My Mormon boyfriend
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20-06-2014, 01:33 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
(20-06-2014 12:20 AM)pablo628 Wrote:  I thought we just shared a common ancestor with the other primates.

True and the dates keep changing concerning when our evolutionary line separated from the line that became the great apes. I always thought it was about 3 million years ago but I recently stumbled across research that says that the first bipedal "apes" showed up 21.6 million years ago. However, that seems crazy to me because "Lucy," [2.9 to 3.1 million years ago] was supposedly the first "ape" who traveled on two feet on the ground rather than in trees. The bipedal line is the one that became modern humans.

I find evolutionary biology very confusing. In a previous life, before I went to law school 43 years ago, I was a physicist. Physics is easy to understand; biology was invented several hundred years ago just to drive me fucking nuts. Big Grin Nevertheless, I have resigned myself to the fact that I am too stupid to grasp evolutionary biology and at 67 years old, I'm going to spend my time fishing and playing with my grandson rather than trying to learn evolutionary biology.

Elenambass, I wish you all the luck in the world trying to have a relationship with a Mormon. Atheists have done it before but it seems to take an extraordinary amount of effort. My first girlfriend when I was very young (16) was a Lutheran and I couldn't stand that. Mormons are generally more serious than Lutherans.
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20-06-2014, 02:56 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
(19-06-2014 11:42 PM)Stevil Wrote:  
(19-06-2014 10:24 PM)DemonicLemon Wrote:  The next time he says anything about monkeys in this context, tell him that it was apes we came from, not monkeys.
We didn't come from apes, we are smart and not so hairy apes.

You came from your parents
Your parents are apes.
You came from apes.

“You see… sometimes life gives you lemons. And when that happens… you need to find some spell that makes lemons explode, because lemons are terrible. I only ate them once and I can say with certainty they are the worst fruit. If life gave me lemons, I would view it as nothing short of a declaration of war."
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20-06-2014, 06:23 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
(19-06-2014 10:05 PM)Elenambass Wrote:  He was moving my car, my iphone was inside and my Bluetooth picked up latest show (the fossil show) I was listening to. He nearly had a heart attack when he heard about the Unholy Trinity Tour. Then he spent the rest of the day blasting me with questions such as "Do you really think you are coming from a monkey?" and "Aren't you concerned that you will burn in hell?"
I never mock his magic underwear beliefs and it was very annoying to hear him bitching about it for hours. He is not willing to hear any arguments so I tuned him out.
He is saying that the earth is 6,000 years old meanwhile he is burning fossil fuel in his not so fuel efficient car.
On the bright side, he is now looking to buying an EV after witnessing how much better gas mileage my car gets.
My dream is that we will move away from fossil fuel and legalize pot. So then we don't need to buy any more oil from Middle East and people don't need to get on other drugs. Then they can't have us by our balls because they can supply oil and drugs to the states because we don't need them anymore.

Elen, I hope you are gay because raising children with your boyfriend is not going to be conducive to the long term survival of our species. Or the rest of the species that share our little rock for that matter.

Save a life. Adopt a greyhound.

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20-06-2014, 06:41 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
Save time and dump him now.

We have enough youth. How about looking for the Fountain of Smart?
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20-06-2014, 06:55 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
Hey you guys I have something to say. Come closer. Closer. Good alright here I go


HUMANS ARE FUCKING MONKEYS! WANT TO KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE APES HAVE EVOLVED FROM CATARRHINI! LOOK UP AEGYPTOPITHECUS! IT IS PART OF THE FAMILY PROLIPITHECIDAE, WHICH IS A MEMBER OF CATARRHINI! I AM GETTING TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING HUMANS AREN'T MONKEYS WHEN WE ARE! BECAUSE APES ARE MONKEYS AND HUMANS ARE APES! I DON'T GET WHY WE CAN ACCEPT BEING PRIMATES, HELL EVEN BEING CHORDATES(which we are in fact a part of both), BOTH WHICH ENCOMPASS GROUPS WE DON'T BELONG TOO, BUT THEN WHEN IT COMES TO MONKEYS WHICH WE ARE CLOSER TO THE GROUP APES THAN ANY OTHER GROUP YET WE ARE NOT THOSE! WE MAY NOT BE THE OLD WORLD MONKEYS YOU SEE TODAY, BUT OUR GROUP, THE APES, EVOLVED FROM THEM, AND ALL APES, INCLUDING HUMANS, ARE MONKEYS! YOU NEVER EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GROW OUT OF YOUR EVOLUTIONARY ANCESTORY, EVER!! I AM UPSET ALL OF YOU GUYS SAID WE ARE NOT MONKEYS!


Unsure

I am going to go hide in a corner and beat my self with the belt for yelling but you get my point. K thanx bye. Bechased

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20-06-2014, 07:53 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
When he says crap like that again, ask him if he's got his magic underwear on. If not, tell him to put it on. Once he does, slap him as hard as you can and ask him why they didn't work.

The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
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20-06-2014, 08:26 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
Presumably the magic pants come off for... certain activities? Big Grin

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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20-06-2014, 10:14 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
(20-06-2014 06:55 AM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  Hey you guys I have something to say. Come closer. Closer. Good alright here I go


HUMANS ARE FUCKING MONKEYS! WANT TO KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE APES HAVE EVOLVED FROM CATARRHINI! LOOK UP AEGYPTOPITHECUS! IT IS PART OF THE FAMILY PROLIPITHECIDAE, WHICH IS A MEMBER OF CATARRHINI! I AM GETTING TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING HUMANS AREN'T MONKEYS WHEN WE ARE! BECAUSE APES ARE MONKEYS AND HUMANS ARE APES! I DON'T GET WHY WE CAN ACCEPT BEING PRIMATES, HELL EVEN BEING CHORDATES(which we are in fact a part of both), BOTH WHICH ENCOMPASS GROUPS WE DON'T BELONG TOO, BUT THEN WHEN IT COMES TO MONKEYS WHICH WE ARE CLOSER TO THE GROUP APES THAN ANY OTHER GROUP YET WE ARE NOT THOSE! WE MAY NOT BE THE OLD WORLD MONKEYS YOU SEE TODAY, BUT OUR GROUP, THE APES, EVOLVED FROM THEM, AND ALL APES, INCLUDING HUMANS, ARE MONKEYS! YOU NEVER EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GROW OUT OF YOUR EVOLUTIONARY ANCESTORY, EVER!! I AM UPSET ALL OF YOU GUYS SAID WE ARE NOT MONKEYS!


Unsure

I am going to go hide in a corner and beat my self with the belt for yelling but you get my point. K thanx bye. Bechased

So, a common ancestor then? Thumbsup
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20-06-2014, 10:20 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
(20-06-2014 10:14 AM)pablo628 Wrote:  
(20-06-2014 06:55 AM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  Hey you guys I have something to say. Come closer. Closer. Good alright here I go


HUMANS ARE FUCKING MONKEYS! WANT TO KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE APES HAVE EVOLVED FROM CATARRHINI! LOOK UP AEGYPTOPITHECUS! IT IS PART OF THE FAMILY PROLIPITHECIDAE, WHICH IS A MEMBER OF CATARRHINI! I AM GETTING TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING HUMANS AREN'T MONKEYS WHEN WE ARE! BECAUSE APES ARE MONKEYS AND HUMANS ARE APES! I DON'T GET WHY WE CAN ACCEPT BEING PRIMATES, HELL EVEN BEING CHORDATES(which we are in fact a part of both), BOTH WHICH ENCOMPASS GROUPS WE DON'T BELONG TOO, BUT THEN WHEN IT COMES TO MONKEYS WHICH WE ARE CLOSER TO THE GROUP APES THAN ANY OTHER GROUP YET WE ARE NOT THOSE! WE MAY NOT BE THE OLD WORLD MONKEYS YOU SEE TODAY, BUT OUR GROUP, THE APES, EVOLVED FROM THEM, AND ALL APES, INCLUDING HUMANS, ARE MONKEYS! YOU NEVER EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GROW OUT OF YOUR EVOLUTIONARY ANCESTORY, EVER!! I AM UPSET ALL OF YOU GUYS SAID WE ARE NOT MONKEYS!


Unsure

I am going to go hide in a corner and beat my self with the belt for yelling but you get my point. K thanx bye. Bechased

So, a common ancestor then? Thumbsup

Yes and no. Are we a common ancestor to vertebrates or are we vertebrates?

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20-06-2014, 10:44 AM
RE: My Mormon boyfriend
(20-06-2014 06:55 AM)ThePaleolithicFreethinker Wrote:  Hey you guys I have something to say. Come closer. Closer. Good alright here I go


HUMANS ARE FUCKING MONKEYS! WANT TO KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE APES HAVE EVOLVED FROM CATARRHINI! LOOK UP AEGYPTOPITHECUS! IT IS PART OF THE FAMILY PROLIPITHECIDAE, WHICH IS A MEMBER OF CATARRHINI! I AM GETTING TIRED OF PEOPLE SAYING HUMANS AREN'T MONKEYS WHEN WE ARE! BECAUSE APES ARE MONKEYS AND HUMANS ARE APES! I DON'T GET WHY WE CAN ACCEPT BEING PRIMATES, HELL EVEN BEING CHORDATES(which we are in fact a part of both), BOTH WHICH ENCOMPASS GROUPS WE DON'T BELONG TOO, BUT THEN WHEN IT COMES TO MONKEYS WHICH WE ARE CLOSER TO THE GROUP APES THAN ANY OTHER GROUP YET WE ARE NOT THOSE! WE MAY NOT BE THE OLD WORLD MONKEYS YOU SEE TODAY, BUT OUR GROUP, THE APES, EVOLVED FROM THEM, AND ALL APES, INCLUDING HUMANS, ARE MONKEYS! YOU NEVER EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GROW OUT OF YOUR EVOLUTIONARY ANCESTORY, EVER!! I AM UPSET ALL OF YOU GUYS SAID WE ARE NOT MONKEYS!


Ook?

Terry Pratchett reference
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