My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
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14-03-2013, 11:31 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(14-03-2013 10:02 PM)Peanut Wrote:  I just got off the phone with my beloved sister. We talked for about an hour and a half about life and all that. She is six years older than me but we are so effing close, that we talk about ANYTHING. NO HOLDS. NO HIDING. EVERYTHING.

It is for this reason, that I haven't talked to her much about what I've been going through for the last few weeks. I knew she would try and be all "big sister needs to protect baby sister" on me. Although we are super close, we've grown apart in recent years due to the fact that she has found God again. We used to talk about life and what we believe and don't believe all the time. We were so in sync. And then she got herself into trouble and finally admitted to herself that she was an alcoholic. She goes to AA meetings regularly and reads all the "daily prayer" things all the time.

I'm proud of my sister for cleaning herself up. I REALLY AM. But I still don't care for religion and don't see it in my future. I decided to call her today and hear her take on my current relationship. I told her all about the two things that I see are standing in the way of "making it work" with said boyfriend.
  • He doesn't know if he wants any children and we won't even know for another few years until he feels comfortable in his job...
  • He believes I'm going to Hell.
In talking to her, the last forty minutes of our conversation revolved around her repeatedly saying she's "not trying to convert me, but..." But she was TOTALLY trying to "open my eyes" and see "the bigger picture."
OMG. I didn't realize that she felt this way. The very second I mentioned the topic of my not believing in a hell, God, Heaven or anything religious-and the fact that I'm ABSOLUTELY comfortable in my stance-she began to go all "preachy" on me. A few points that stuck out:
  • "You aren't keeping an 'open mind.'"
  • "You haven't looked at religion from a point of view other than your close-minded opinion of religion." (WHAT?!)
  • "Yeah, you started to think you were atheist while you were a Sophomore, but you didn't know better." (WHAT?!!!?)
  • "You need to tell him you are willing to look into being 'spiritual.' Being spiritual doesn't mean you believe in God."
  • "You are spending too much time on your "atheist website!" You are only hearing points of view from them. Why not spend time on a religious website, too? THEY WON'T TRY TO FILL YOUR MIND WITH IDEAS THAT HAVE NO BASIS..." (What the @#$!?)
Oh! That last one was a doozy! I laughed. I seriously pulled the phone from my ear and stared at it for a good twenty seconds. And when I went back to listen again, she was still spewing nonsense.

She kinda mentioned that I was being "brain-washed..." Dodgy

I can't believe she feels this way. I am completely dumbfounded. I asked her how exactly am I not being "open-minded." She stated that I never 'gave religion a chance' and I shouldn't be so 'against' it. I said I can't believe she is trying to say she isn't "trying to convert" me. I told her outright that she was being kind of ridiculous and hypocritical. Her go-to for life's answers is to turn to religion. No other thing is as powerful as believing in something bigger than herself.

You should have heard her reaction when I said that while I respect her view and appreciate her "advice," but I'd be lying to him if I said I'd be "open-minded" to being "spiritual" because I'm what some might call anti-theist. (I've figured out that's the right word to describe me in recent months. I can't stand the thought of going to church, seeing 'prayer chain' posts on public forums and the very thought of somebody trying to "convert" me makes me cringe and feel almost threatened.)I have absolutely NO DESIRE to spend anymore time in "figuring out if religion is for me," because I've spent the last TEN YEARS of my life doing it. I'm very content in my decision. There was a brief pause on her end of the line and then she forged on accusing me of being "brain washed and close-minded." I told her that she apparently doesn't know me as well as I thought. It seems the thought of her little sister NOT wanting to believe in ANYTHING freaked her out.

This is awesome. Now my sister-although she will steadfastly deny doing it-is going to make me one of her projects. I'm not going to hear the end of it.


Poor you!

At least she's off the booze.

Churches often take advantage of people when they're down and out. It sounds like that happened to your sister.
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14-03-2013, 11:35 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(14-03-2013 11:31 PM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  
(14-03-2013 10:02 PM)Peanut Wrote:  I just got off the phone with my beloved sister. We talked for about an hour and a half about life and all that. She is six years older than me but we are so effing close, that we talk about ANYTHING. NO HOLDS. NO HIDING. EVERYTHING.

It is for this reason, that I haven't talked to her much about what I've been going through for the last few weeks. I knew she would try and be all "big sister needs to protect baby sister" on me. Although we are super close, we've grown apart in recent years due to the fact that she has found God again. We used to talk about life and what we believe and don't believe all the time. We were so in sync. And then she got herself into trouble and finally admitted to herself that she was an alcoholic. She goes to AA meetings regularly and reads all the "daily prayer" things all the time.

I'm proud of my sister for cleaning herself up. I REALLY AM. But I still don't care for religion and don't see it in my future. I decided to call her today and hear her take on my current relationship. I told her all about the two things that I see are standing in the way of "making it work" with said boyfriend.
  • He doesn't know if he wants any children and we won't even know for another few years until he feels comfortable in his job...
  • He believes I'm going to Hell.
In talking to her, the last forty minutes of our conversation revolved around her repeatedly saying she's "not trying to convert me, but..." But she was TOTALLY trying to "open my eyes" and see "the bigger picture."
OMG. I didn't realize that she felt this way. The very second I mentioned the topic of my not believing in a hell, God, Heaven or anything religious-and the fact that I'm ABSOLUTELY comfortable in my stance-she began to go all "preachy" on me. A few points that stuck out:
  • "You aren't keeping an 'open mind.'"
  • "You haven't looked at religion from a point of view other than your close-minded opinion of religion." (WHAT?!)
  • "Yeah, you started to think you were atheist while you were a Sophomore, but you didn't know better." (WHAT?!!!?)
  • "You need to tell him you are willing to look into being 'spiritual.' Being spiritual doesn't mean you believe in God."
  • "You are spending too much time on your "atheist website!" You are only hearing points of view from them. Why not spend time on a religious website, too? THEY WON'T TRY TO FILL YOUR MIND WITH IDEAS THAT HAVE NO BASIS..." (What the @#$!?)
Oh! That last one was a doozy! I laughed. I seriously pulled the phone from my ear and stared at it for a good twenty seconds. And when I went back to listen again, she was still spewing nonsense.

