Movie rant thread
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28-04-2016, 09:25 AM
Movie rant thread
Now I didn't look behind in the history of this thread section like 4 years, but as far I know, there isn't a dedicated thread here around the subjects of bad movies; the kind who left a sour taste in your mouth. Rather it be because of unfulfilled high expectations, expected low expectations or an accidental pile of crap you watched at 2:30 am, 'cause nothing else on TV. Here you can tear it apart.

As usual, I'll start:

The Blair Witch project

I'm sorry beforehand; I know the movie had a low budget and no high profile actors. But for a movie that holds an 86 % on RT, what the fuck... I don't care if it spawned an entire genre (which I can say has a general 86 % chance of sucking atleast), it's a painful boring movie.

I was never scared in this movie. The "actors" gave me a headache with their unconvincing rabble. Worse, Rev told me while I watched it, that he had lived close to the where they filmed it; according to him, it is literally impossible for 3 adults to get lost there.

I had more fun watching a no budget Slenderman documentary on Youtube than this; and I think Slenderman is among stupidest urban myths out there.

Oh yeah, I know it has a sequel. I found that movie funny because atleast it was aware it was shit.

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28-04-2016, 09:43 AM
RE: Movie rant thread
(28-04-2016 09:25 AM)ELK12695 Wrote:  Now I didn't look behind in the history of this thread section like 4 years, but as far I know, there isn't a dedicated thread here around the subjects of bad movies; the kind who left a sour taste in your mouth. Rather it be because of unfulfilled high expectations, expected low expectations or an accidental pile of crap you watched at 2:30 am, 'cause nothing else on TV. Here you can tear it apart.

As usual, I'll start:

The Blair Witch project

I'm sorry beforehand; I know the movie had a low budget and no high profile actors. But for a movie that holds an 86 % on RT, what the fuck... I don't care if it spawned an entire genre (which I can say has a general 86 % chance of sucking atleast), it's a painful boring movie.

I was never scared in this movie. The "actors" gave me a headache with their unconvincing rabble. Worse, Rev told me while I watched it, that he had lived close to the where they filmed it; according to him, it is literally impossible for 3 adults to get lost there.

I had more fun watching a no budget Slenderman documentary on Youtube than this; and I think Slenderman is among stupidest urban myths out there.

Oh yeah, I know it has a sequel. I found that movie funny because atleast it was aware it was shit.

The thing I most remember about Blair Witch, people thought it was REAL!

I haven't thought about slenderman in years!

I'm known to watch any crappy disaster movie (usually complete with poorly rendered....well, everything).

I love the ones about the whole axial shift, or earthquakes that destroy New York or the immediate ice age stuff caused of course by fracking or other nonsense.

Recently, I tried to watch Cowboys verses dinosaurs (something like that). Omg the acting was sooo terrible, it was like porn without the sex.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-04-2016, 10:53 AM
RE: Movie rant thread
(28-04-2016 09:43 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(28-04-2016 09:25 AM)ELK12695 Wrote:  Now I didn't look behind in the history of this thread section like 4 years, but as far I know, there isn't a dedicated thread here around the subjects of bad movies; the kind who left a sour taste in your mouth. Rather it be because of unfulfilled high expectations, expected low expectations or an accidental pile of crap you watched at 2:30 am, 'cause nothing else on TV. Here you can tear it apart.

As usual, I'll start:

The Blair Witch project

I'm sorry beforehand; I know the movie had a low budget and no high profile actors. But for a movie that holds an 86 % on RT, what the fuck... I don't care if it spawned an entire genre (which I can say has a general 86 % chance of sucking atleast), it's a painful boring movie.

I was never scared in this movie. The "actors" gave me a headache with their unconvincing rabble. Worse, Rev told me while I watched it, that he had lived close to the where they filmed it; according to him, it is literally impossible for 3 adults to get lost there.

I had more fun watching a no budget Slenderman documentary on Youtube than this; and I think Slenderman is among stupidest urban myths out there.

Oh yeah, I know it has a sequel. I found that movie funny because atleast it was aware it was shit.

The thing I most remember about Blair Witch, people thought it was REAL!

I haven't thought about slenderman in years!

I'm known to watch any crappy disaster movie (usually complete with poorly rendered....well, everything).

I love the ones about the whole axial shift, or earthquakes that destroy New York or the immediate ice age stuff caused of course by fracking or other nonsense.

Recently, I tried to watch Cowboys verses dinosaurs (something like that). Omg the acting was sooo terrible, it was like porn without the sex.

i take it you're a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan?
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28-04-2016, 10:54 AM
RE: Movie rant thread
San Andreas.

What a piece of shit.

....

Since when does a Vietnam era Huey have a fucking "hover" button???

And -- if it DID have one -- why the fuck would they need 4 crew members as in the first scene?????

......

I actually saw this sorry piece of shit in the theater... The CG special effects weren't worth the effort.

I want my money back.....

.......................................

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28-04-2016, 11:19 AM
RE: Movie rant thread
(28-04-2016 10:53 AM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  
(28-04-2016 09:43 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  The thing I most remember about Blair Witch, people thought it was REAL!

I haven't thought about slenderman in years!

I'm known to watch any crappy disaster movie (usually complete with poorly rendered....well, everything).

I love the ones about the whole axial shift, or earthquakes that destroy New York or the immediate ice age stuff caused of course by fracking or other nonsense.

Recently, I tried to watch Cowboys verses dinosaurs (something like that). Omg the acting was sooo terrible, it was like porn without the sex.

i take it you're a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan?

My commentary is more amusing. Plus it's not interrupted by some weird storyline or commercials.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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28-04-2016, 03:52 PM
RE: Movie rant thread
The Aurora Encounter
Perhaps the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It was a movie made for a kid with progeria. I know it was made because of his wish through Make a Wish Foundation, but it was still a a bad movie overall.

Joe's Apartment
Full price for a movie that wasn't even an hour long. I stupidly thought they would've added more than the shorts they had already shown on TV. Nope.

Anything with Madea
My mother insists I take her to see them. They have funny lines, but that's it.

Fight Club
I saw it after I learned the truth behind Tyler Durden. I just didn't like it. I know it's almost sacrilege to say that, but I did understand the movie. Just didn't like it.
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29-04-2016, 09:41 PM
RE: Movie rant thread
I've seen no new movies that made me go "wooo!" since Man of Steel.
Nothing but average. What's an outstanding movie that's worth a watch that I haven't seen before?

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29-04-2016, 09:43 PM (This post was last modified: 29-04-2016 09:46 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Movie rant thread
(29-04-2016 09:41 PM)earmuffs Wrote:  I've seen no new movies that made me go "wooo!" since Man of Steel.
Nothing but average. What's an outstanding movie that's worth a watch that I haven't seen before?

A Clockwork Orange?
Eraserhead?
Pink Flamingos?
Blue Velvet?

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29-04-2016, 09:48 PM
RE: Movie rant thread
2001 Space Odyssey

horrible, boring, convoluted, monotonous... did I say boring... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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29-04-2016, 10:03 PM
RE: Movie rant thread
(28-04-2016 09:43 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  I'm known to watch any crappy disaster movie (usually complete with poorly rendered....well, everything).


Why watch crappy disaster movies? Consider

Roland Emmerich hasn't died yet. Big Grin


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