My Big Ole Ugly Backstory
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26-06-2015, 01:03 PM
RE: My Big Ole Ugly Backstory
May you grab hold of the life around you. May you love deeply and live fully. If all else fails, look me up and I'll buy you a beer and we will go to the park and poison the pigeons together.

I just wanted to let you know that I love you even though you aren't naked right now. Heart
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01-07-2015, 10:00 AM
RE: My Big Ole Ugly Backstory
Oh... so many hugs to try to send through this too-tiny keyboard, Chick!

I can't imagine the loss of a child, or the abuse you have suffered. (And I have been through quite a bit of hell-on-earth, myself.) But know that any one of us here will gladly help you in any way we are able.

I am especially glad to hear that you found a kind-hearted heathen to marry. Like you, I know how freeing it can feel to finally see the world without religious blinders on; a corollary to that is that, though, is you can see clearly how horrible the things religion does to poison peoples' minds are, and the damage it does. That can be terribly depressing... I know it is for me, anyway.

Seriously, I hope you keep coming here to get any extra support you need, and to see that you're not the one who is the problem, or who has a problem. Remember what Heinlein once said, "If 'everybody knows' such-and-such, then it just ain't so, by about ten thousand to one."

Hope you find the strength you need, and that we can lend you some if there's any shortfall.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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01-07-2015, 10:39 AM
RE: My Big Ole Ugly Backstory


I'm so sorry for your pain. Oh, dear girl, it's a heartbreaking story.

I've had two brothers die and both my parents aren't are dead. Somehow it's different with a child though.

My only suggestion, and I admit it's very, very lame, is that I think of their death not as death but simply as their non existence. However, their lives were carved into the synapses of my brain and electrically in my mind. They exist there. I tell my own children stories of my mother and father's lives so I'm physically, in small ways, carving my parents into my childrens brain, like an artist carves into marble.



Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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01-07-2015, 11:00 AM
RE: My Big Ole Ugly Backstory
(19-06-2015 09:34 AM)ThatAtheistChick Wrote:  Having said that, it has been over four years and it feels like I will never stop grieving. I really don't want to be one of those people that is never the same and I feel powerless to stop it. I have always been a weeble. I wobble but I don't fall down. I got up after the abuse. I got up after I was diagnosed with my autoimmune disease. I just can't seem to get up from this one. I am afraid that I am down for the count this time. And that terrifies me. And after what happened with my church, I don't break in front of people anymore. Which is why I am using an assumed name to pour my heart out to total strangers online.

Grief sucks, it's really a strange thing because you just can't control it. The more you try, the harder it hits when it breaks lose.

Grief is physical first and foremost. You cry because crying releases calming compounds in your brain. Your body taps this whenever it needs it, and you have no say-so over it.

Just flow with it, and don't worry about what you or others think you should be feeling, or how fast you should be healing. It's going to run it's course. It will ease up gradually. There will be the day when you realize you had not felt grief or thought about him for an entire day. You will heal. You will never "get over it" - but you won't be suffering all the time either.

Meanwhile - just let yourself be. Every time you cry you are one step closer to achieving some normalcy. Plus - with your background of abuse, you may just be shaking off some of that bundled in with your grief. Embrace it, it will help you. Heart

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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