Mourning After Religion?
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13-11-2012, 02:09 AM
Mourning After Religion?
Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.
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13-11-2012, 02:16 AM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
I'd say those are some fairly common feelings you are having there.

Personally, I say don't worry, in time your mind will settle and you'll start to get things straight.
Probably some left over indoctrination.

Then again, I can't say it has happened to me...

A single action is worth more than the words it takes to describe it.
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13-11-2012, 02:38 AM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
You're certainly not alone. You've given up an old worldview based on fantasy with a completely contradictory worldview that you had to claw and scratch at to learn and understand. Take pride in breaking down the barriers that kept you from this freedom. But you're sounding like your initial "shock" at shedding the old paradigm is fading and you're beginning to feel the pain of separation.

You might find something of use in our Recovering From Religion Forum. http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...m-Religion

The first thread that is stickied there has a lot of great insights and resources.

It does get better. Hug

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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13-11-2012, 04:56 AM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
(13-11-2012 02:09 AM)kpax Wrote:  Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.
You should move to Australia.

God botherers are the dumb minority here. Big Grin
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13-11-2012, 05:56 AM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
(13-11-2012 04:56 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  
(13-11-2012 02:09 AM)kpax Wrote:  Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.
You should move to Australia.

God botherers are the dumb minority here. Big Grin


Go us! yay!

A single action is worth more than the words it takes to describe it.
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13-11-2012, 06:27 AM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
(13-11-2012 02:09 AM)kpax Wrote:  Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.
Welcome to the human condition, please mind the gap and dont leave your luggage unattended. Thank you.

Legal Disclaimer: I am right, I reserve the right to be wrong without notice, opinions may change, your statutory rights are not affected, opinions expressed are not my own and are an approximation for the sake of communication.
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14-11-2012, 12:23 AM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
Thank you for the support guys. I will definitely read the Recovering From Religion section. I think I'm getting ready to out myself soon to friends and family. Will be needing this site more than ever!
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14-11-2012, 12:34 AM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
I'm glad you're able to reach out and find help Smile We live in such an awesome time for the internet and communication. Imagine trying to find people and communities like this before it existed!
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15-11-2012, 11:49 PM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
(13-11-2012 02:09 AM)kpax Wrote:  Since becoming an Atheist about 4 months ago, I've been pretty excited but I think some mourning is beginning to settle in....

I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm pretty happy with the road I chose to take. It feels overwhelming with the road ahead not really knowing where to go from here, anticipating how everyone is going to react once they find out, wondering how it feels to be free, wondering when I will make my first offline atheist friend who I can really be myself around, wondering if I'll be forever single because I cannot find an atheist boyfriend.

On the other hand I could continue to pretend that I am a Christian. Even go to church. Pray with friends and family. Say the empty "I will pray for you" whenever someone is ill or dying. Avoid conflict. Pretend to live a religious life. Pray at the dinner table.

I don't think I could go back to that empty life even if I wanted to. I am beginning to realize how permanent this is.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy. I just feel so let down and disappointed. And scared...

I feel like I am starting all over again in a new life with no real sense of direction.


You don't have to find an atheist boyfriend. I am an atheist and married a christian. I think she will eventually lose her faith for some reason, but I can't be sure and I did not marry her with a plan to change her mind. She knows I am an atheist, yet understands that I have morals not too different from hers. Hang in there and be open-minded when it comes to dating.
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16-11-2012, 12:01 AM
RE: Mourning After Religion?
Thanks, BirdGuy. Smile
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