My anxiety is getting in the way...
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
07-05-2016, 11:40 AM (This post was last modified: 07-05-2016 11:46 AM by Loom.)
My anxiety is getting in the way...
I've called in to work twice now. Yesterday I had two panic attacks at work and had to take an extended break. Later that night we went to a movie (Captain America) for my little brother's b-day. I had two more, but didn't want to ruin the movie for my family, so I sat there, unable to look at the screen sometimes.

I haven't been able to draw for over a week. I spend most of my days/nights in bed.

Right now I'm sitting in my car, in the parking lot of where I work, 30 minutes after the time I was to be at work. I had a fainting spell this morning. I feel cold and numb. My hands are tingling. I feel like I have to breathe more. I can't work like this. I already called work and told them I needed a minute. Hopefully I'll feel up to it in half an hour.

Tomorrow we go to King's Island. I love rollercoasters. We went to Cedar Point a lot and I rode everything as a kid.

I can't ride a damn thing now. So tomorrows going to suck, too.

I was told by my doctor to stop taking the medication they started me on a week ago. Turns out the confusion was a very bad sign.

I'm just tired of this. I can't do any of the things I used to love. My parents are trying to be supportive, but I can tell they don't feel this is as severe as I feel it is. They didn't know I fainted this morning, but they still told me to go to work while I was hyperventilating right in front of them. My dad keeps telling me god has a strange plan for me. What the fck.

I feel like this is more than anxiety. I'm getting so paranoid and hypersensitive to my body. I see the doctor in 3 days, but that's a whole 'nother 3 days to get through.

I'm just plain sick of this. I want my life back. I want to ride rollercoasters. I want to draw.

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

Check out my DA gallery! http://oo-kiri-oo.deviantart.com/gallery/
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-05-2016, 12:08 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
Do you have anyone you can get some valium from?
A low dose of 10 could tide you over until you see a doc.

If you have a health food store in the area, get something called "Passion flower".
Take ONE and wait about an hour. It can help your thoughts from spinning around in circles.
Take no more than a couple a day... it's not candy.

Careful when self-medicating even with herbs... some things can have a magnifying effect.

If you have partaken before, you might get a hold of some indica - a small, single hit might be enough to calm you down. There again - do not overdue until you see a doc and find out what is really going on with you.

Hydrate, eat well, stay in familiar surroundings until you get with your doctor. Heart

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like kim's post
07-05-2016, 12:28 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
*hugs* You'll get this all figured out with your doctor soon enough. While I personally don't suffer from anxiety or depression, I do have a friend who has anxiety/depression and sometimes it just takes a bit of time to find the right fit medication-wise. Sometimes it's a bit of a process, but you'll get there. In addition to meds and seeing a therapist, I think doing something like yoga, meditation, breathing exercises can help quiet the mind in terms of anxiety and depression.




"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like jennybee's post
07-05-2016, 01:25 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
I can relate to this a lot. I hope things get better for you and can get the help you need. Hug Heart
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes CosmicRaven's post
07-05-2016, 01:33 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
(07-05-2016 12:08 PM)kim Wrote:  Do you have anyone you can get some valium from?
A low dose of 10 could tide you over until you see a doc.

If you have a health food store in the area, get something called "Passion flower".
Take ONE and wait about an hour. It can help your thoughts from spinning around in circles.
Take no more than a couple a day... it's not candy.

Careful when self-medicating even with herbs... some things can have a magnifying effect.

If you have partaken before, you might get a hold of some indica - a small, single hit might be enough to calm you down. There again - do not overdue until you see a doc and find out what is really going on with you.

Hydrate, eat well, stay in familiar surroundings until you get with your doctor. Heart

Yes, yes, yes. What Kim said. Passion flower has some anti-anxiety effects. It's often combined with Kava and Valerian in one capsule which are also calming herb so between the three of them you should be ok for a few days. You can usually find it at a drug store over the counter. Short of marijuana those herbs are pretty good for anxiety.

Also, like Jenny posted, look at her video or get online and find a yoga breathing exercise you particularly like.

