My Parents Are Splitting Up
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12-06-2013, 06:49 PM
My Parents Are Splitting Up
They told me today that they "No longer want to be a romantic couple", and that my dad might move to our second house soon.

Looking back I guess I kinda saw it coming, they'd stopped acting like a loving couple years ago,but it happened so slowly and subtly I barely noticed.

It wasn't really surprising, but it was shocking, if that makes any sense, there were no big fights, no passive aggressiveness, it was just kind of quietly agreed on.

I'm a bit upset, though probably not as much as I should be, and I think I'll do fine.

I Couldn't get them to admit it, but I have a sneaking suspicion they were simply waiting until I was old enough to were they thought it wouldn't effect me as badly (should I use affect or effect there?).

Anyway, I'm just posting to get this off my chest, and maybe see how other people in a similar situation handled it.

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12-06-2013, 06:59 PM (This post was last modified: 12-06-2013 07:02 PM by Chas.)
RE: My Parents Are Splitting Up
(12-06-2013 06:49 PM)TheLastEnemy Wrote:  They told me today that they "No longer want to be a romantic couple", and that my dad might move to our second house soon.

Looking back I guess I kinda saw it coming, they'd stopped acting like a loving couple years ago,but it happened so slowly and subtly I barely noticed.

It wasn't really surprising, but it was shocking, if that makes any sense, there were no big fights, no passive aggressiveness, it was just kind of quietly agreed on.

I'm a bit upset, though probably not as much as I should be, and I think I'll do fine.

I Couldn't get them to admit it, but I have a sneaking suspicion they were simply waiting until I was old enough to were they thought it wouldn't effect me as badly (should I use affect or effect there?).

Anyway, I'm just posting to get this off my chest, and maybe see how other people in a similar situation handled it.

Affect. (I was deeply affected. The effects included depression which changed my affect. So I effected a change in my life and left my effects to the poor, with affection.)

How old are you? The older, the better for this.

You are very fortunate that they seem to have done this peacefully and rationally.

Also, it seems no one will be left in poverty as is too often the case with divorces.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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12-06-2013, 07:15 PM
RE: My Parents Are Splitting Up
(12-06-2013 06:49 PM)TheLastEnemy Wrote:  They told me today that they "No longer want to be a romantic couple", and that my dad might move to our second house soon.

Looking back I guess I kinda saw it coming, they'd stopped acting like a loving couple years ago,but it happened so slowly and subtly I barely noticed.

It wasn't really surprising, but it was shocking, if that makes any sense, there were no big fights, no passive aggressiveness, it was just kind of quietly agreed on.

I'm a bit upset, though probably not as much as I should be, and I think I'll do fine.

I Couldn't get them to admit it, but I have a sneaking suspicion they were simply waiting until I was old enough to were they thought it wouldn't effect me as badly (should I use affect or effect there?).

Anyway, I'm just posting to get this off my chest, and maybe see how other people in a similar situation handled it.

My parents split up right as I went off to college, so I can't say I had the traumatic experience of divorcing parents when I was a child.

It's still hard to watch though. These are your mother and father and always will be. We all begin a marriage with the best of intentions but it's hard to make them work out and sometimes, in the end, it's all for the best that they go their separate ways.

Try to remain neutral with respect to the split. Refrain from taking sides and be supportive of both parties.

Last, but not least, remember: you did not cause this. It is not your fault they split up. So many children have extreme guilt trips over their parents separating and many times, it has nothing to do with them.

Best wishes,
Carlo

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"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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12-06-2013, 07:31 PM
RE: My Parents Are Splitting Up
I don't have much to offer because I never experienced this. Rather I experienced the opposite. My parents fought non stop and my mother never was good for my father. I must've spent many hours just wishing they'd divorce, which they never did. It sounds like you parents are in a fortunate circumstance on the whole. I can imagine how tough it can be though, don't get me wrong. Just remember that your parents will always have a connection to one another through you. If you ever need to vent, come on back.

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12-06-2013, 07:33 PM
RE: My Parents Are Splitting Up
It sounds a little like you knew something was up before they announced their decision to split.

Not that it makes it easier. Maybe they just need some time apart.

It sounds like they are handling it like reasonable people...as in, lacking the fighting and craziness.

A break in a family is usually difficult. If they were waiting till you were a bit older then it sounds like they both really care about you and love you. While a divorce will have an effect on you, I hope that they continue acting in your best interest. Keep communicating with both of them, ask questions to try to understand how things will be for you.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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12-06-2013, 07:41 PM
RE: My Parents Are Splitting Up
(12-06-2013 07:33 PM)Anjele Wrote:  It sounds like they are handling it like reasonable people...as in, lacking the fighting and craziness.

Yes. When they are in a lawyer's mediation room, fighting like cobra and mongoose over who gets the HDTV or the dining room table is very bad......

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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12-06-2013, 08:17 PM
RE: My Parents Are Splitting Up
(12-06-2013 07:41 PM)Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver Wrote:  
(12-06-2013 07:33 PM)Anjele Wrote:  It sounds like they are handling it like reasonable people...as in, lacking the fighting and craziness.

Yes. When they are in a lawyer's mediation room, fighting like cobra and mongoose over who gets the HDTV or the dining room table is very bad......

Better there than in front of their child if that's what it comes to.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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12-06-2013, 08:44 PM
RE: My Parents Are Splitting Up
Going on some 30+ years, ManlyGirl and GirlyMan have discussed "Why we the exception rather then the rule?" ... We got nuthin'.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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12-06-2013, 08:47 PM
RE: My Parents Are Splitting Up
(12-06-2013 06:49 PM)TheLastEnemy Wrote:  They told me today that they "No longer want to be a romantic couple", and that my dad might move to our second house soon.

Looking back I guess I kinda saw it coming, they'd stopped acting like a loving couple years ago,but it happened so slowly and subtly I barely noticed.

It wasn't really surprising, but it was shocking, if that makes any sense, there were no big fights, no passive aggressiveness, it was just kind of quietly agreed on.

I'm a bit upset, though probably not as much as I should be, and I think I'll do fine.

I Couldn't get them to admit it, but I have a sneaking suspicion they were simply waiting until I was old enough to were they thought it wouldn't effect me as badly (should I use affect or effect there?).

Anyway, I'm just posting to get this off my chest, and maybe see how other people in a similar situation handled it.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Sad

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But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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