Molestation
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14-10-2016, 12:35 PM
RE: Molestation
My first: Age 15, I'm walking with my best friend in a park, middle of the afternoon, both of us wearing T-shirts, a creepy older man passes us on the pathway and reaches out and grabs my breast. And then, when I am shocked and upset, my friend BLAMES ME for HIS action because she says my T shirt was too tight (this shirt went all the way up to my neck and was not particularly tight, but I did have boobs by that time, and she didn't)...my first experience with victim-blaming.

Age 17: my band is playing a Halloween event, and during a break a man wearing a Nixon mask grabs me and pulls me onto the dance floor and then squishes me to him, crotch to crotch, and squeezes my buttocks. I break away from him and run back to the band area, but I don't tell anyone.

Then I moved to Chicago to go to college and lived in the city for many years. Catcalls were pretty much a daily feature of my life for the next 14 years. A partial list of other moments: guy masturbating, staring at me, in the seat right across from me on the bus--also a couple of other guys masturbating, on the subway; guy accosting me on a busy street at about noon, getting mad when I didn't want to stop to talk, and trying, literally, to throw me off the sidewalk and into traffic (I got away and hid in a store); guy following me to a friend's apartment talking about how he was going to fuck me and I was going to love it eventually--at 10:00 a.m.--walking back and forth on the sidewalk like a shark until my friend finally buzzed me in; guy repeatedly calling the gym where I was head aerobics instructor to try to get my home address; guy followed me as I walked home from the gym and put a gun to my back and told me to stop--I screamed and ran instead; big muscle-head guy in (a different) gym following me around as I worked, telling me I had to date him.

There's more, but that's probably enough for now...

It's hard for me not to feel a bit skittish sometimes, and I'm not sure how much my reluctance about physical contact with people I don't know well is protective and how much is innate.

(and Trump is a scuzzbag and I bet he did everything he boasted about and has been accused of, and more) (sorry, couldn't help myself)
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14-10-2016, 12:46 PM
RE: Molestation
I'm a hugger, but only with consent, really only with other huggers. I have had my ass pinched by women a couple of times and several times have had women lean into to me with their boobs. A couple of those times may or may not have been accidental, but the other times were clearly intentional. As teenager, I was once propositioned by a woman in her 30s or 40s while at Six Flags with some friends. She was with a couple of other women and they all appeared drunk. When I blushed and demurred, they all laughed so I'm not sure if they were just messing with me or what. Both my ex-wife and my current girlfriend have both been catcalled while I was with them. Fortunately for everyone involved, the offenders were in passing vehicles. When I was dating my ex-wife in college, a mutual friend of ours slapped her on the ass when I was not around. I pretty sure the "emotional scars" caused by that incident stayed with him a lot longer than it did her.

I have been in crowded parties where there was lots of unavoidable bodily contact going on. When in those situations, I always keep my hands at shoulder level or higher to avoid any unintentional hand-to-body-part contact or to avoid being blamed for it happening. In those particular situations, there was always lots of groping, by members of both sexes. While some enjoyed it, there was almost always some altercation before the night was over because someone crossed the line. Usually this was the result of a guy trying to put his hand underneath clothing.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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14-10-2016, 01:04 PM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 11:54 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Do guys actually think women are going to drop everything they're doing and run over to the guy and have sex with him? What's going on in their brains? It's very puzzling.
Most guys don't cat call, most guys don't lean out of car windows and shout at girls.
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14-10-2016, 01:10 PM
RE: Molestation
When I was in college (many years ago), there was a guy who was perhaps literally crazy. There was something really disturbing about him in a criminal sort of way. However, my roommate was friends with him so I saw much more of him than I cared to (yeah, that roommate had a screw loose too). The guy was always polite with me though and I was polite with him also until this one night at a bar. I was there with a few friends and he was there drinking alone. As he got up to leave, he came over and said "hey, what are you doing here?" in a polite tone, but then, out of nowhere, just grabbed me in the crotch. It totally took me by surprise. This was not sexual and he wasn't gay. He was just asserting his dominance from one guy to another. In a flash, a range of possibilities went through my head. I could tell him off, but that's probably what he wanted. I could grab him back or punch him in the face, but both of those would probably start a fight and I'd be talking with the police that night. Besides, it wouldn't have surprised me if he was carrying a knife or other weapon. I finally opted for a serious eye contact stare to let him know I wasn't threatened. But, after he left and it was over, it bothered me for quite some time. Because, although I hadn't admitted it, I felt humiliated in front of my friends (maybe they were thinking I shouldn't have let it go so easily) and I felt pissed off that the guy would demean me like that. I imagine this is something like what women go through when men grope them, but for women it's probably even worse. It sucks.

@DonaldTrump, Patriotism is not honoring your flag no matter what your country/leader does. It's doing whatever it takes to make your country the best it can be as long as its not violent.
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14-10-2016, 01:17 PM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 01:04 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(14-10-2016 11:54 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Do guys actually think women are going to drop everything they're doing and run over to the guy and have sex with him? What's going on in their brains? It's very puzzling.
Most guys don't cat call, most guys don't lean out of car windows and shout at girls.

Not all guys cat call, but many do. I would say more often than not, based on my experience. Mostly it's when women are by themselves or with another female.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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14-10-2016, 01:20 PM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 01:04 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(14-10-2016 11:54 AM)dancefortwo Wrote:  Do guys actually think women are going to drop everything they're doing and run over to the guy and have sex with him? What's going on in their brains? It's very puzzling.
Most guys don't cat call, most guys don't lean out of car windows and shout at girls.

I've posted this before--watch. I would say most women in this thread would say they've experienced the same on a regular basis.




"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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14-10-2016, 01:38 PM
RE: Molestation
My gay friends grab my package as a greeting. They tell me it's customary but I'm not so sure.

#sigh
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14-10-2016, 01:46 PM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 01:20 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(14-10-2016 01:04 PM)Stevil Wrote:  Most guys don't cat call, most guys don't lean out of car windows and shout at girls.

I've posted this before--watch. I would say most women in this thread would say they've experienced the same on a regular basis.




I've seen that. All I know is, I don't belong in a city like that. I'd eventually get my ass kicked or worse. I just can't stand by for shit like that.
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14-10-2016, 03:25 PM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 12:12 PM)Metazoa Zeke Wrote:  Molestation is quite a "funny" thing, and not in a good way. It makes me wonder why men even try grouping because it actually lowers there chances for sex by a lot, and this ain't exclusive to humans. What I have noticed within animals is that in a species where the male is the one trying to impress a mate. Any male that decided "I will just claim the female (i.e grouping), the female will retaliate or reject them, hell sometimes even injure them. In the animal kingdom, rarely does just going up to a girl and trying to have sex with her work like trying to convince the female that you are worth mating with.

In short, grouping won't get ya laid, it will do the opposite in fact.

I don't think any of these guys expect to get laid. It's more of a power thing.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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14-10-2016, 03:28 PM
RE: Molestation
(14-10-2016 01:20 PM)jennybee Wrote:  
(14-10-2016 01:04 PM)Stevil Wrote:  Most guys don't cat call, most guys don't lean out of car windows and shout at girls.

I've posted this before--watch. I would say most women in this thread would say they've experienced the same on a regular basis.




Yep. And this is why women who wear Burkas say it makes them feel safe.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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