My Aunt died.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
18-03-2013, 08:30 PM (This post was last modified: 18-03-2013 08:35 PM by fstratzero.)
My Aunt died.
So a last month feb 2013, my aunt fell down and broke her leg. The fracture was really bad and they had to put screws in her leg. She had a terrible infection, and her condition became unstable. They said she'd have a 10% chance of survival if they amputated her leg. For a couple of days she seemed to stabilize, then she succumbed to her illness.

I dealt with the loss pretty well. Understanding that there is no afterlife, and she probably had some bad genetic inheritance(she had random bouts of illness all her life) made the coping process a lot easier than I expected.

However I avoided the funeral because I knew the god talk would annoy me. Later on my highly religious family posted this mind excretion.

Quote:Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26

My mom believed this. Do you?

This was really annoying. I do respect them, but using her death to as an appeal to emotion really irked me. No I don't believe, and this is offensive.

She died and we remembered her, but please don't use her to recruit people to belief.

Anyways I wanted to share that bit of frustration. I know that person probably thought it was inspirational, but I think a better honor to her memory would be our memories of her. Not some random biblical babble.

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like fstratzero's post
18-03-2013, 08:37 PM
RE: My Aunt died.
I'm sorry for your loss, Fstrat. Hug

I don't know your family, but do know the behavior. Some use it to network out amongst their religious peers. Others will use these type of posts to gather awareness of the bible.

For what it's worth, your reaction is healthy and you seem to be dealing with it pretty well.

[Image: 3d366d5c-72a0-4228-b835-f404c2970188_zps...1381867723]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes cheapthrillseaker's post
18-03-2013, 08:39 PM
RE: My Aunt died.
Sympathy to you sir.

Death is surely an odd one.

We want to scream at them and yet we realise that the believers (indeed all of us, sometimes) are in need of escapism from the dark humour of death.

Perhaps it is best to see the message in these terms rather than as a recruitment drive.

The obvious answer is...
No I don't but whatever makes you feel better...

Of course, we bite our tongues and resist the temptation to express even this obvious thought.

We are only apes after all.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like DLJ's post
18-03-2013, 08:39 PM
RE: My Aunt died.
Sending hugs...

In situations like these, I really prefer to take the high road snd just deflect

The sun rises in the West and the bird shits on the coffeetable.


Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Momsurroundedbyboys's post
18-03-2013, 09:15 PM
RE: My Aunt died.
I am sorry for the loss...sounds like the whole thing was a real mess.

I also tend to not respond to the religious platitudes, some people need it to get through a rough time. It's offensive, but now is not the time to try to sway anyone. Grief is at the forefront now.

Hoping you find some comfort.

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-03-2013, 09:19 PM
RE: My Aunt died.
Personally, I wouldn't let this go by without addressing it (assuming they know you're an atheist). There's no need to be rude but there's also no need to be badgered. That is disrespectful to you.

I would answer a simple "No, I do not believe that."

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes bbeljefe's post
18-03-2013, 09:23 PM
RE: My Aunt died.
(18-03-2013 08:39 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Sending hugs...

In situations like these, I really prefer to take the high road snd just deflect
The part that I did like upon reflection is related to religion.

I didn't have to worry about her going to heaven/hell or the question what if god doesn't exist? Nor did I have to think about her being called by god, or being punished by him as a reason for her death.

I had no anxieties or worries about her after she died at all. That really helped me focus on grieving, and remembering her.

It was actually easier just seeing her as momentary participant in the human species, who now is ultimately going to be recycled. Either in the crust, or by the plants and organism that will break her down and return her to the carbon cycle.

Thanks for the good intentions!

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes fstratzero's post
19-03-2013, 08:53 PM
RE: My Aunt died.
You have my condolences fstratzero.
I understand what you are going through since my family put me through something similar when my grandmother died. Using an emotional time to recruit, as you say, is annoying and insensitive. I ended up ignoring them for a while until they dropped the subject even though what really wanted to do was drop a bible on their heads.

"Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.” ~ Ambrose Bierce
“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." - Mark Twain in Eruption
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
20-03-2013, 11:13 PM (This post was last modified: 20-03-2013 11:18 PM by cbb2274.)
RE: My Aunt died.
My grandmother died a couple years ago. She was 90 years old and suffered a slow and painful death by renal failure. It was very difficult to watch. My father is the "mama's boy" of her seven children and he cried like a baby at the funeral. I thought, while we were waiting for to die in hospice care, that I would like to find an easier way to die if I were ever in her position, but I don't know how my family would feel about it.

I remember all the talk about how she's in a better place. She's not. She simply *isn't* anymore. She spent her last few hours in agony that could have been avoided with physician-assisted suicide, but I nonetheless admired her courage. She was devout, but she never once brought it up with me and she wouldn't stand for talk about politics and religion at the dinner table.

Funerals are difficult for me. It's difficult to find a way to offer condolences when such language is so heavily-influenced by religion. Religious people have "she's with God now" and "she's in a better place". All I have are impersonal cliches like "I'm sorry for your loss."
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes cbb2274's post
21-03-2013, 07:08 AM
RE: My Aunt died.
(20-03-2013 11:13 PM)cbb2274 Wrote:  All I have are impersonal cliches like "I'm sorry for your loss."
That's far more personal than telling someone their loved one is with a fiction. It's you sharing an emotional connection with them. After all, they're also sorry for their loss.

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: