My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
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18-01-2013, 07:42 PM
My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
I sense that there may be some skepticism about a possessed bathtub, well it happened like this...

Friday, November 16th, I was getting out of the morning shower as usual and while reaching for the towel I slipped a little bit and overextended and wound up throwing my back out. So there I was thinking that I was just an unfortunate smuck that had to call an ambulance to get up off the floor (after laying there for two hours, don't worry my girlfriend managed to get some shorts on me before they arrived.)

Well, gentle reader, yesterday I was in the same bathtub, once again minding my own business when once again I slipped and went crashing onto the side of the tub, the left side of my ribcage landing squarely against the rim of the tub. Now a reasonable person might conclude that my misfortunes might be attributed to some sort of clumsiness on my part. Allow me to assure you that I am the image of grace itself No . Thus leading to the inevitable logical conclusion that my bathtub is possessed and is actively trying to kill me. Yes I think that perhaps I should start charging admission for people to come and experience the "evil of the killer bathtub" Cool
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18-01-2013, 08:08 PM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
You didnt buy the tub off a romani gypsy did you?

There the worst ones Ohmy

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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18-01-2013, 08:15 PM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
(18-01-2013 08:08 PM)bemore Wrote:  You didnt buy the tub off a romani gypsy did you?

There the worst ones Ohmy
hmmm....nope. But the tub is one of the few features of my apartment that was not replaced in the remodel after Katrina....that must be it, there is a voodoo hex on the tub Yes
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18-01-2013, 08:31 PM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
(18-01-2013 07:42 PM)BioPsychMS Wrote:  I sense that there may be some skepticism about a possessed bathtub, well it happened like this...

Friday, November 16th, I was getting out of the morning shower as usual and while reaching for the towel I slipped a little bit and overextended and wound up throwing my back out. So there I was thinking that I was just an unfortunate smuck that had to call an ambulance to get up off the floor (after laying there for two hours, don't worry my girlfriend managed to get some shorts on me before they arrived.)

Well, gentle reader, yesterday I was in the same bathtub, once again minding my own business when once again I slipped and went crashing onto the side of the tub, the left side of my ribcage landing squarely against the rim of the tub. Now a reasonable person might conclude that my misfortunes might be attributed to some sort of clumsiness on my part. Allow me to assure you that I am the image of grace itself No . Thus leading to the inevitable logical conclusion that my bathtub is possessed and is actively trying to kill me. Yes I think that perhaps I should start charging admission for people to come and experience the "evil of the killer bathtub" Cool
Well, don't bring a hair dryer near it!

"IN THRUST WE TRUST"

"We were conservative Jews and that meant we obeyed God's Commandments until His rules became a royal pain in the ass."

- Joel Chastnoff, The 188th Crybaby Brigade
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18-01-2013, 08:37 PM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
(18-01-2013 08:31 PM)Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver Wrote:  
(18-01-2013 07:42 PM)BioPsychMS Wrote:  I sense that there may be some skepticism about a possessed bathtub, well it happened like this...

Friday, November 16th, I was getting out of the morning shower as usual and while reaching for the towel I slipped a little bit and overextended and wound up throwing my back out. So there I was thinking that I was just an unfortunate smuck that had to call an ambulance to get up off the floor (after laying there for two hours, don't worry my girlfriend managed to get some shorts on me before they arrived.)

Well, gentle reader, yesterday I was in the same bathtub, once again minding my own business when once again I slipped and went crashing onto the side of the tub, the left side of my ribcage landing squarely against the rim of the tub. Now a reasonable person might conclude that my misfortunes might be attributed to some sort of clumsiness on my part. Allow me to assure you that I am the image of grace itself No . Thus leading to the inevitable logical conclusion that my bathtub is possessed and is actively trying to kill me. Yes I think that perhaps I should start charging admission for people to come and experience the "evil of the killer bathtub" Cool
Well, don't bring a hair dryer near it!
Holy shit, didn't even think about that!!! well I don't need a hair dryer really but I suppose I should find a new place for the boombox Sadcryface2
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19-01-2013, 12:23 AM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
Time to move -- or buy a plastic bath mat...the kind with the suction cups so it won't slip.

Of course what if it's your girlfriend? A little pledge on the bottom of the tub, or baby oil...


Wind's in the east, a mist coming in
Like something is brewing and about to begin
Can't put my finger on what lies in store
but I feel what's to happen has happened before...


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19-01-2013, 12:24 AM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
Time for an exorcism!

See here they are, the bruises, some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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19-01-2013, 12:55 AM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
(19-01-2013 12:23 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Of course what if it's your girlfriend? A little pledge on the bottom of the tub, or baby oil...
That bitch, that makes total sense. She was oiling the tub because she was banging the voodoo priest...the very one I was going to call for an exorcism. Yep, that seems reasonable...Once my ribs heal and I can get out of the recliner with any alacrity...I'll show them Evil_monster
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19-01-2013, 01:16 AM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
(19-01-2013 12:55 AM)BioPsychMS Wrote:  
(19-01-2013 12:23 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  Of course what if it's your girlfriend? A little pledge on the bottom of the tub, or baby oil...
That bitch, that makes total sense. She was oiling the tub because she was banging the voodoo priest...the very one I was going to call for an exorcism. Yep, that seems reasonable...Once my ribs heal and I can get out of the recliner with any alacrity...I'll show them Evil_monster

Did she give you shorts with holes in them and claim she couldn't find any others?


Wind's in the east, a mist coming in
Like something is brewing and about to begin
Can't put my finger on what lies in store
but I feel what's to happen has happened before...


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19-01-2013, 01:26 AM
RE: My bathtub is possessed and is trying to kill me
(19-01-2013 01:16 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(19-01-2013 12:55 AM)BioPsychMS Wrote:  That bitch, that makes total sense. She was oiling the tub because she was banging the voodoo priest...the very one I was going to call for an exorcism. Yep, that seems reasonable...Once my ribs heal and I can get out of the recliner with any alacrity...I'll show them Evil_monster

Did she give you shorts with holes in them and claim she couldn't find any others?
That seems about right, if I recall correctly I remember it being a bit...ummm...breezy one might say. Oh! and the emt's were sniggering too...come to think about it I don't remember buying those shorts....
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