Missing that thing.
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18-12-2011, 01:48 AM
Missing that thing.
I have been wanting to request help for a while, but am not sure how to form my concern.

For former believers, do you remember that euphoric feeling when you'd pray? that 'high'? I felt it a few times, it is glorious. When I left my childhood faith I practiced Buddhism for awhile. When I learned how to meditate and could self-induce that feeling, it was even greater. I loved it!

I wouldn't mind meditating now even, I think it is a totally fine and soothing activity that is beneficial. However, now I find myself getting too scientific. I think how chemical it is and I feel silly trying to do this. I analyze the psychology and neurology behind the act instead of just enjoying it. It is like I have lost my 'awe'. Does this make sense? I am too science-oriented I think (is this possible?)

I thought maybe I could embrace this... I can maybe appreciate and wonder at science- the complexity and simplicity, the beauty, the vast space and depths and maybe get that feeling back.

How can I do this? Videos maybe? But then that just ends, I can't carry it with me. I also thought of more outdoorsy stuff, or exercise more? At least while exercising even if I'm thinking about the endorphins rushing through me I will still get them anyway, ha ha. And don't suggest drugs (or do, but I know it won't be the same Wink lol )

Has anyone experienced this or felt frustrated with losing that... I hate saying feeling (a theist may argue it's god I'm missing, lol, but that's not the feeling I'm talking about)... maybe it's a lifestyle experience I miss? Like a consistant calming happy thing.

Comments, other's stories, suggestions?

Let me know if I am not clear, I'll try again Smile ha ha.

Thanks.
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18-12-2011, 05:13 AM
RE: Missing that thing.
I know exactly what you're saying.

I know a thing or two about music. I know how to make it well, I recognize the difference between perfection and "very good", I know when something is missing, I have very high standards and that kind of knowledge makes me completely unable to enjoy most of the music I hear. I find myself at a concert and everybody looks charmed but my brains work like this: aw he missed that note, he needs to work a little more on his this-and-that, that conductor is missing the artistic point of this piece. I see where he is going with it and we can all try around but I hope next time he'll know better. And so on and so forth.

And then we come out and my friends go "that was amazing!" and I shut up and wonder if we really listened to the same thing. Or I start talking and I either spoil everybody's mood or somebody shuts me up in time.

However, every once in a blue moon somebody does get it right and I feel more than pleasure. I get that religious "high" and I feel completely grateful to the musician for making me feel human again, just this once.

Understanding perfection shouldn't make you unable to enjoy it. You just need to allow yourself to do so. You don't have to make it the purpose of your life, but it's OK to indulge yourself.

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

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18-12-2011, 05:21 AM
RE: Missing that thing.
I'm not sure but this youtube video might deliver some insights. "Science saved my soul"

Observer

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Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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18-12-2011, 06:46 AM
RE: Missing that thing.
(18-12-2011 01:48 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  I have been wanting to request help for a while, but am not sure how to form my concern.

For former believers, do you remember that euphoric feeling when you'd pray? that 'high'? I felt it a few times, it is glorious. When I left my childhood faith I practiced Buddhism for awhile. When I learned how to meditate and could self-induce that feeling, it was even greater. I loved it!

I wouldn't mind meditating now even, I think it is a totally fine and soothing activity that is beneficial. However, now I find myself getting too scientific. I think how chemical it is and I feel silly trying to do this. I analyze the psychology and neurology behind the act instead of just enjoying it. It is like I have lost my 'awe'. Does this make sense? I am too science-oriented I think (is this possible?)

I thought maybe I could embrace this... I can maybe appreciate and wonder at science- the complexity and simplicity, the beauty, the vast space and depths and maybe get that feeling back.

How can I do this? Videos maybe? But then that just ends, I can't carry it with me. I also thought of more outdoorsy stuff, or exercise more? At least while exercising even if I'm thinking about the endorphins rushing through me I will still get them anyway, ha ha. And don't suggest drugs (or do, but I know it won't be the same Wink lol )

Has anyone experienced this or felt frustrated with losing that... I hate saying feeling (a theist may argue it's god I'm missing, lol, but that's not the feeling I'm talking about)... maybe it's a lifestyle experience I miss? Like a consistant calming happy thing.

Comments, other's stories, suggestions?

Let me know if I am not clear, I'll try again Smile ha ha.

Thanks.

I think I know where you're coming from, LJ. I've had a similar frustration in my post-Jesus life. I still get the same euphoria from music, only now it doesn't have to be Jesus Music to make me feel good and fortunately for me, I don't quite have Malleus' perfect ear so I'm able to enjoy "that" feeling maybe more frequently than he is.

Science per se does not fill me with awe, but the things that science discovers, like how long the universe has been here and how beautiful Hubbel's pictures of galaxies are. I mentioned, in my "Baptized in Holy Atheism" thread how affected I was by Werner Herzog's "The Forgotten Cave of Dreams." It was the beauty of the cave setting and the magnificent art displayed by people who lived 30,000 years before we did that brought not only a sense of wonder, but actual chills down my spine and wetness around my eyes.

