My attempt at apologetic thinking
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21-05-2012, 03:01 PM
My attempt at apologetic thinking
When I was a kid at summer camp, I heard this limerick which, at that age, we all thought was so amusing. For this exorcise, I'm going to assume the song appears in sacred scripture and that I'm an apologist defending it. I will use the kind of arguments and thinking we've seen elsewhere:

1. One day in the middle of the night
2. Two dead boys got up to fight
3. Back to back, they faced each other
4. Drew their swords and shot each other
5. Two deaf policemen heard this noise
6. Came to kill the two dead boys
7. If you don't believe this lie is true
8. You can ask the blind man, he saw it too.


With verse one, the term "day" could mean a time when the sun is up or a 24 hour period which includes the nighttime. Since the use of the word could mean the latter, we can assume the event took place in the middle of the night. No contradictions so far.

The event in which two zombies could get up and fight is often mocked by atheists but that's because they have a presupposition of naturalism, where accounts of miracles or magic are immediately dismissed only because it conflicts with their assumptions.

The verses tell us the boys went back to back and then faced each other. This is typical style for a duel and there's no reason to think one event couldn't have followed the other. Additionally, since they were demon possessed zombies, they could have spun their heads around and still faced each other though they were back-to-back.

"Drew their swords and shot each other" seems like a contradiction but there's nothing to preclude them from doing both at once. They might have fought two-fisted style, with a sword in one hand and a gun in the other.

There are varying degrees of deafness and a gunshot is loud enough that even those who are hearing impaired could have heard it.

"Kill" could also mean "put down" in the case of these zombies. Though they were dead, they were still animated, and so the use of lethal force to end their threat is what is meant by "kill".

The use of the word "lie" in the original language can also be translated as "story". This verse is just mistranslated.

The blind man is what we call an "embarrassing witness". It proves the story must be true because if it were made up, a better witness would have been created.

There you have it. No contradictions! TA DA!

"An idea is a greater monument than a cathedral and the advance of (humanity's) knowledge over time is a greater miracle than all the sticks turning to snakes and the parting of the waters."
-Henry Drummond, "Inherit the Wind"
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22-05-2012, 05:28 AM
RE: My attempt at apologetic thinking
Anything can be justified, rationalized, or denied. But I think your rationalizations listed above are particularly clever.

My girlfriend is mad at me. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried cooking a stick in her non-stick pan.
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22-05-2012, 03:34 PM
RE: My attempt at apologetic thinking
You may have forgotten to say, "It's all true because it's written down"

The old gods are dead, let's invent some new ones before something really bad happens.
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