My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
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05-01-2012, 05:49 AM
Rainbow My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
Hello, everyone! My name is Kirill, I live in Russia. I'm kind of an atheist or agnostic, hard to say. I also happen to be gay, with an American boyfriend who recently found his own faith after having a prophetical revelation.

In Russia most of the people are not believers, it is not like in the US where faith means so much to so many people, so it is not a problem here, no one would ever do me any harm or say anything bad just because I do not believe. Decades of godless communist rule did that to people: we do not see atheism as something horrible and wretched.

However, my boyfriend was born in the South of the US and raised as a Catholic. When it became obvious that he was gay his parents disowned him and pretty much kicked him out of the house. He lost his faith as he realized that it is in his nature to be gay and there is nothing wrong with it. For many years he just saw himself as a spiritual person, but not one that believes in god. Things have changed after his father's death — the father's soul came to him and told him about the wonders of the afterlife, and he began having all these prophetic visions ever since (a couple of months ago).

So, now I have to deal with this somehow. He doesn't demand of me to convert into his faith (which is nothing like any religion there is), but I do feel more disconnected from him since I never did have such a revelation and I cannot say if he really had a spiritual experience that came directly from higher power, or he is just going insane. It frightens me and makes me uncomfortable. I want to be able to share in his deep held beliefs, but I cannot betray my integrity and lie to myself that I believe what he believes.

Does anyone have anything to say about that?
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05-01-2012, 01:10 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
My mom died when I was 19. She and I were extremely close, and her death was devastating and left me feeling lost and deeply depressed. I was a Christian then, and wondered if she was actually communicating with me from beyond the grave. For months...indeed years...after she died, she would come to me in my dreams. We'd have talks. Sometimes she's impart to me important information and advice, other times we'd just talk...like we were having coffee. Sometimes she would tell me things that hadn't happened yet, and then they would...but they were things that I think I had an intuitive feeling about anyway. Easily explainable, in my opinion.

This stopped after about a year or two and I realized that it was just my brain's way of dealing with such a traumatic event. You will find lots of stories that are similar from people who have lost loved ones. It's common and not supernatural.

I imagine that your boyfriend, having grown up Catholic, and experiencing such a horrible seperation from his father, is having "visions" because he has to start processing the death and the fact that he will never have the ability to reconnect with his father in the future. There will be no happy ending and no acceptance from this significant person in your boyfriend's life. That is a lot to process, and it wouldn't surprise me that *that* is where these so called visions are coming from.

Approach him with that in mind. Tell him that you love him and care for him and want him to have a safe place to process being disowned and losing his father. Does he live with you in Russia? He may not be amenable to therapy, but he really needs a safe place to talk this out. You might go with him, or it might be best for him to go alone. It may not diminish his belief in the visions, but it might eleviate the intensity of the belief and help him understand what is going on emotionally. Grief is an incredibly powerful experience and changes you fundamentally, and grief isn't just limited to death. Be patient and loving, and gently urge him to find that safe place to open up.

I hope that helps and good luck to you both.

We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers.

- Carl Sagan
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05-01-2012, 02:26 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
Hi there. You cannot do more than be there for him. If he truly believes that what he sees is prophetic or that he suddenly became a medium or psychic or something, it's going to be extremely difficult to snap him out of it. You forgot to tell us how old you guys are. If he's young, he might grow out of it, but then again he may find himself a gay-friendly religion and stick with his beliefs forever.

Keep in mind that he left his religion because he was disowned and not really because he truly found his way out. Deep inside he might miss his religion, despite the fact that it could damage your relationship. Don't pretend to agree with him, speak your mind. If you hope to maintain a long relationship with this guy, you can't keep pretending forever.

As long as you can accept what he's becoming and he can accept your skepticism, you may have something going on. It won't be easy, but it's manageable.

If you need deeper answers than this, provide more information, like age, how long have you been together, do you live together (and where), how did you react to his "prophecies", what he responded etc.

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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05-01-2012, 02:58 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
zaika, I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it is to lose a parent. Mine are still alive and well, but my boyfriend says they won't live another decade. Of course, he also talks about the Armageddon and all.

Tony's experiences do not happen in dreams, rather when he is fully awake. That is what's so scary. If only those were just dreams! It would have been easy to explain them away.

I do just that: I love him, I'm not turning away, I ask and he tells me all about it, and I'm in no way laughing at him and am not trying to disprove it because, really, just like there is no reliable evidence of God's existence, there is also no reliable evidence of God's nonexistence, and no evidence that Tony's visions are not what he thinks they are (communication with the spiritual dimension that is God and energy of the universe, something like that), but rather hallucinations of the ailed mind.

We both live in our respective countries (me: Russia, him: US). I do provide him with the safe place to talk. We talk about these things at lengths, everybody in his home is sick and tired of it, but I am curious and am not going to brush it aside. He doesn't want to go to a therapist because he's sure they will think he's crazy. Rather, he told me that when and if it becomes a problem and I demand he seeks help he will do that, and I trust him on that.

