My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
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24-07-2016, 10:02 AM
My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
Hi, all.

I have to rant. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but I can't help it right now.

I am turning 22 in a couple of days. I'm really not happy about it. I feel like I blinked and my teenage years were gone. I am dealing with my feelings of animosity toward religion. Most of my teenage years were spend in a constant state of struggle between my identity as a religious person, and my evolving beliefs and knowledge about myself. I spent most of my teenage years wishing I was someone else, and trying to live up to standards that were impossible to live up to. I struggled with the idea that my crazy emotions which dominated my life were demonic, and that I would know peace once I just stopped my sinful behaviors (thanks to the priest who planted that seed in my head).

It's like I woke up, and my teenage years were over. 21 was the last "fun" birthday. I feel like I'm growing up, and I welcome it - graduate school, my career, establishing myself in the world. But I feel like my life was stolen from me for so long. I feel like religion absolutely took my individualism away. When my friends share experiences from their teenage years, I don't have any stories. I was in Church all the time, and trying to join monasteries.

I feel like there was so much I should have experienced, but I didn't. And now it's over, and I'm growing up.

I can't help but feel sorry for myself around my birthday - it was the same last year. I'm all by myself, and I don't really have any close friends right now. I just feel pretty "bleh" about everything, but my birthday leaves me with the sense that I've missed out, that I'm behind everyone in experience and development, and that I'm kind of pathetic.

If I never would have accepted a friend's invitation to go to Church when I was 13, I wonder who I would be right now? I'm certain I'd be better off, and happier.

I just needed to share. I'm really not feeling my birthday, friends. I've turned off facebook notifications and everything for it. I want it to just be a normal day, but I'm a year older. Whenever I think of doing something special on my birthday this year, I can't help but think how much I feel I've missed.
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24-07-2016, 10:18 AM
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
(24-07-2016 10:02 AM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  Hi, all.

I have to rant. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but I can't help it right now.

I am turning 22 in a couple of days. I'm really not happy about it. I feel like I blinked and my teenage years were gone. I am dealing with my feelings of animosity toward religion. Most of my teenage years were spend in a constant state of struggle between my identity as a religious person, and my evolving beliefs and knowledge about myself. I spent most of my teenage years wishing I was someone else, and trying to live up to standards that were impossible to live up to. I struggled with the idea that my crazy emotions which dominated my life were demonic, and that I would know peace once I just stopped my sinful behaviors (thanks to the priest who planted that seed in my head).

It's like I woke up, and my teenage years were over. 21 was the last "fun" birthday. I feel like I'm growing up, and I welcome it - graduate school, my career, establishing myself in the world. But I feel like my life was stolen from me for so long. I feel like religion absolutely took my individualism away. When my friends share experiences from their teenage years, I don't have any stories. I was in Church all the time, and trying to join monasteries.

I feel like there was so much I should have experienced, but I didn't. And now it's over, and I'm growing up.

I can't help but feel sorry for myself around my birthday - it was the same last year. I'm all by myself, and I don't really have any close friends right now. I just feel pretty "bleh" about everything, but my birthday leaves me with the sense that I've missed out, that I'm behind everyone in experience and development, and that I'm kind of pathetic.

If I never would have accepted a friend's invitation to go to Church when I was 13, I wonder who I would be right now? I'm certain I'd be better off, and happier.

I just needed to share. I'm really not feeling my birthday, friends. I've turned off facebook notifications and everything for it. I want it to just be a normal day, but I'm a year older. Whenever I think of doing something special on my birthday this year, I can't help but think how much I feel I've missed.

The teenage years are fraught with issues for most everyone. The topic of your issues may differ, but rest assured that hardly anyone ever gets through the teenage years without major struggles.

22 is beautiful, you are old enough to have a better idea of what you want and young enough to do most anything. You go get'em!

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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24-07-2016, 10:23 AM
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
(24-07-2016 10:18 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(24-07-2016 10:02 AM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  Hi, all.

I have to rant. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but I can't help it right now.

I am turning 22 in a couple of days. I'm really not happy about it. I feel like I blinked and my teenage years were gone. I am dealing with my feelings of animosity toward religion. Most of my teenage years were spend in a constant state of struggle between my identity as a religious person, and my evolving beliefs and knowledge about myself. I spent most of my teenage years wishing I was someone else, and trying to live up to standards that were impossible to live up to. I struggled with the idea that my crazy emotions which dominated my life were demonic, and that I would know peace once I just stopped my sinful behaviors (thanks to the priest who planted that seed in my head).

It's like I woke up, and my teenage years were over. 21 was the last "fun" birthday. I feel like I'm growing up, and I welcome it - graduate school, my career, establishing myself in the world. But I feel like my life was stolen from me for so long. I feel like religion absolutely took my individualism away. When my friends share experiences from their teenage years, I don't have any stories. I was in Church all the time, and trying to join monasteries.

I feel like there was so much I should have experienced, but I didn't. And now it's over, and I'm growing up.

I can't help but feel sorry for myself around my birthday - it was the same last year. I'm all by myself, and I don't really have any close friends right now. I just feel pretty "bleh" about everything, but my birthday leaves me with the sense that I've missed out, that I'm behind everyone in experience and development, and that I'm kind of pathetic.

If I never would have accepted a friend's invitation to go to Church when I was 13, I wonder who I would be right now? I'm certain I'd be better off, and happier.

I just needed to share. I'm really not feeling my birthday, friends. I've turned off facebook notifications and everything for it. I want it to just be a normal day, but I'm a year older. Whenever I think of doing something special on my birthday this year, I can't help but think how much I feel I've missed.

The teenage years are fraught with issues for most everyone. The topic of your issues may differ, but rest assured that hardly anyone ever gets through the teenage years without major struggles.

22 is beautiful, you are old enough to have a better idea of what you want and young enough to do most anything. You go get'em!

Thank you!!! That is really uplifting, and I needed it! Smile
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24-07-2016, 10:39 AM
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
At work.

Ah, the passion of youth. *Shakes head*

I would say you've got some even greater years ahead of you.

Thumbsup
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24-07-2016, 10:54 AM
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
(24-07-2016 10:02 AM)FreeThinker1994 Wrote:  I spent most of my teenage years wishing I was someone else, and trying to live up to standards that were impossible to live up to.

So, in other words, a perfectly normal teenager.

Quote:If I never would have accepted a friend's invitation to go to Church when I was 13, I wonder who I would be right now? I'm certain I'd be better off, and happier.

Regret is a useful emotion so long as you don't let it overwhelm you. Things that are done, are done. Learn from them so you can minimize the chance of repeating them but if you can't undo them then let them go. It's not always easy to do but it is important to try.

Quote:Whenever I think of doing something special on my birthday this year, I can't help but think how much I feel I've missed.

Maybe it'd help to think of it as marking how far you've come and how you get to make a new start with a new attitude. Many people don't free themselves from religious shackles until they are much older than 22.

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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24-07-2016, 10:55 AM
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
I'm 65 and still act like I'm 18. Growing old is voluntary.
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24-07-2016, 11:30 AM
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
You're only 22 and you have your whole free thinking life ahead of you Wink You get to live how you want, love who you want, like what you want, carve the path that you want. Some people who get sucked into religion never get that.

The past is the past--don't dwell on any of it. Just view it as a path to get you to where you are now--which is your being free from all of that religious crap. Don't let religion continue to infiltrate your life by allowing yourself to be angry because of your negative experiences with it. The best F-U to religion (a system set up to try and control people) is to live a happy, free existence. Don't let religion win by continuing to be angry. Let the anger go so you can enjoy your life living however the fuck you want Big Grin

Oh and Happy Birthday! Kick all of the leftover religious entrails to the curb and go out and do something fun!
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24-07-2016, 11:44 AM
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
Birthdays are what you want them to be. For me it's just another day...but one where I will probably have cake and that's a plus.

Other than a couple of years after my cancer battle birthdays have never really mattered much.

It can be what you make of it...it can be just another day or you can make it a 'you' day and do something you want to do just because it's your birthday.

Don't worry so much about missing your teen years. For many of us those aren't the greatest years even when not tied up with religion.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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24-07-2016, 11:49 AM (This post was last modified: 24-07-2016 03:07 PM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
Debauchery. Debauchery is your answer. Make up for those lost years. Rolleyes

Just kidding. Don't waste your 20's regretting the past. Despite what you didn't like, you wouldn't be you without having gone through it. You survived. Would you really change it now ? If you did, you wouldn't be you. Move on, and plan your future. Be happy you learned from the past and are not (as SO many are) still stuck in that bullshit.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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24-07-2016, 12:07 PM
RE: My birthday is coming up, and I'm not happy about it.
RecentlyI turned 70 and I get sick of people telling me that I am not old. "Don't think of yourself as old." So many people say, but I worked hard to get this old, and refuse to deny my age. 11 years ago I had triple bypass surgery and was told I had a 50 50 chance of living another 5 years even if I did change my diet and take pills everyday. So look forward to getting married and raising a child or 2 or 12 and having them grow up and make you a grandparent and then the next generation comes along and you'll join us great grand parents, but I'll be long gone from those ranks before you get here! So have a beer and celebrate that birthday.
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