Molestation
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14-10-2016, 08:55 AM
Molestation
I am putting this thread in politics because of the current relevance, but I meant to start it long ago. I do NOT want it to turn into a Trump bashing thread, we got enough of those. I want to explore molestation.

I will omit the worst to save myself and maybe others here from the possibility of PTSD, but it happened.

I have been groped and worse without consent several times in my life. The first time it was a cousin. I went to grandma and told her. She said that it was the lot of women to bear. Men were just men and could not control themselves. At least it showed me that I was pretty and desirable. That was all she had to say.

Four times a man exposed himself to me - once in Rumania, once in Greece and twice in the US.

Once a woman let her robe fall open and displayed herself to me. So there is that, too. She was a person who had hired me as tutor....way back when.

I was groped in a street car.

I was fondled while sleeping (pretended not to wake up) by a travelling minister in Ibiza (Spanish isle) who had invited me and my friends to dinner with him and his wife and kids on his boat. They then invited us to spend the night. I had felt safe because the family was on the boat...

There are more stories to tell. Some I just repressed and only remember moments.

Now, I am older. I don't know if subsequent generations of women experienced the same. For me and my Grandma (and likely my mom) it was normal. And scary. And inevitable.

As far as the relevance to politics - I think that a lot of women remembered their experiences with molesters when the Trump tape showed and that it was his final blow for that reason.

I say enough is enough with the groping. If I had had the same experience back then as I do now, I would have raised hell. But I was young and inexperienced and grandma said it was normal...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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14-10-2016, 09:09 AM
RE: Molestation
In my experience, it's a very normal thing for women to experience. Most of the women I know and speak to about this sort of thing, have at least one story to share. Some go beyond groping to full-on assault. And their scars never go away.

One of my worst experiences is when I was propositioned (including obscene gestures) when I was 11 years old. I didn't really understand what he was doing, being 11 and naive, but I think about it now and it makes me sick to my stomach. I have also dealt with very uncomfortable situations, obscene phone calls, a boob grab, and more.

It fucking SUCKS that women have to deal with this. And what's worse, that women are still sometimes blamed for this shit in 2016.
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14-10-2016, 09:20 AM
RE: Molestation
Wow. Just, wow.

I can’t say anything like this has ever happened to me. Once some creeper pulled his car up alongside my school bus so all the kids could see him masturbating. We just pointed and laughed, which in hindsight, probably only fueled his urges. I was far from being scarred from the event.

Other than that, I can’t think of a single instance where a man has put his hands on me when I didn’t invite it. Okay, there’s been a few times that I’ve retracted permission once a guy did put his hands on me, and sure, they were reluctant to stop, but they always did stop.

The women who are accusing Trump are speaking about situations where Trump seems to approach them without so much as an iota of encouragement from the ladies. Not a single word or gesture of invitation. One woman was saying that she happened to be seated next to him on a plane and he just reached over and started touching her. (what Trump was doing on a regular airline in the first place, I don’t know.) I think if some guy reached out to touch me, I’d be so stunned that I might freeze up. The behavior would be so unexpected that I’m not sure I’d be able to gather my wits to defend myself.
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14-10-2016, 09:33 AM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 09:20 AM)Aliza Wrote:  Wow. Just, wow.

I can’t say anything like this has ever happened to me. Once some creeper pulled his car up alongside my school bus so all the kids could see him masturbating. We just pointed and laughed, which in hindsight, probably only fueled his urges. I was far from being scarred from the event.

Other than that, I can’t think of a single instance where a man has put his hands on me when I didn’t invite it. Okay, there’s been a few times that I’ve retracted permission once a guy did put his hands on me, and sure, they were reluctant to stop, but they always did stop.

The women who are accusing Trump are speaking about situations where Trump seems to approach them without so much as an iota of encouragement from the ladies. Not a single word or gesture of invitation. One woman was saying that she happened to be seated next to him on a plane and he just reached over and started touching her. (what Trump was doing on a regular airline in the first place, I don’t know.) I think if some guy reached out to touch me, I’d be so stunned that I might freeze up. The behavior would be so unexpected that I’m not sure I’d be able to gather my wits to defend myself.

All of mine were without asking, and without any kind of relationship. Just remembered one in Turkey - it was the end of Ramadan and a Turkish family had invited us to celebrate. There were some very narrow stairs in the house, one person fit at a time - and when I was going up the guy behind me groped me in the crotch - everyone was around but no one saw.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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14-10-2016, 09:41 AM
RE: Molestation
I don't understand this. Guys just get away with it, I guess. And no, it should not still be happening. We're still millenia away from sexual equality, I guess. Dodgy

I'm sorry to see what you ladies have to tolerate.
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14-10-2016, 09:44 AM
RE: Molestation
A guy can't really understand what a woman has to deal with --- unless he's raped by a man --- then I suppose he could relate......

Myself --- I've had many women flash me - and more than a few grope me.......

The only time I ever called the police - was to ask a lady cop friend if she wanted to join in.......

.....

I guess the only thing I can figure to say --- is women probably dislike having it happen to them, as much as men like it happening to themselves....


That make sense???

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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14-10-2016, 10:05 AM (This post was last modified: 14-10-2016 11:24 AM by jennybee.)
RE: Molestation
I have had several things happen to me as well.

I mentioned this in another thread as this happened fairly recently--a random guy came up to me from behind and started hitting on me while I was at the grocery store. He put his arm around me (as if I was his girlfriend) and began flirting with me. He was much bigger than me. I'm 5'6'' and he was at least 6'2''.

In high school, my friend and I went four-wheeling with two boys from my school. We had stopped for a bit in this field. I was sitting in the truck with one of the boys who started kissing me and forced me down on the seat of the truck, pinning my hands so I couldn't move. I thought for sure I was about to be raped. I started screaming for my friend and luckily, that caused the guy to stop before anything could happen.

For my 21st birthday, I went to a bar to celebrate with my friends. There was a guy at the bar, who kept buying me drinks. Needless to say, I was pretty wasted. I could barely stand on my own, he put his arm around me and tried to leave the bar with me, along with a group of his friends. Luckily, a cop who was stationed at the front door stopped them since he said he only saw me coming into that bar with a bunch of girls. The cop found my friends in the bar and told them to take me home. We had all been drinking, so a bouncer told the cop he would drive us home. The cop told the bouncer what had happened and to keep an eye on us. The bouncer drove us home safely and then asked me for my phone number so he could date me.

I have had other things happen as well-- like having my ass and chest grabbed in a bar by random men on several occasions, as well as being sexually harassed in random public places.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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14-10-2016, 10:06 AM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 09:44 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  A guy can't really understand what a woman has to deal with --- unless he's raped by a man --- then I suppose he could relate......

Myself --- I've had many women flash me - and more than a few grope me.......

The only time I ever called the police - was to ask a lady cop friend if she wanted to join in.......

.....

I guess the only thing I can figure to say --- is women probably dislike having it happen to them, as much as men like it happening to themselves....


That make sense???

I hated it and hate it. If it happened today I would slap the guy silly. Luckily I am too old now for them to be interested.

You feel used, you feel like an object, you feel degraded and helpless. You feel dirty. Then you feel a fool for not saying anything. Then you feel scared when you get in a situation where strange men are too close.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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14-10-2016, 10:21 AM
RE: Molestation
I'm probably at the other end of the spectrum, though perhaps I joke a little more than I should and downplay things I hear out of habit.

I was 24 the first time I held hands, and that was only because in recognition of my obvious discomfort towards physical contact, she essentially forced herself on me. I guess the difference in my case is that it was about the greatest feeling in the world, albeit a short-lived one. To date, I don't even like causal
hugs with anyone except my girlfriend. Even the thought of hugging my mom or a close friend makes me uncomfortable. I couldn't even imagine trying to grope someone. At any rate, intimacy is essentially dead in my current and 2nd relationship because, since having our kids, she doesn't have the same aggressiveness as the first and neither do I when it comes to stuff like that. So we act like good friends who happen to have kids together while I slowly go insaner and try not to act bitter as a result.

'Murican Canadian
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14-10-2016, 10:42 AM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 10:21 AM)yakherder Wrote:  I'm probably at the other end of the spectrum, though perhaps I joke a little more than I should and downplay things I hear out of habit.

I was 24 the first time I held hands, and that was only because in recognition of my obvious discomfort towards physical contact, she essentially forced herself on me. I guess the difference in my case is that it was about the greatest feeling in the world, albeit a short-lived one. To date, I don't even like causal
hugs with anyone except my girlfriend. Even the thought of hugging my mom or a close friend makes me uncomfortable. I couldn't even imagine trying to grope someone. At any rate, intimacy is essentially dead in my current and 2nd relationship because, since having our kids, she doesn't have the same aggressiveness as the first and neither do I when it comes to stuff like that. So we act like good friends who happen to have kids together while I slowly go insaner and try not to act bitter as a result.

What you need is romance to wake her feelings up.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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