Moving Away from Home
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01-01-2017, 06:51 PM
Moving Away from Home
Hello friends, and happy new year!

Once again I come here to ramble as a way to vent and in hopes that someone will write back that magical combination of words that will bring a dose of relief.

It is unlikely anyone will remember, but recently I moved away from the only home I've ever known to initiate my journey into adulthood at 26 yrs old. Before that, I had just graduated college and had landed a part-time job related to my field of study that, while fulfilling, didn't provide enough money for me to make it on my own. In addition to that, it wasn't going to last much longer due to a number of factors outside of my control. I was growing tired of the routines and my surroundings, and I decided that the only way forward was to find another job and move.

The change was drastic, to say the least, but helped by the fact that I moved with my best friend to Colorado, a much drier and colder place than the tropics, and was waiting confirmation to start my new 10 to 12 hour a day job. The first days were great. My friend had a few days off, so we went on a trip to an amazing natural park, and did other fun things.

Occasionally I'd feel homesick, specially just after waking up, but nothing that wouldn't go away after a few hours. It would only deteriorate from there.

After weeks of working non-stop and getting only one day off, my stress levels have reached heights never before felt. During the week, I look forward to Sundays (my only day off), and then when Sunday comes, every hour that goes by I feel worse and worse, as the night approaches and another LONG week of work looms in the horizon. That's all I think about, which keeps me from enjoying my day. My mood goes up and down again and again. One minute I manage to feel better, and the next, I feel hopeless. It is as if I have nothing to be happy about or look forward to. I cant enjoy the things I used to enjoy because I don't have the time. On my days off, I have to choose sleep over doing something, and I'm never satisfied. It's an endless cycle of disappointment and unfulfilled expectations.

I know what some are thinking "WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD!" and that is fair. Back home I had all the time in the world to relax, watch YouTube videos, listen to The Thinking Atheist, work out, read books, write and just do absolutely nothing for as long as I wanted to...but I felt empty. I felt unfulfilled, dissatisfied, incomplete. Every year that went by felt like the same. New Year's eve was spent at the same place with the same people (something I missed as I worked 10 of the last 24 hours of 2016). I felt stuck.

I thought I'd be happy to have a job with good pay and benefits, but it sucks the life out of you. I keep thinking of quitting and getting a job somewhere else that allows me more time for myself, but the prospect is scary. What if I end up in an even WORSE place? What if I don't land another job? What if I regret that decision for the rest of my life? It's tough to walk away from a job you can build a life on or at least a well-fed bank account.

I keep wondering when am I going to get to 'my happy place.' When will I be comfortable with who and where I am. When will I be surrounded by people who love me and appreciate me for who I am. When will I find the right balance. When will I be at peace?

Every year I've started figuring it would end much the same way the last ended, but this time I just don't know. I'm surrounded by uncertainty and negative thoughts, and I wish I could just revert everything to the way it was, but it's too late for that.

What can I do to get through this? Sadcryface2
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03-01-2017, 09:05 PM
RE: Moving Away from Home
It is not very common that people like or even enjoy their jobs so don't rely that one day you will get the perfect job because it is unlikely that you will.

That out of the way, I don't know where you are from but there are surely some employee laws that regulate how many hours per week you work max or at least how many days off you have to get. Because one day off per week when you do 10-12 hours a day seems really rough.
Generally, if it really is bad - and only you can judge how bad it is - you should probably look around for another job that puts less stress on you. The good thing is that you have time, because you are employed, so you can pick and choose and look around.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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04-01-2017, 11:18 AM
RE: Moving Away from Home
The trouble with really great jobs is that the people doing them like them and aren't too keen on moving on, and competition when there is an opening can be tough.

You said you're on good money, and that you don't get a lot of time off...so you're probably saving a fair bit? Take some time to figure out what job you really want, and who you want to work for. Then work out what you need to do to put yourself in the best possible position to get that, be it being able to move to a more expensive place, further qualifications, or being able to afford to take a lower position and work up to the one you really want. Finally, work out how long you would need to stick at your current job to be able to save enough to make it happen.

If you look at your current job as the means of getting to where you really want to be, with a finite period, it should be easier to get through it, counting down to when you are able to change rather than thinking...this is it, forever.

And sticking it out for as long as you can won't hurt your future employment prospects either.

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04-01-2017, 11:36 AM
RE: Moving Away from Home
Give yourself more time to adjust to all of the changes you've gone through recently would be my advice. Remember that even positive changes are stressful. If you've moved away from home there's a bit of homesickness involved, plus getting used to the energy requirements of a full-time job, having to deal with your own bills, clean up after yourself, etc.

I wouldn't be surprised if, six months down the road, you are feeling much better, even if nothing much has changed.

(And, after some more time, if you're still really drained from your work requirements, but your employer is satisfied with your work, maybe you can negotiate fewer hours.)

Best of luck as you adjust to being on your own--it is a big change, for sure.
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04-01-2017, 02:59 PM
RE: Moving Away from Home
Can I ask what your field is that 6-day weeks with 10-12 hour days is the standard? Is that just what the position requires or is it an hourly thing where the more you work the more you make?
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05-01-2017, 05:40 AM
RE: Moving Away from Home
(01-01-2017 06:51 PM)IgniteThought Wrote:  I keep wondering when am I going to get to 'my happy place.' When will I be comfortable with who and where I am. When will I be surrounded by people who love me and appreciate me for who I am. When will I find the right balance. When will I be at peace?

Every year I've started figuring it would end much the same way the last ended, but this time I just don't know. I'm surrounded by uncertainty and negative thoughts, and I wish I could just revert everything to the way it was, but it's too late for that.

Okay, mate here's what I've managed to pick up after 44 years on my own and having dealt with people and situations.

It's the same for everyone. What you mention above, mate people such as Stendhal wrote about this stuff. Ovid got banished for being crude about it and Musashi hid in a cave for years looking for the answers to the human condition.

As far as I'm aware, nobody has found it. Least of all me.

What you feel above looks pretty normal, but I no longer look at things normally.

If in doubt see a Dr. Otherwise just chill mate. Seriously, just relax.
Fuck it.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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05-01-2017, 09:39 AM
RE: Moving Away from Home
I know this feeling all to well. Just remember you need to work to live, not live to work.

That being said the perfect job is almost impossible to come by. All you can do is put your best foot forward every day and work towards things that make you happy. Perhaps it is time to find a new hobby or interest outside of work that will help keep you grounded so you don't lose perspective on things. Also, what do your co-workers say? Is this normal? Perhaps this is a "busy" time of year and in a couple months things will slow down a bit.
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05-01-2017, 11:17 AM
RE: Moving Away from Home
Build up that bank account, try to find something enjoyable at work, chill at home. Smoke some weed in the eve before bed unless your job tests for it.

You need to chill and sit back and scope things out for the future while you build a bank account. It's an important stepping stone.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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05-01-2017, 01:41 PM
RE: Moving Away from Home
I would give it more time because the job you have now has good pay and benefits, and yes, you may get used to it down the road or better yet, become content. But in the event you're still unhappy, I'd definitely go job hunting. Your happiness is important, and if you're okay with the possibility of not earning as much money, then by all means.

If you do find something you like, remember to leave your old job on good terms. That way, if your new job doesn't work out for whatever reason, you can always ask your manager if you can come back. I actually had to do that once.

Good luck!
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05-01-2017, 01:54 PM
RE: Moving Away from Home
(01-01-2017 06:51 PM)IgniteThought Wrote:  What can I do to get through this? Sadcryface2

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There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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