about things like evolution and the big bang. I'm really lucky in the sense that even though I'm not allowed to go to college out of state, I can pretty much pursue whatever I want (within reason, of course) while I'm at university. So far my family seems to be under the impression that my atheism is some sort of phase and I'll eventually grow up to be one of those "science proves God" people. I guess their denial is a good thing because if they knew otherwise I probably wouldn't be allowed to study science at all.
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21-11-2017, 04:48 PM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
That level of social isolation won't be doing you any favours.

Try talking to your teachers that aren't part of the home-school thing. They'll be aware of the local resources and have a better idea of your situation.

Is there a reason you aren't tutoring now? Aside from the cash, it could provide you with contact with the outside world. If you're very talented you might get "asked" to help with a group of your classmates from real school. Just let your teachers know that you need a cover story for volunteering.

Look for a youth group. It will likely need to be something fairly religious to keep your family happy but look for something progressive enough that you won't want to choke them blue in the face.

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21-11-2017, 07:05 PM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
(21-11-2017 04:48 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  That level of social isolation won't be doing you any favours.

Try talking to your teachers that aren't part of the home-school thing. They'll be aware of the local resources and have a better idea of your situation.

Is there a reason you aren't tutoring now? Aside from the cash, it could provide you with contact with the outside world. If you're very talented you might get "asked" to help with a group of your classmates from real school. Just let your teachers know that you need a cover story for volunteering.

Look for a youth group. It will likely need to be something fairly religious to keep your family happy but look for something progressive enough that you won't want to choke them blue in the face.

Unfortunately, all of the classes I take (besides the dual enrollment classes I do online) are from a homeschool/hybrid school program, and all of the teachers are a part of it. I have one teacher who I could potentially talk to, but the rest of them are really judgemental and have said some pretty awful things about people who aren't, well, them. I am, however, part of a youth group that I don't go to very often, but if things get really bad I'm sure I can talk to one of the core leaders about it. And for the most part, the people there have been pretty nice so I hope they'll be accepting of me.

I've been trying to get a job for the past few years, but just haven't been allowed to. This year, I'm taking almost all AP/dual enrollment classes so I have little time to do anything besides that and band even if my parents did let me. But over the summer I'll get as many tutoring "gigs" (idk what to call them) as possible to get some spare cash. There are a lot of kids in my neighborhood especially, so it shouldn't be too hard to find some clients.
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21-11-2017, 11:35 PM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
(21-11-2017 07:05 PM)404ReligionNotFound Wrote:  Unfortunately, all of the classes I take (besides the dual enrollment classes I do online) are from a homeschool/hybrid school program, and all of the teachers are a part of it. I have one teacher who I could potentially talk to, but the rest of them are really judgemental and have said some pretty awful things about people who aren't, well, them.

You have my deepest sympathies. Teachers should be role models. These sound like they should be disqualified from the human race.

Quote:I am, however, part of a youth group that I don't go to very often, but if things get really bad I'm sure I can talk to one of the core leaders about it. And for the most part, the people there have been pretty nice so I hope they'll be accepting of me.

That might be worth being more active in if you have the time.

Quote:This year, I'm taking almost all AP/dual enrollment classes

That's actually really great to hear. One of the tragedies that we commonly see with home-school is people who have very poor science backgrounds. That leaves them at an immediate disadvantage that's hard to recover from. If you've missed that then you're ahead of the game.

Quote:But over the summer I'll get as many tutoring "gigs" (idk what to call them)

Students Tongue

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22-11-2017, 05:08 AM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
Hey, hope you're doing ok at the moment.

I'm on the Anxiety/Depression bus as well, so you're not alone. As for coping mechanisms, trying to be more self aware is one I try to practice. When I'm stressing out or feeling low, recognizing that as a result of my condition helps me try to "work around" it. I personally listen to music/podcasts and watch movies to try and chill out a touch, and seeing my anxiety as a sign of this, I know I need to get out of the way and chill out for a bit.

Even if you are lonely, just getting out of the house is a good start as well. Plug some headphones in, and go for a walk. I was never an out-doorsy person, but again once you see the signs that you're heading for anxiety attacks/low periods in mood, see that as a sign and grab your coat/shoes and go for a walk.

Not much in the way of help, but the above and counselling (even if you have to organise it yourself and keep it from your family for now) would be the best way to go.

I'm training for a 10K run, read about it in my blog :
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22-11-2017, 08:10 AM
RE: Mental Illness- Coping Mechanisms and Advice
You said you were a musician? It helped for me to focus a lot of time on my instrument; getting good at something. It helps your mind coping with self-doubt, feeling that you're worth something.

Secondly, there's many people on this forum willing to talk to others outside of the forum. Skype, Discord, whatever. If you're having problems connecting with people in real life, it's good to have someone to talk to online.

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