My Christmas day experience
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02-01-2015, 11:29 AM
RE: My Christmas day experience
(29-12-2014 07:51 PM)photon9 Wrote:  My Dad's side is pretty damn religious and I actually kinds like praying at the holidays because everyone religious closes their eyes and all the non-religious keep their eyes open and give each other knowing glances/smiles/smirks!

My nutty sister always sneaks something into her mouth, (usually mashed potatoes ... if they're on the table, or puts beans in her nose), and exactly at this time she opens her mouth, or uncovers her nose and smiles at me to try to make me laugh ...and get me in trouble, and makes the potatoes "extrude" from her teeth). I try not to look at her ... or I always burst out laughing.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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02-01-2015, 02:05 PM
RE: My Christmas day experience
(02-01-2015 11:12 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(29-12-2014 02:45 PM)MrKrispy601 Wrote:  So this was my first Christmas I've celebrated in the last 4 years due to military reason and I was somewhat skeptical. I tried to be happy and festive due to it being my first holiday season as a married man(my wife is super into winter holidays). So our plan for this year was to spend it at my in-laws who are seriously religious. They have never really got in my face or anything so I was ok with this.

So most of the day was fine but then the dinner prayer was about to start. I felt it would be in my best interest as well as respectful to just sit it out and be in another room. My in-laws thought differently. So they call after me and I come into the dining room where they are doing the whole circle jerk prayer bs and gesture for me to join in. I politely say oh I'd rather sit this out to which the room gets quiet. My father in law says " You don't have a choice" Undecided. So I look at my wife who has not came out to her parents that she doesn't believe(which I back fully seeing as they would ramp up the bible pushing if they found out) and she is gesturing for me to join on one in and my mother in law on the other. My mother in law just looks at me and says "Please join us". So in order to keep the peace I joined hands but didn't bow. This severely upset me because I felt as though I'd just been bent over and felt the wrath of Jesus.

So I just went to the basement to avoid everyone because I was pretty furious by all of this and I was trying to keep the peace for the wife. Then all of a sudden my phone rings. It's my dad. I pickup and in the spirit of being festive I say Merry Christmas. He then proceeds to say "How can you even celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?". I hang up. At this point I was ready to just explode. I proceed to find the Mrs and let her know it is time to go.

Fast forward to that evening.

I get a text from my dad saying that he was just joking. I don't believe this for one minute seeing as we have had a talk about boundaries numerous times and he keeps crossing them. My mother calls me and says that I was disrespectful to which I respond that no matter what the relationship is respect is to be had by both sides and he forfeited that after countless jabs. My sister has also jumped on the bandwagon and says that I'm being disrespectful and mean while also not acknowledging that he called ME and disrespected ME after countless warnings to not bring up religion. Not only that but right after I was trying to be festive and cheerful towards him. Now I'm the bad guy. What. The. Fuck.

So me and the wife have talked a bit and I'm on the verge of seriously cutting them off and before you say I'm jumping to conclusion a little more back story.

I have been in the military for 4 years now. During this time I have received 0 birthdays gifts(not even a damn card) 0 Christmas gifts(not even a card), and 0 wedding gifts(not even a card). Now I wouldn't care about this at all because I don't like gifts anyway but the thing is the always ask me for gifts EVERY holiday. To be honest it's more of a command. Then every time I come to visit I have to spend countless dollars on things when I'm the guest. It's always someone needs money every time I'm around or on the phone.

Anyway I just wanted to vent a little and since I haven't posted on here in ages I figured why not. Apologies for the length.

WOW. I have similar problems. I had an argument with my sister and we ended it by agreeing that we will not talk about certain things (religion being one of those things). We made it abundantly clear that we would avoid these topics. The very next time we're alone together, she brings up something about atheism. Not in a argumentative way, but she's looking for trouble!

I'm also in the process of cutting family out. I understand where you're coming from. I'm convinced that at least 1, maybe even 2, people in my family have a personality disorder. It's impossible to have a normal relationship with people like this. They aren't just "difficult".

Yeah I've gotten to the point where I know when me and my wife have our kid(s) we're going to have to cut off a lot of family because we won't be raising them in the church nor with the atheist perspective. Mainly because they are ummmm kids. No need for them to make decision like that as a young kid. They should just enjoy being a kid not scaring them to death about some fairy tales.
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02-01-2015, 02:14 PM
RE: My Christmas day experience
(29-12-2014 07:51 PM)photon9 Wrote:  My Dad's side is pretty damn religious and I actually kinds like praying at the holidays because everyone religious closes their eyes and all the non-religious keep their eyes open and give each other knowing glances/smiles/smirks!

My big kind of thing with this which makes me laugh is why would they even want a heathen atheist to be in their prayer circle? Seems like it makes it less "holy" right? Undecided
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04-01-2015, 08:17 PM
RE: My Christmas day experience
You take orders in the military. You're paid to do so. Why are you taking orders from the wife's family? When someone tries to hit you up for money or a gift, tell the person you're broke and was hoping he/she could help you out. That seems to make them move on.
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10-01-2015, 10:50 AM (This post was last modified: 10-01-2015 11:00 AM by Toney.)
RE: My Christmas day experience
We don't celebrate christmas at all. The wife started a new years party every year with family to replace it. We exchange gifts, eat, talk and laugh then. Wife sends out a new years letter every year to friends and family. We don't miss any of the christmas shit. Sending out christmas cards. Buying gifts for people you don't even like. Three hundred miles fighting the snow covered roads, just to get to moms house. Opening gifts from someone and seeing (by those gifts) that they don't know anything about us at all. Watching the weather reports (praying LOL) for more snow so that we can race home and recover. One year mom found the store Odd Lots. Man we got some good shit that year! I think we kept one dish to use as a dogs bowl. The rest got ditched.

