Momzilla....again.
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16-09-2017, 11:29 AM
RE: Momzilla....again.
(16-09-2017 11:04 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Now I need a tranquilizer. Sadcryface

What you need is to stop getting updates on a situation that you have no control over, and have no responsibility for and which is starting to compromise your own recovery.

A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
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16-09-2017, 12:17 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
(16-09-2017 11:04 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Somehow, some way...mom has figured out how to be released today.

Yesterday they wouldn't let her have a phone in her room because she was on suicide watch and she could hang herself with the cord. Today they are sending her home...alone and unsupervised.

WTAF....our medical system is so screwed up.

Now I need a tranquilizer. Sadcryface

Medical care is meh...

Mental health care (which is what momzilla needs) is woefully inadequate. You owe this woman nothing. I'm sorry that other family members are giving you a hard time. Even if you hadn't just had a heart attack, I'd be advocating for you do absolutely NOTHING for that woman.

I would just disengage from the whole situation. If they can't understand it...then it's really not on you at all. It's just about their own feelings of guilt and they need to work through that shit themselves.

Just my two cents...


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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16-09-2017, 12:46 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
Set your phone not to ring or alert for texts and calls. Don't check it except for once a day when you're seated and ready. Don't waste your mental on what you can't control.

Tough situation. I'm pretty sure all the posters on here who have lived with addiction will agree with me that the addict has to be the one to do the work to survive addiction. You need to take care of you like everyone else says.

Take care.
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16-09-2017, 01:30 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
Another update...my brother is an idiot...no, wait...that's not news.

Momzilla is still in the original hospital and may not be getting out but Mark is useless at getting complete and correct information.

In other news, I went out and bought a new bird feeder...I am going to sit on my patio and wait for my husband to come home and grill steaks.

Somewhere in between I am going to do some more work...I have to keep my job and getting lost in numbers may be what I need to do for a couple hours.

And...in the mail I got a notice that I could be buried for no cost at the DFW National Cemetery. FFS. Facepalm I could only laugh, then hung it on the fridge.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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16-09-2017, 01:46 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
(16-09-2017 01:30 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Another update...my brother is an idiot...no, wait...that's not news.

Momzilla is still in the original hospital and may not be getting out but Mark is useless at getting complete and correct information.

In other news, I went out and bought a new bird feeder...I am going to sit on my patio and wait for my husband to come home and grill steaks.

Somewhere in between I am going to do some more work...I have to keep my job and getting lost in numbers may be what I need to do for a couple hours.

And...in the mail I got a notice that I could be buried for no cost at the DFW National Cemetery. FFS. Facepalm I could only laugh, then hung it on the fridge.


I'm so sorry for all the troubles you're having. Yeah, I think you need to turn your phone off. Just take care of yourself. Screw em. Let them stew in their own juices.

Hug

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
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Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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16-09-2017, 02:35 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
(16-09-2017 11:29 AM)unsapien Wrote:  
(16-09-2017 11:04 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Now I need a tranquilizer. Sadcryface

What you need is to stop getting updates on a situation that you have no control over, and have no responsibility for and which is starting to compromise your own recovery.

^^^^^

Exactly. Don't invest emotions, especially a desire to control the outcome, when you cannot in fact do that. If mom wants to drink or do drugs or kill herself, you cannot do anything. And quite frankly, her behavior strikes me as classic addict behavior, manipulation by guilting others in order to gain what she wants.

I don't know you or her, obviously, but it seems clear to me that she wants you to say "it's okay, I still love you" as a salve for her own conscience. Giving that to her under the duress she's imposing only puts you on the hook more emotionally.

I may not be reading the situation correctly, but as a recovering alcoholic myself, I know that I engaged in this behavior in order to avoid confronting the black hole inside me -- "I can't be all that bad, (fill in the blank) still loves me." I hope I'm wrong, but in case I'm not I offer this opinion. I'm sorry if it touches on sensitive spots.

Take care of yourself and let mom do what she's going to do anyway ... without chaining your emotions to hers.

Get well, Anj. I wish the best for you.
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16-09-2017, 02:38 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
This forum is a bigger help to me than I can ever put into words...thank you everyone.

I am humbled by your care and the time you take to respond.

Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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16-09-2017, 03:58 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
Loving someone with problems doesn't make their problems yours.

Unless you marry them.

...

Be glad she's a blood relative.

Wink

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16-09-2017, 09:27 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
(16-09-2017 02:38 PM)Anjele Wrote:  This forum is a bigger help to me than I can ever put into words...thank you everyone...

My thoughts are with you Anjele. Unfortunately, and inevitably, there comes a time when the demands of a family member become so overwhelming that they start to impinge on your own health and state of mind. At that point the only rational thing to do is to let it all go, and start looking after yourself as your own "carer".

Whatever your mum does or does not do is ultimately beyond your control, and the results of her behaviour are entirely her own. It may sound harsh, but self-survival has to be one's prime concern, particularly if that's dictated by poor health, or the ramifications of somebody else's unreasonable conduct.

Hang in there. Hug

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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16-09-2017, 11:51 PM
RE: Momzilla....again.
Anjele,

you helepd me a lot when i had to struggle with the dead of my own mother which forced me to think about the relationship i had with her.

But i can only stress what other people already told you: Dont (literally) kill yourself with a(nother) heart attack by worrying over your mother who suffers from self inflicted alcoholism. Remove her from your life. You have your siblings to get you involved once your participation is needed.

Ceterum censeo, religionem delendam esse
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