My Story
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29-03-2013, 09:25 PM
My Story
I was raised in a loosely religious household. Both my parents grew up within a Catholic background, but were later influenced by Allan Kardec's Spiritism and Candomble. Until my early 20s, I was a strong believer of Spiritism, while highly skeptic of other Christian traditions. Never did I doubt that there was a God and that there once lived a man named Jesus Christ who was sent to Earth by God to start a spiritual revolution. I believed in God, angels, Jesus, demons, and the devil. However, like my progressive thinking parents, I did also recognize evolution, I did not believe non-believers were guaranteed a stay in hell, and I did not follow the bible word by word, what little I did read of it.

My constructed reality based on faith was not seriously challenged until I was shown the Zeitgeist video online. I never thought that there was any doubt on whether Jesus ever actually existed, but just whether or not he was a messenger of God. I also never heard about ancient "pagan" beliefs influencing Christianity. But the biggest lesson I learned that perception shattering night was to not take anything on face value, even things that seem to be agreed upon by everyone I know and trust. I learned that I should take a deeper look into things that influenced me and my world view.

I started to question whether there was a God at all, or even if another religion believed in the right God or Gods. I remember being in a roller coaster ride not long after, and as the ride kept getting scarier I contemplated on my mortality. One thought that went through my head was "what if there is no after life? Maybe there isn't, and If I die now this will be the end of my existence." I never felt more alive. I appreciated the air I was breathing, the thrills of the ride more so than before, I appreciated the life I lived and my friends. I was happy and not scared of death. My fear from the ride disappeared and I enjoyed it for how it physically made me feel. I was suddenly appreciating all the small things, and I had taken my first step into losing my fear of a mysterious world beyond reality, with a God that could send me to hell, or to be reincarnated into a miserable life, of bad spirits that haunted me, or of a previous life that defined me.

However not long after I felt back into my theist world view, but I was done being a Christian. Next up, as I started to get in touch with my African roots, I started to consider Candomble and Vodun. If there could be one God in control of everything in the Universe, why not other "smaller" Gods, or Orishas, helping him out in the smaller details and in the everyday human affairs and small scale natural affairs. I found African beliefs to be a lot less fanatical, in general at least, than Judaism, Christianity and Islam. I even started to look into Ancient Egyptian beliefs since they influenced Judaism so much. And I liked it, a lot. The creator Gods of those beliefs were a lot less destructive and mean spirited than the God I used to believe in. So why couldn't they be real? As an old white grand uncle who was known by others to predict the future once told me, "Africans had it right, and they had it right first!"

But how did I know which Africans had it right? My West African ancestors? East Africans? Egyptians? I recognized the many spiritual commonalities Varying traditional African religions had, but they were not 100% the same. And why couldn't Hindus be right? Or any of many peoples indigenous to the Americas? How was I to know who had it right? Was that possible? How could I make a choice? What if all of them were wrong?

I was finally able to break away from my theist chains once I read an essay in a book about the difference between belief and knowledge. Eureka! I never contemplated on the difference between the two, even though I obviously knew the difference. I just never reflected on what that difference meant in terms of faith and spirituality. I started to question what was the basis for me to even seriously consider the unknowable. Why build and entire world view based on something that there is no verifying until you're dead. How could anyone else? Am I supposed to take any one's word on it based on just whether it sounds good? How were my spiritist parents any more right than my evangelical friends? What if God was a huge invisible space dick?

There was no way to tell. Except that every religion goes back to a specific history, within a cultural context, and from the words and hands of men.
I have been an Atheist for 3-4 years.
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30-03-2013, 05:27 AM
RE: My Story
Nice to meet you.

Want something? Then do something.
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30-03-2013, 10:13 AM
RE: My Story
"What if God was a huge invisible space dick? "


He isn't?

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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31-03-2013, 01:01 PM
RE: My Story
I always feel that if God has all power, let's us think for ourselves, puts fossils of evolution, then he is destined many people to go to hell.What a dick move....SERIOUSLY!!! If I fear he lord and accept him, then I can have magic angels and fairies in heaven forever, but if I say, "HA, NONSENSE! THIS GOD DOES NOT EXIST AND IF HE DID HE IS A GIANT DICK!" What I wonder is why doesn't anything cool happen today? Why don't giant t-rex's beam down with their laser beam eyes and destroy shit?? That would scare the shit outta people.

“You just go where your high-top sneakers sneak, and don't forget to use your head.”
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03-04-2013, 02:26 PM
RE: My Story
Quite an intro.

Welcome.

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06-04-2013, 04:34 PM
RE: My Story
Thanks everyone! It is good to feel welcomed. If there is an invisible space dick out there hunting people like me, is good to know I'm not alone lol

My intro- more about me: My story
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