She kinda mentioned that I was being "brain-washed..." Dodgy

I can't believe she feels this way. I am completely dumbfounded. I asked her how exactly am I not being "open-minded." She stated that I never 'gave religion a chance' and I shouldn't be so 'against' it. I said I can't believe she is trying to say she isn't "trying to convert" me. I told her outright that she was being kind of ridiculous and hypocritical. Her go-to for life's answers is to turn to religion. No other thing is as powerful as believing in something bigger than herself.

You should have heard her reaction when I said that while I respect her view and appreciate her "advice," but I'd be lying to him if I said I'd be "open-minded" to being "spiritual" because I'm what some might call anti-theist. (I've figured out that's the right word to describe me in recent months. I can't stand the thought of going to church, seeing 'prayer chain' posts on public forums and the very thought of somebody trying to "convert" me makes me cringe and feel almost threatened.)I have absolutely NO DESIRE to spend anymore time in "figuring out if religion is for me," because I've spent the last TEN YEARS of my life doing it. I'm very content in my decision. There was a brief pause on her end of the line and then she forged on accusing me of being "brain washed and close-minded." I told her that she apparently doesn't know me as well as I thought. It seems the thought of her little sister NOT wanting to believe in ANYTHING freaked her out.

This is awesome. Now my sister-although she will steadfastly deny doing it-is going to make me one of her projects. I'm not going to hear the end of it.


Poor you!

At least she's off the booze.

Churches often take advantage of people when they're down and out. It sounds like that happened to your sister.

Or she took advantage of a church when she was down and out.
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15-03-2013, 12:10 AM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
I'm sorry... your sister just substituted one addiction for another.

Now she's addicted to god. No biggie. Kinda sucks for you, especially if she wants you to drink worship with her.

Let her know your concerns for her mental stability. She's stronger now and she should be able to understand what an addictive personality does. You might want to remind her that you are not the one who has made drastic life changes.

She's going to have to do her thing with the rest of her drunken friends and just leave you out of it.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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15-03-2013, 12:22 AM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(14-03-2013 11:35 PM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  
(14-03-2013 11:31 PM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  Poor you!

At least she's off the booze.

Churches often take advantage of people when they're down and out. It sounds like that happened to your sister.


Or she took advantage of a church when she was down and out.



Maybe...and they loved it. Business is business.
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15-03-2013, 12:33 AM
My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
If you don't mind my asking, how long has your sister been sober, Peanut?
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15-03-2013, 12:38 AM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(15-03-2013 12:33 AM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  If you don't mind my asking, how long has your sister been sober, Peanut?

I think it's about two years now.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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15-03-2013, 12:39 AM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(15-03-2013 12:22 AM)Mark Fulton Wrote:  
(14-03-2013 11:35 PM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  Or she took advantage of a church when she was down and out.



Maybe...and they loved it. Business is business.

I agree. Religion only exists because there is a demand for it.
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15-03-2013, 04:04 AM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(15-03-2013 12:39 AM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  I agree. Religion only exists because there is a demand for it.

er... have you stopped bein' a Poe ?

Shame 'bout your sister Nut. Bit surprising huh ? People can be strange... Mind you I had some good friends when I was going through my slightly-less-rational-than-I-am-now-though-that's-not-saying-much period who were similarly surprised that I'd turned into such a weirdo woo believer. I hated talking to them - they made me feel embarrassed. After I unwooed myself I still try to pretend it didn't happen at all when I'm around them - sure way to shut me up is to say something about when Dog was a Christian...
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15-03-2013, 04:16 AM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(15-03-2013 04:04 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(15-03-2013 12:39 AM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  I agree. Religion only exists because there is a demand for it.

er... have you stopped bein' a Poe ?

Shame 'bout your sister Nut. Bit surprising huh ? People can be strange... Mind you I had some good friends when I was going through my slightly-less-rational-than-I-am-now-though-that's-not-saying-much period who were similarly surprised that I'd turned into such a weirdo woo believer. I hated talking to them - they made me feel embarrassed. After I unwooed myself I still try to pretend it didn't happen at all when I'm around them - sure way to shut me up is to say something about when Dog was a Christian...

Just because I am a theist doesn't mean I can't make accurate judgements about the world around me. Only atheists suffer from that problem.
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15-03-2013, 06:24 AM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(15-03-2013 04:16 AM)Heywood Jahblome Wrote:  
(15-03-2013 04:04 AM)morondog Wrote:  er... have you stopped bein' a Poe ?

Just because I am a theist doesn't mean I can't make accurate judgements about the world around me. Only atheists suffer from that problem.

I didn't think you were posing as a theist this whole time, but I agree that your assessments on this thread have been more rational than usual... until you stereotyped atheists. Do you fail to notice when atheists make "accurate judgements about the world around [them]"? We call that confirmation bias.

C'mon, be fair. We noticed your rational input here. Why can't you do it back?

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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