Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
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24-07-2013, 02:28 AM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
(23-07-2013 11:14 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  How about abruptly change the subject, whenever she starts in.
"Say, by the way, did you hear about ... "
Pick something that she dislikes, or finds VERY boring, or distasteful, or disgusting, like "You know, I was reading about frog poop again, and it's so fascinating. Don't you think it's fascinating? It's all green and slimy. You really should read about frog poop. Have you studied frog poop ever ? Oh you'll love frog poop." Keep doing it, every time, so she learns whenever SHE brings up religion, sure as shit, YOU will start in with ... whatever it is. She will stop. Learned response, from negative reinforcement.

That's rude though.
How would you like to be constantly abruptly interrupted every time you tried to talk about something you like?

The best and only response to the situation, in my opinion, is to suck it up.
Dare I say don't be so selfish?

Atheist's are quick to throw around how Christians aren't tolerate enough...
Lead by example.

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24-07-2013, 05:50 AM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
Well, as long as her entire life revolves around religion, she won't be able to keep it out of conversations even if she bites her tongue off.

How about going about it in a different way and trying to introduce other interests into her life? If she could find a hobby that will engage her daily, new things would enter her thoughts and conversation...

If you can scope out something that would fit, you could send little gifts that further the hobby, like picture books about it etc.

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24-07-2013, 10:07 AM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
(24-07-2013 02:28 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  
(23-07-2013 11:14 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  How about abruptly change the subject, whenever she starts in.
"Say, by the way, did you hear about ... "
Pick something that she dislikes, or finds VERY boring, or distasteful, or disgusting, like "You know, I was reading about frog poop again, and it's so fascinating. Don't you think it's fascinating? It's all green and slimy. You really should read about frog poop. Have you studied frog poop ever ? Oh you'll love frog poop." Keep doing it, every time, so she learns whenever SHE brings up religion, sure as shit, YOU will start in with ... whatever it is. She will stop. Learned response, from negative reinforcement.

That's rude though.
How would you like to be constantly abruptly interrupted every time you tried to talk about something you like?

The best and only response to the situation, in my opinion, is to suck it up.
Dare I say don't be so selfish?

Atheist's are quick to throw around how Christians aren't tolerate enough...
Lead by example.

Nope. What really is rude is her mom's constantly shoving her beliefs down her daughter's throat, without request. It's payment in kind. Of course I wouldn't want to be interrupted. THAT's precisely the point. If I was constantly interrupted, I would reevaluate my behavior, and stop trying to impose what I like on someone who is not at all interested.

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Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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24-07-2013, 10:43 AM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
(24-07-2013 10:07 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(24-07-2013 02:28 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  That's rude though.
How would you like to be constantly abruptly interrupted every time you tried to talk about something you like?

The best and only response to the situation, in my opinion, is to suck it up.
Dare I say don't be so selfish?

Atheist's are quick to throw around how Christians aren't tolerate enough...
Lead by example.

Nope. What really is rude is her mom's constantly shoving her beliefs down her daughter's throat, without request. It's payment in kind. Of course I wouldn't want to be interrupted. THAT's precisely the point. If I was constantly interrupted, I would reevaluate my behavior, and stop trying to impose what I like on someone who is not at all interested.

If she goes to church daily, and that is all she does, there is no way her brain will not interject church stuff at every opportunity. I doubt she could control it at all, unless she just stops talking and designs each sentence before she says it. That is not going to happen, it's not human.

She needs to do things other than church in her life to be able to talk about things without defaulting to church stuff all the time. She needs another interest.

My aunt who is 80+ goes to church daily and other than that just sits at home. The only thing I can talk about with her that does not have her spontaneously inject religion into the conversation is the past - when she lived a full life and church was not the dominating thing in her life. We can talk an hour that way without god making an appearance.

Talking about present events - hers or mine -always has something god or other in almost every sentence. Because that is all there is.

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24-07-2013, 12:20 PM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
Send her my way and I will set her straight. Don't worry. Drinking Beverage

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24-07-2013, 05:22 PM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
Thank you guy,
I know I should suck it up. And I really like the idea of introducing a new hobby and try to talk about current or past events.
You are right about the fact, that there’s obviously nothing else going on, so church is all she talk about. I didn’t see it from this point of view.
I want to find a way to be more patient with her. I know I have a short temper, so that makes things a lot harder. So if you have any techniques not to snap or roll my eyes (even if I do it inside), that would be really helpfulSmile
She keeps giving me to read all this books, about god and Christian apologist. So I was thinking to make a deal with her, I’ll read one of her books and she’ll read one of mine. I was thinking something by Dawkins, like The Greatest Show on Earth. I found it very interesting and easy to read. So we can talk and compare our ideas. We both like to read so, I think it might workSmile
Any other books you can suggest?
Who know, maybe we’ll get to the God DelusionWink
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24-07-2013, 05:25 PM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
(24-07-2013 05:22 PM)Happy Wrote:  Thank you guy,
I know I should suck it up. And I really like the idea of introducing a new hobby and try to talk about current or past events.
You are right about the fact, that there’s obviously nothing else going on, so church is all she talk about. I didn’t see it from this point of view.
I want to find a way to be more patient with her. I know I have a short temper, so that makes things a lot harder. So if you have any techniques not to snap or roll my eyes (even if I do it inside), that would be really helpfulSmile
She keeps giving me to read all this books, about god and Christian apologist. So I was thinking to make a deal with her, I’ll read one of her books and she’ll read one of mine. I was thinking something by Dawkins, like The Greatest Show on Earth. I found it very interesting and easy to read. So we can talk and compare our ideas. We both like to read so, I think it might workSmile
Any other books you can suggest?
Who know, maybe we’ll get to the God DelusionWink

The God Delusion is, in my opinion, too harsh to start out with if the person is a strong believer. I recommend these books.

Demon Haunted World - Carl Sagan
The Believing Brain - Michael Shermer

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24-07-2013, 05:33 PM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?

The God Delusion is, in my opinion, too harsh to start out with if the person is a strong believer. I recommend these books.

Demon Haunted World - Carl Sagan
The Believing Brain - Michael Shermer
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Thank youSmile
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24-07-2013, 05:34 PM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
(24-07-2013 05:33 PM)Happy Wrote:  Thank youSmile

No problem! ;D

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24-07-2013, 05:36 PM
RE: Mom, can we talk about something else but god?
(23-07-2013 07:04 PM)Happy Wrote:  What shall I do? How can I be more patient? Anything I can read or watch on the topic. How do I not get frustrated with all that god god god god god god god god! I really appreciate your helpSmile
Your mom reminds me of my grandma. For her, God is comfort, love, decency, safety, solutions, everything good. There's no point in attacking or rejecting God, she is unable to separate God from the good things.

Does your mom go through some distress? Middle age crisis? Loss of a husband? Realization of mortality? For my grandma it was probably experiencing WW2 when she was about 4 or 5.

But you might help her find a healthier sense of SELF-confidence. Tell her just casually about how YOU managed something, figured something out, or something happened for a clear god-less cause. And if she tries to put god in it, just laugh it off... Doesn't god have more important stuff to do? God isn't our nanny, god helps those who help themselves. If she finds out you're an atheist, buy her the book Atheism for dummies so she doesn't get any wrong ideas that you'd throw out all the good stuff along with god.
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