I used to have panic attacks when I was in high school. I had a total emotional breakdown and had to graduate early from high school because I had so many panic attacks but when I was in high school......ages ago.... no one knew what was wrong with me. They didn't have a word for panic attacks so I just thought I was going crazy. After high school I had to always sit near a doorway so if I began to if I began to panic I could make a run for it.

The only place I felt ok was in a ballet studio. Something about the classical music and movement helped me. That was the place that I repaired myself and came back to life.

Yoga Nidra has helped soldiers with PTSD. All you have to do is lie down and listen. Doing it several times REALLY will help you. There are no poses at all. Here's a nice one. The woman has a super pleasant, relaxing voice.




Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like dancefortwo's post
07-05-2016, 01:51 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
I was able to work for a couple hours, but I'm feeling faint again. I might have to go home Sad

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

Check out my DA gallery! http://oo-kiri-oo.deviantart.com/gallery/
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-05-2016, 02:45 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I hope things get better.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bobyn42's post
07-05-2016, 03:18 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
I ended up going home. When there, my mom expressed her skepticism about my fainting/dizziness. It's infuriating.

Even more infuriating, she told me to try believing again, for hope reasons. I told her why should I? Why not Allah, why not Vishnu? Are they any less real to their believers. Why should I follow Christianity, which to this day burns witches at the stake in Africa (she denied this lol).

What sect of Christianity? Why not Mormonism or Scientology? What bible verses should I cherry pick?

The debate was short but it got my anxiety going so I had to end it.

She has such a horrific understanding of unbelievers (btw she called us seekers...lol) even though she lives with one. She believes we have no hope, no peace. That followers of other religions are the same.

I almost want to text her all the stories of witch burnings in Africa in the past couple years, but I know she'll deny those too, or claim those weren't true Christians™.

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

Check out my DA gallery! http://oo-kiri-oo.deviantart.com/gallery/
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-05-2016, 03:22 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
I've gone through a few extremely anxious days.

These are a few things I find that help:
- Deep, controlled breaths
(Deeper than usual, only slightly slower than usual, but I try to just let them go, and not worry about the exhale... Almost like each exhale has the stress and anxiety letting go bit by bit. Muscles start to relax)
- Find some sunlight and warmth
(I get cold and clamy when I'm anxious, and closing my eyes with the warmth of the sun on my face is one of my most treasured feelings)
- Focus on something simple and good
(I usually like to think about the warmth of the light on my face. Sometimes I imagine I'm removed from the world, and just an observer at a distance. I imagine watching a planet or a moon of any system, anywhere in the universe... No expectations, no noise)

Of course, this is just what I like to do, and it may not have helped when I first had a panic attack and thought I was dying, but it certainly helps me when I'm feeling an anxiety attack coming.

A while ago I had a freak out while at my desk. I started hyperventilating, and my short term memory disappeared... Things I was trying to do all seemed to have been done without me having memory of doing them.. Things turned into a slide show. I told my boss I was going on lunch. I guess with the excess oxygen, I found myself running... Once I was out of breath, I stopped and just lay down where I was... And then I noticed the sunlight on my face.

When I'm not freaking out, I find that exercise helps make me feel happier and accomplished. I also have a vitamin D deficiency, and live in Canada, so I do hit the tan bed for 7-8 mins once or twice a week, and take D3. Both really help with my mood...

Also, sleep! Get your 8 hours as often as you can. I take half (1.5) a melatonin tablet (3mg) before bed, and use Twilight app on my phone after sunset, which tints the screen red, since blue light will disrupt sleep hormones.

I make sure I eat complex carbs like oats in the morning, and avoid coffee or black tea.

Hope some of this is helpful
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like WeAreTheCosmos's post
07-05-2016, 03:52 PM
RE: My anxiety is getting in the way...
Thank you all for the advice. I'd show this to my mom so she'd realise non-believers DO have a heart...if it weren't for the fact that I want to keep my presence here secret from her and my dad.

I do need to eat better in the mornings, and work out more. I feel stuck in this routine. Breaking out will be hard, but I should try.

My biggest fear now is losing my job. Although my managers have been very understanding, I know that my calling off or leaving work on such short notice puts a strain on them.

Ignorance is not to be ignored.

Check out my DA gallery! http://oo-kiri-oo.deviantart.com/gallery/
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: