My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 1 Votes - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
21-03-2013, 01:14 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
I think it's perfectly natural she is searching for validation in numbers. Isn't that part of AA? You obviously love your sister, have patience, if she needs God to get her through this let her have him. Be happy for her, it can be frustrating, I know, but probably not as bad as her drinking herself to death. Listening to her preach to you is better than her not being there, I think. My brother went through the same thing, with some harder drugs. I'm glad he is here and taking care of his family. We have learned to just not go there in conversation. Just my .02. Good luck!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Dirtnapper324's post
21-03-2013, 05:28 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(14-03-2013 10:02 PM)Peanut Wrote:  And then she got herself into trouble and finally admitted to herself that she was an alcoholic. She goes to AA meetings regularly and reads all the "daily prayer" things all the time. ... She stated that I never 'gave religion a chance' and I shouldn't be so 'against' it. I said I can't believe she is trying to say she isn't "trying to convert" me. I told her outright that she was being kind of ridiculous and hypocritical. Her go-to for life's answers is to turn to religion.

This is why this particular drunken GirlyMan will never go to AA.

"STEP 1a. I admit that I am powerless over alcohol...."
I can't even parse that. How can I be powerless over an inanimate object incapable of even being aware of me? Might as well say I am powerless over a rock.

"STEP 1b. I admit that my life has become unmanageable..."
But it hasn't. I can drink a half liter of vodka every night and get up and go to work the next day without a problem. Doesn't impact my management of my life at all. My liver, on the other hand, well it's asking for a little relief. And Girly appreciates that it's earned it.

"Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
Well nothing's gonna restore me to sanity, but does pharmacology count as a Power greater than myself? Naltrexone and Baclofen are both quite effective at limiting my consumption and giving my liver some much deserved and needed relief. But if I admit pharmacology as a Power greater than myself, and I take Naltrexone and Baclofen to do just that, then how am I powerless over alcohol?

Girly just can't see how to even get off the ground with Dr. Bob and the Big Book.

(14-03-2013 10:02 PM)Peanut Wrote:  No other thing is as powerful as believing in something bigger than herself.
Quite the contrary for Girly, no other thing is as powerful as realizing there is nothing bigger than myself. Tongue

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-03-2013, 05:35 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(21-03-2013 05:28 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(14-03-2013 10:02 PM)Peanut Wrote:  And then she got herself into trouble and finally admitted to herself that she was an alcoholic. She goes to AA meetings regularly and reads all the "daily prayer" things all the time. ... She stated that I never 'gave religion a chance' and I shouldn't be so 'against' it. I said I can't believe she is trying to say she isn't "trying to convert" me. I told her outright that she was being kind of ridiculous and hypocritical. Her go-to for life's answers is to turn to religion.

This is why this particular drunken GirlyMan will never go to AA.

"STEP 1a. I admit that I am powerless over alcohol...."
I can't even parse that. How can I be powerless over an inanimate object incapable of even being aware of me? Might as well say I am powerless over a rock.

"STEP 1b. I admit that my life has become unmanageable..."
But it hasn't. I can drink a half liter of vodka every night and get up and go to work the next day without a problem. Doesn't impact my management of my life at all. My liver, on the other hand, well it's asking for a little relief. And Girly appreciates that it's earned it.

"Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
Well nothing's gonna restore me to sanity, but does pharmacology count as a Power greater than myself? Naltrexone and Baclofen are both quite effective at limiting my consumption and giving my liver some much deserved and needed relief. But if I admit pharmacology as a Power greater than myself, and I take Naltrexone and Baclofen to do just that, then how am I powerless over alcohol?

Girly just can't see how to even get off the ground with Dr. Bob and the Big Book.

(14-03-2013 10:02 PM)Peanut Wrote:  No other thing is as powerful as believing in something bigger than herself.
Quite the contrary for Girly, no other thing is as powerful as realizing there is nothing bigger than myself. Tongue

Hey, it's easy. It's a metaphor. Dodgy

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-03-2013, 06:09 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(21-03-2013 05:35 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(21-03-2013 05:28 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  This is why this particular drunken GirlyMan will never go to AA.

"STEP 1a. I admit that I am powerless over alcohol...."
I can't even parse that. How can I be powerless over an inanimate object incapable of even being aware of me? Might as well say I am powerless over a rock.

"STEP 1b. I admit that my life has become unmanageable..."
But it hasn't. I can drink a half liter of vodka every night and get up and go to work the next day without a problem. Doesn't impact my management of my life at all. My liver, on the other hand, well it's asking for a little relief. And Girly appreciates that it's earned it.

"Step 2 Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity."
Well nothing's gonna restore me to sanity, but does pharmacology count as a Power greater than myself? Naltrexone and Baclofen are both quite effective at limiting my consumption and giving my liver some much deserved and needed relief. But if I admit pharmacology as a Power greater than myself, and I take Naltrexone and Baclofen to do just that, then how am I powerless over alcohol?

Girly just can't see how to even get off the ground with Dr. Bob and the Big Book.

Quite the contrary for Girly, no other thing is as powerful as realizing there is nothing bigger than myself. Tongue

Hey, it's easy. It's a metaphor. Dodgy

A metaphor for what? Helplessness, impotence, powerless, subserviance, pussiness, what ...? Huh

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
21-03-2013, 06:11 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(21-03-2013 06:09 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(21-03-2013 05:35 PM)Chas Wrote:  Hey, it's easy. It's a metaphor. Dodgy

A metaphor for what? Helplessness, impotence, powerless, subserviance, pussiness, what ...? Huh

It's a scripture joke. Dodgy

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-03-2013, 08:44 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
I thought I'd mention that I told the boyfriend about my conversation with my sister. He cringed. NOT because I was literally talking about and getting advice about leaving him/should I stay and all that, but because of the fact that I chose HER to talk to about it...

He said he thought she was the LAST person he believed I should have talked to. He claims to have known she "was going to make [me] uncomfortable" and that I "wouldn't get any real answers." Consider

I find this very interesting. He was nodding along (as if he were understanding why I got upset with her) when I said she kept insisting I was being "close-minded." I thought that was cool of him... And then he did it HIMSELF.

I said, "Well, I don't know why she kept saying I should be 'open to being spiritual.' I'm NEVER going to believe."

*Eyebrows raised and he rolled his eyes*

"Well, THAT'S not being open-minded. What if someone found evidence sometime in the future. You're just NOT going to believe? That's being close-minded."

WTF?

"Let me rephrase that; I have no intention to be spiritual because I highly doubt there is a God. I doubt anyone is going to find this 'evidence.' They've had all these friggin' years to PROVE it's true, and NOBODY has done it yet."

"But..."

"NO. You just called me close-minded. I never said I 'won't believe in spite of the fact that somebody had undeniable evidence of a God or afterlife. THAT would make me just as bad as you. EVIDENCE is what I base my non-beliefs on...I don't think of myself as a hypocrite."

HE HAD NOTHING TO SAY TO THAT. We didn't talk the rest of the day, actually.

Yep. I'm surrounded by CLOSE-MINDED HYPOCRITES. When does it stop? Hobo

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
22-03-2013, 08:51 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(22-03-2013 08:44 PM)Peanut Wrote:  Yep. I'm surrounded by CLOSE-MINDED HYPOCRITES. When does it stop? Hobo
When you decide to stop it.

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes bbeljefe's post
22-03-2013, 08:59 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(22-03-2013 08:51 PM)bbeljefe Wrote:  
(22-03-2013 08:44 PM)Peanut Wrote:  Yep. I'm surrounded by CLOSE-MINDED HYPOCRITES. When does it stop? Hobo
When you decide to stop it.
Can't choose my family; I'll have to deal with my sister the rest of my life. (I totally love her, though. She's still cool overall.) Big Grin

I CAN choose my boyfriend, though Drinking Beverage

I'm working on it. Gotta line all the ducks up and all that.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
23-03-2013, 11:25 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(22-03-2013 08:44 PM)Peanut Wrote:  I said, "Well, I don't know why she kept saying I should be 'open to being spiritual.' I'm NEVER going to believe."

*Eyebrows raised and he rolled his eyes*

There are several books on the subject of why couples don't succeed... the scientific-minded have discovered that the point at which a couple will almost certainly fail is when their negative interactions happen more than 18% of the time; that is, a successful couple has to have at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.

One of the ways you can tell that a couple's negative interactions are too numerous is through "expressions of contempt", such as rolled eyes. Couples that give each other the benefit of the doubt, attributing their partner's failures to situational matters rather than personality flaws ("she had a rough day" compared to "she's just like her mother"), do not roll their eyes at each other.

Perhaps you simply realized that your relationship is falling apart and blamed it on your religious differences, or maybe your religious differences really did become the breaking point. Either way, it looks doomed.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
23-03-2013, 11:34 PM
RE: My Sister Thinks I'm "Going Through a Phase!"
(23-03-2013 11:25 PM)Starcrash Wrote:  There are several books on the subject of why couples don't succeed... the scientific-minded have discovered that the point at which a couple will almost certainly fail is when their negative interactions happen more than 18% of the time; that is, a successful couple has to have at least 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.

One of the ways you can tell that a couple's negative interactions are too numerous is through "expressions of contempt", such as rolled eyes. Couples that give each other the benefit of the doubt, attributing their partner's failures to situational matters rather than personality flaws ("she had a rough day" compared to "she's just like her mother"), do not roll their eyes at each other.

Perhaps you simply realized that your relationship is falling apart and blamed it on your religious differences, or maybe your religious differences really did become the breaking point. Either way, it looks doomed.
The Pareto principle.... it works bitches!

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like bbeljefe's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: