Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
28-04-2014, 04:38 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
(28-04-2014 03:37 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  How far does hairspray and a lighter shoot?




#sigh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes GirlyMan's post
28-04-2014, 04:48 PM (This post was last modified: 28-04-2014 04:54 PM by Momsurroundedbyboys.)
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
(28-04-2014 06:45 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  Mr. Woodpecker that lives in my yard, I would like to show you something.

This is called "siding".

[Image: stock-vector-white-wood-vector-texture-166570730.jpg]

Yes, I know, it looks like wood, but it is not. See, we humans like to develop stronger materials to use in construction while retaining the aesthetic look of wood.

If you haven't noticed, when you peck the living piss out of the side of my house it doesn't make the same sound as say... an oak. That ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding sound that you're hearing is because you're pecking metal.

This siding will not bear the bugs you are searching for. So, when you're trying to find your breakfast, please remember this. Also, please remember that just because you like an early breakfast, the inhabitants of the house you're pecking do not.

Thank you for your time.

-Jeremy

That would work if they're pecking the siding for the wood. Nope, my guess he's pecking the siding because he likes the sound and hopes he'll find a mate -- since the sound is different...yanno the female will think he's an unusual pecker.

Says the person who's regularly woken at 5am by those banes of existence and lives on the edge of a forest, because the little peckers are drilling on the gutter.

I hate those little fuckers.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Momsurroundedbyboys's post
28-04-2014, 05:36 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
(28-04-2014 04:33 PM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 03:37 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  How far does hairspray and a lighter shoot?

3-5 feet, or so I've heard.

that's about right. got to have a really powerful spray. aquanet was really good at making a blowtorch.

Angel


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bows and Arrows's post
28-04-2014, 06:12 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
What the actual fuck? No need for killing the woodpecker. He'll go away soon.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-04-2014, 06:21 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
Do hawks eat woodpeckers? If so, you could get you a new pet Tongue

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-04-2014, 06:27 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
let the kids squirt it with the hose.

I still remember when my dad gave me a really long stick when I was about 5 years old, told me to tap it on the ground near the tail of a black snake that he found. I had a great time chasing that snake all day. Rolleyes well, till Mom asked what I was doing 3hours later. She almost fainted when I said "chasing a snake". game over. Undecided


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bows and Arrows's post
28-04-2014, 06:57 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
Why don't we just fucking rip it's head off and be done with it?

You aren't the only one who's had this problem http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Woodpeckers

How to Deter Woodpeckers

There are more than a few factors that attract woodpeckers to a structure. Woodpeckers peck to attract mates, establish territory, find food, and excavate nesting cavities.

Habitat modification

Block woodpeckers from getting at your siding with Bird Netting. Bird Netting is used as a physical barrier to block access and can be installed temporarily.
Remove dead or dying trees from your property. These make for excellent woodpecker nests and give them a starting point for attacking your house.
If woodpeckers are attempting to create a nest in your siding, adding a woodpecker nesting box may give them an alternative to drilling a hole in your home.

Remove any food source

By making sure your home is free of insects such as termites you lessen the chances the woodpecker will choose your home as a food source.

Scare Tactics

Visual deterrents such as balloons, diverters or shiny reflective objects can be hung in front of areas where pecking has occurred to scare the birds from returning.
Sound deterrents alert woodpeckers of nearby danger by broadcasting predator calls and woodpecker distress calls which will make them want to flee the area.

Humane Removal / Professional Installer

If you don’t have the time, resources or expertise to solve your bird problem, there are wildlife and pest control companies that offer bird control as a service.
These professionals can install bird control products and offer other services such as clean-up and humane trap and removal.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-04-2014, 07:17 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
Hello, hello...is this thing on? Confused

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Anjele's post
28-04-2014, 08:33 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
(28-04-2014 02:35 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(28-04-2014 02:17 PM)Taqiyya Mockingbird Wrote:  BTW IIRC woodpeckers are protected. You can't just go shooting any ol' bird.

Nah, as long as you yell, "It's coming straight for me!" it's okay to shoot it.

In Loooziana, "He NEEDED killin' " is a viable defense...




But you COULD go out into the woods and find yourself a nice grub-filled log, drag it back home and stand it up near where the little guy is knocking on your house beggin' for handouts.

THEN you could take all the pictures you want of it, post a bunch here, and enjoy not having to endure DNC whining endlessly about you wanting to shoot it, which is a worse noise than having a woodpecker banging on your siding.

It's Special Pleadings all the way down!


Magic Talking Snakes STFU -- revenantx77


You can't have your special pleading and eat it too. -- WillHop
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
28-04-2014, 08:44 PM
RE: Mr. Woodpecker, c'mere, please. I need to show you something.
Owls and snakes scare woodpeckers. We've tried both. Didn't help.

Eventually they get used to seeing it and learn to ignore.

The best thing we did was hit them with a super soaker...but it's probably more than one, so we had to keep doing it.

Eventually I pulled a screen off the window and started getting them for that angle. Eventually, we just gave up.

It's funny tho, the dog will wake me up or lick my hand because he feels I should be doing something.

We know they're not looking for food by pecking on the outside of the gutter (the big black ones with the red tops dent it -- the smaller ones don't). They just want to get laid.

They "tattoo" the trees all around here. When they nest they drill out bigger holes for their nests. After they leave, squirrels move into them.

I don't care what they do to the trees. I don't even care if they drill the drains or gutters. I just don't want to hear it at 5 am.

They'll move along in a few months.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: