My Magical Prayer Rug
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02-05-2014, 10:46 AM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
(02-05-2014 10:32 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  
(02-05-2014 10:27 AM)Alex_Leonardo Wrote:  [Image: MdHY0bR.gif]

Sigh... I miss Futurama Sadcryface

That last episode SUCKED!

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02-05-2014, 10:47 AM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
(02-05-2014 10:46 AM)Alex_Leonardo Wrote:  
(02-05-2014 10:32 AM)Im_Ryan Wrote:  Sigh... I miss Futurama Sadcryface

That last episode SUCKED!

Meh...still love it

Atir aissom atir imon
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02-05-2014, 04:56 PM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
Eeeeewwww so creepy! Like a chain letter and a cult all rolled into one Confused

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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02-05-2014, 07:09 PM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
I dunno. Seems legit. Consider

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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02-05-2014, 08:28 PM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
I'd send it back, and in the 3 wishes/prayers section write...

1. Don't send me any more useless shit
2. Get a life
3. Don't bother me again

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02-05-2014, 08:42 PM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
(02-05-2014 10:10 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  
(02-05-2014 10:07 AM)Thinkerbelle Wrote:  I used to get these almost weekly.

Until I ripped up the precious prayer rug to tatters and mailed

Maybe I use my prestigious art skills to draw a battallion of dicks assaulting Jesus' face and mail it back?

Draw Jesus on the cross... Without the loin cloth.

With great, big, hairy bollocks...

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05-05-2014, 11:10 PM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
(02-05-2014 08:53 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  My life is forever changed. Yesterday, the Saint Matthews church finally realized the strife that I was dealing with, and gave me all the answers I ever needed.

I came home to find this glorious piece of mail in my mailbox.

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I was skeptical at first. I mean, how could god know what my problems were? I mean, the letter wasn't even addressed to me. Just to "Resident or Friend"

All of my questions were answered with the first piece of paper, though.

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Oh, well I'm glad they know my suffering! What's this about a prayer rug? OH, they must mean THIS:

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That's weird. It's literally made of tissue paper, but the letter claims this is the one true prayer rug, and it is literally soaked in holy power.

Oh, more instructions...

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Nuh... I have to mail this prayer rug back? Why? Sadcryface What if I wanted my prayers answered more than today? And only three spaces? I have more needs than that!

Alright, what's this about a red sealed envelope I can't open until I mail this shi- err, glorious literature back?

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OH, they must mean this. MY SEALED PROPHECY Blink Amazing. I've got goosebumps just thinking about it.

On the other side...

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Nuh Sad I don't want to burn my prophecy. I want to know what it is!

The inside flap of my prophecy (yeah I opened it, see you in Hell)

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I forgot to take a photo of the inside, but its basically your typical tract drivel.

God is the way, pray to him and be saved, if you died tonight where would you go, etc. etc.

I had no idea that was prophecy! I thought it was just religious bullshit. Now I know!

Here's the most important part though. The REAL reason for praying on this rug.

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Hey, that kind of money could come in handy. If god gave me that every time I prayed, I'd be on my knees ALOT more often.

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Whoa, according to this thing, my grandma could even DIE and I could get her house! All for sending my prayer rug back! Well my grandma is a devout Southern-Baptist, so that doesn't really seem fair to her, but hey, free house!

It makes me incredibly sad that this scam actually gets people. But the guy who runs it has made millions by having people send him money so god will answer their prayers.

I guess its just a stupidity tax, no? Laugh out load


Use their pre-paid envelope to mail back something heavy.





I'm pretty sure he got the exact same letter from the same scammers.

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05-05-2014, 11:23 PM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
Squirt a little Genesis 38:9 on it, before returning. If you are not struck down dead then it does not work as a conduit to god as advertised.

Theism is to believe what other people claim, Atheism is to ask "why should I".
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05-05-2014, 11:30 PM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
(02-05-2014 04:56 PM)Smercury44 Wrote:  Eeeeewwww so creepy! Like a chain letter and a cult all rolled into one Confused

When I got mine, I was thinking more of a pyramid scheme, but close enough.

I held on to mine for a few days trying to figure out what (if any) laws it violated.

Turns out there's a critical difference between this, versus a pyramid scheme or a chain letter:

It's not asking you to make copies and forward it to anyone.

((Well, not directly. I'm guessing they take some of the money you mail in and use it to pay for sending out more mailers.))

This is the important difference between this thing (which is legal... a scam, but a legal scam) and a chain letter or a pyramid scheme (which are not).

It's also a key difference between this thing and religion. THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO SPREAD THE GOOD WORD, SISTER! No, this is simply parasitically leaching off of existing sheep (which, to be honest, I won't shed any tears over) rather than cultivating sheep of their own.

This raises an interesting question. In what functional way is an evangelical religion distinct from a pyramid scheme or a chain letter?
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06-05-2014, 03:32 AM
RE: My Magical Prayer Rug
(02-05-2014 10:10 AM)Jasozz Wrote:  
(02-05-2014 10:07 AM)Thinkerbelle Wrote:  I used to get these almost weekly.

Until I ripped up the precious prayer rug to tatters and mailed it back in their pre-paid envelope.

Uh...... did I mention the nasty note?

Amazingly, my prayers were answered and I seem to have been removed from their mailing list. Big Grin

Maybe I use my prestigious art skills to draw a battallion of dicks assaulting Jesus' face and mail it back?

Draw that and post it so I can make it my phone background lol

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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