As to your comment about not being able to take the feeling with you after a video, or some such device, but I found in my Before Atheism life that I was often frustrated that I couldn't take my Jesus Euphoria with me all the time. I'd go to a weekend retreat and feel on top of the world with Jesus. But I'd get home and life would be the same. I'd go to church and get all churched up and then home again and life would be the same. But maybe you're not meaning this. Maybe you mean, you can't take videos with you throughout your activities of the day. In which case, forget everything I said. Big Grin

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18-12-2011, 05:49 PM
RE: Missing that thing.
Thank you so much for your replies. I think it's pretty amazing we are star dust, yes. I love the science saved my soul video, it is a huge confidence builder and makes life feel so valid, no matter how 'insignificant' (there is no such thing, right? As insignificant.) Life is truly amazing with all it's complexity in every way.

I think I understand this music analogy. I can totally see how this would work. I feel the same way about photo's. I analyze them to death. However, sometimes a photo, even if it isn't following the rules, is just so beautiful for some reason. Something there is captured and becomes larger than me or you.

I will keep trying because that is what we do. I have a feeling it is much simpler than my analytical brain is leading me to believe. The process IS beautiful and I should just allow it to happen. Break the barrier. (again Smile )
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18-12-2011, 09:30 PM
RE: Missing that thing.
(18-12-2011 01:48 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  Has anyone experienced this or felt frustrated with losing that... I hate saying feeling (a theist may argue it's god I'm missing, lol, but that's not the feeling I'm talking about)... maybe it's a lifestyle experience I miss? Like a consistant calming happy thing.

Sure, but that was long before I realized the future's uncertain and the end is always near. ... "Keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel." - Words to live by.



As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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09-01-2012, 10:54 AM
RE: Missing that thing.
I totally understand what you're saying about that "feeling." Sometimes I miss it too even though I feel guilty about it. I remember when I was first "baptized" in the Holy Spirit, how I would pray for HOURS and get an amazing euphoric feeling afterwards. Of course, I now know it was just brain chemicals and not the "Holy Spirit," but it still felt good >.< God I hate being human.
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09-01-2012, 03:32 PM
RE: Missing that thing.
I know what you are talking about. I used to meditate a lot and that was a wonderful feeling to me, but for some reason I am not doing meditation anymore. It used to be a big part of me since I was a child. But somehow I lost it ...

I actually get a lot better feeling when I am doing sports, though I haven't done that in a while either. But I used to do a lot of sports, inline skating on highspeed for minimum an hour, biking 20 kilometers one way, things like that.
And the highest of feeling for me is when I get to take care of animals. I love animals, I grew up with them. It is kinda meditative for me to work with animals and to care for them. But unfortunately right we are not allowed to have pets in this appartment.
I just like the things where you can let your mind go and forget all worries for a moment or two. Very relaxing for me.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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10-01-2012, 01:27 PM
RE: Missing that thing.
(18-12-2011 01:48 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  I have been wanting to request help for a while, but am not sure how to form my concern.

For former believers, do you remember that euphoric feeling when you'd pray? that 'high'? I felt it a few times, it is glorious. When I left my childhood faith I practiced Buddhism for awhile. When I learned how to meditate and could self-induce that feeling, it was even greater. I loved it!

I wouldn't mind meditating now even, I think it is a totally fine and soothing activity that is beneficial. However, now I find myself getting too scientific. I think how chemical it is and I feel silly trying to do this. I analyze the psychology and neurology behind the act instead of just enjoying it. It is like I have lost my 'awe'. Does this make sense? I am too science-oriented I think (is this possible?)

I thought maybe I could embrace this... I can maybe appreciate and wonder at science- the complexity and simplicity, the beauty, the vast space and depths and maybe get that feeling back.

How can I do this? Videos maybe? But then that just ends, I can't carry it with me. I also thought of more outdoorsy stuff, or exercise more? At least while exercising even if I'm thinking about the endorphins rushing through me I will still get them anyway, ha ha. And don't suggest drugs (or do, but I know it won't be the same Wink lol )

Has anyone experienced this or felt frustrated with losing that... I hate saying feeling (a theist may argue it's god I'm missing, lol, but that's not the feeling I'm talking about)... maybe it's a lifestyle experience I miss? Like a consistant calming happy thing.

Comments, other's stories, suggestions?

Let me know if I am not clear, I'll try again Smile ha ha.

Thanks.

I never recall getting an euphoric or rush from anything I ever did religiously. I always found it boring and useless but I still believed. I have always gotten my rush from technology, scary things/scaring people.

The brain has a various ways to release endorphins, oxytocin, ceratonin, and many other brain altering cocktails (naturally released). Dancing, highly emotional music, adrenaline rush activities, Sexual encounters (my personal favorite), and certain foods (waistline beware).

I would suggest checking out Andy Thomson's book "Why We Believe in Gods." You can check out a couple of his talks on youtube.

At about 5mins he starts to mention the chemicals that affect the brain. I found this very interesting.




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10-01-2012, 09:29 PM
RE: Missing that thing.
People talk about the positive benefits of meditation and stuff, get with the peace, love and small furry animals. This unit, however, has been accused of that Kundalini stuff. I've been told it is both dangerous and downright insane...

And how did this fool stumble across this yoga mysticism? Drawing Gwyneth. Big Grin

My infatuation with that poor girl has officially left the edifice of the sane. Last time I drew her, there was Event; sometimes just looking at her, I go away. Next month, gonna draw her again, fully cognizant of the potential of not surviving... I mean, just drawing somebody. How crazy is that? Mind over matter.

There is tao - balance - in all things. Take care that your desire for imbalance does not leave you unbalanced, I'm saying. Wink

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