Sometimes we go see the "christmas miracle", Walmart closed, but other than that we don't do Xmas. We don't listen to christmas music and when someone says "merry christmas" I say "I don't celibate". If they ask why, I politely say that I'm atheist and I don't believe in any gods. I'm really not ashamed of that. Actually kind of proud. If they have a problem with it, then it's their problem, not mine. If they want to talk about it then I'll do so. It's their faith at risk not mine and I'll destroy it if they stick around long enough to talk. And if they're family then so be it. I don't care to "keep the peace". Their religion is not a peaceful one anyway and it's really time they thought about things anyway. If I have my choice I'd rather not be around religious people. Personally I look down upon them as not being mentally stable. Washed in the blood and all that shit. I'd rather be around reasonable people. Just because they're family doesn't cut it. Just means we're related and I'm related to everyone even Chimps. Just a little farther back.
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11-01-2015, 09:10 AM
RE: My Christmas day experience
(10-01-2015 10:50 AM)Toney Wrote:  We don't celebrate christmas at all. The wife started a new years party every year with family to replace it. We exchange gifts, eat, talk and laugh then. Wife sends out a new years letter every year to friends and family. We don't miss any of the christmas shit. Sending out christmas cards. Buying gifts for people you don't even like. Three hundred miles fighting the snow covered roads, just to get to moms house. Opening gifts from someone and seeing (by those gifts) that they don't know anything about us at all. Watching the weather reports (praying LOL) for more snow so that we can race home and recover. One year mom found the store Odd Lots. Man we got some good shit that year! I think we kept one dish to use as a dogs bowl. The rest got ditched.

Sometimes we go see the "christmas miracle", Walmart closed, but other than that we don't do Xmas. We don't listen to christmas music and when someone says "merry christmas" I say "I don't celibate". If they ask why, I politely say that I'm atheist and I don't believe in any gods. I'm really not ashamed of that. Actually kind of proud. If they have a problem with it, then it's their problem, not mine. If they want to talk about it then I'll do so. It's their faith at risk not mine and I'll destroy it if they stick around long enough to talk. And if they're family then so be it. I don't care to "keep the peace". Their religion is not a peaceful one anyway and it's really time they thought about things anyway. If I have my choice I'd rather not be around religious people. Personally I look down upon them as not being mentally stable. Washed in the blood and all that shit. I'd rather be around reasonable people. Just because they're family doesn't cut it. Just means we're related and I'm related to everyone even Chimps. Just a little farther back.

I've kind of come to the conclusion that family doesn't necessarily mean that I have to keep in touch or anything. I also have went from being so standoff-ish and not mention it to not giving a crap anymore. After this christmas I do not care to keep the peace anymore either.
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11-01-2015, 05:58 PM
RE: My Christmas day experience
(11-01-2015 09:10 AM)MrKrispy601 Wrote:  
(10-01-2015 10:50 AM)Toney Wrote:  We don't celebrate christmas at all. The wife started a new years party every year with family to replace it. We exchange gifts, eat, talk and laugh then. Wife sends out a new years letter every year to friends and family. We don't miss any of the christmas shit. Sending out christmas cards. Buying gifts for people you don't even like. Three hundred miles fighting the snow covered roads, just to get to moms house. Opening gifts from someone and seeing (by those gifts) that they don't know anything about us at all. Watching the weather reports (praying LOL) for more snow so that we can race home and recover. One year mom found the store Odd Lots. Man we got some good shit that year! I think we kept one dish to use as a dogs bowl. The rest got ditched.

Sometimes we go see the "christmas miracle", Walmart closed, but other than that we don't do Xmas. We don't listen to christmas music and when someone says "merry christmas" I say "I don't celibate". If they ask why, I politely say that I'm atheist and I don't believe in any gods. I'm really not ashamed of that. Actually kind of proud. If they have a problem with it, then it's their problem, not mine. If they want to talk about it then I'll do so. It's their faith at risk not mine and I'll destroy it if they stick around long enough to talk. And if they're family then so be it. I don't care to "keep the peace". Their religion is not a peaceful one anyway and it's really time they thought about things anyway. If I have my choice I'd rather not be around religious people. Personally I look down upon them as not being mentally stable. Washed in the blood and all that shit. I'd rather be around reasonable people. Just because they're family doesn't cut it. Just means we're related and I'm related to everyone even Chimps. Just a little farther back.

I've kind of come to the conclusion that family doesn't necessarily mean that I have to keep in touch or anything. I also have went from being so standoff-ish and not mention it to not giving a crap anymore. After this christmas I do not care to keep the peace anymore either.

Something I've been through and shared with someone on another thread...

There are asshioles in the world. If we're lucky, they are not family members, but in many cases, probability dictates that some of those assholes have parents, siblings or children who are normal people.

Like you.

If you have such parents/siblings, sure they hold a special place in your emotional life, but that does not make them any less assholes. Luckily, that doesn't mean they are exempt from being treated with caution, just like any other asshole.

One of the biggest steps forward in my life was giving myself permission to call a relative an asshole. Did I love them less? No. But dealing with that truth allowed me to forgive myself for putting my real family - my wife and child - first.

You already know that's your duty, no?

"I don't mind being wrong...it's a time I get to learn something new..."
Me.
N.B: I routinely make edits to posts to correct grammar or spelling, or to restate a point more clearly. I only notify edits if they materially change meaning.
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