By the way, he didn't just lose his father, one month after his father's death his 90-year-old great uncle for whom he's been caring for three years also died. That's when the visions started, after the second death.

Thank you for your words of support!
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05-01-2012, 03:14 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
(05-01-2012 02:58 PM)K!r!lleXXI Wrote:  zaika, I am sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it is to lose a parent. Mine are still alive and well, but my boyfriend says they won't live another decade. Of course, he also talks about the Armageddon and all.

Tony's experiences do not happen in dreams, rather when he is fully awake. That is what's so scary. If only those were just dreams! It would have been easy to explain them away.

I do just that: I love him, I'm not turning away, I ask and he tells me all about it, and I'm in no way laughing at him and am not trying to disprove it because, really, just like there is no reliable evidence of God's existence, there is also no reliable evidence of God's nonexistence, and no evidence that Tony's visions are not what he thinks they are (communication with the spiritual dimension that is God and energy of the universe, something like that), but rather hallucinations of the ailed mind.

We both live in our respective countries (me: Russia, him: US). I do provide him with the safe place to talk. We talk about these things at lengths, everybody in his home is sick and tired of it, but I am curious and am not going to brush it aside. He doesn't want to go to a therapist because he's sure they will think he's crazy. Rather, he told me that when and if it becomes a problem and I demand he seeks help he will do that, and I trust him on that.

By the way, he didn't just lose his father, one month after his father's death his 90-year-old great uncle for whom he's been caring for three years also died. That's when the visions started, after the second death.

Thank you for your words of support!

Kirill, it sounds like you two have a very loving and mutually supportive relationship with an incredibly open line of communication. Seriously, you are a wonderful human being for staying by him and providing that safe space, regardless of the differences in belief.

To ease your fears just a little bit, I *have* read about waking visions and hallucinations that come after deep emotional trauma. I don't know how common it is, but I've read that it does occur.

Всего хорошого! Blush

We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers.

- Carl Sagan
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05-01-2012, 03:16 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
Hi, Malleus!

I'm in my late 20s and he's in his early 30s. So, I don't think it is something people outgrow at that age.

I am not trying to snap him out of it, rather understand and see that maybe he is right and maybe there is something out there that is communicating with him. I am keeping an open mind, even though I do not believe in that. Belief is something more powerful than an open-minded assumption, and that is all I give him — benefit of the doubt. He might be right, we will see how it goes. His belief says certain events are going to occur, soon enough, and they will either prove him right or disprove the whole thing. All I have to do is wait, I guess.

As for his Catholicism, yes, he never really rejected the Bible completely, he continued to believe in the message of loving one another and seeking happiness for yourself and others. And now he is acting very happy that he has found this connection with the higher being that is telling him he is going to do things of global importance.

I do not pretend to agree with Tony, absolutely not, and he actually respects me for being true to my integrity and staying skeptical, I see it as a good sign. However, he expects that, if I want it, someday I will be given some answers the same way he got his visions, and I will believe him. After sharing with him my beliefs and values he decided that I do not really need to seek god and that divine connection, for I already live a very righteous life and do not need to pray my sins away. He believes I'm practically saint...

As for more information about us: I already mentioned our ages, we've met about two years ago and physically spent together only three months, the rest of the time is spent on Skype and emails; we do not live together currently, but we are engaged (waiting for marriage equality to become the law of the land in the US); I reacted to the prophecies just fine, with a bit of skepticism, but also with an open mind; he doesn't ask me to believe him and is happy with the things as they are.

Thank you for your attention to my story!
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05-01-2012, 04:07 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
I would recommend he see a psychiatrist directly, and stay away from scripture. One would normally diagnose from known conditions before considering extraneous variable; but here I am. Atheist, and journeyman prophet.

Remain skeptical. I will only relate the pertinent particulars; you can decide what to pass along, if anything. I am insane; I assume correlation , which is why professional help is indicated. He may be at risk of losing the ability to consistently process sequence; which should be assessed and medicated for as needed. Exposure to scripture should be limited as it brings self-referential feedback; it is also encoded with the insanity of prophets, assuming he is one, he is going to want to slow way down and let it develop. He does not want to lock into a self-referential loop.

There's no need to worry about the god in the equation; in fact it would probably help to encourage him to question the parameters of god. This is because, if he is a prophet, he is communicating with the environment with emotional context. Instead of a word at a time in manner like this, he is picking up blocks of fractally compressed information; boxes best left unpacked, that gradually assimilate into the mind. The more open-minded he is now, the better able he will be to sort the information to the proper context later.

For me, it is all science, hypothetical science; and no more than 4% witchcraft. I offer it solely as anecdote; that you came here, and these are prophetic times.

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05-01-2012, 04:52 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
I see. Thank you for sharing your story. You certainly made things more clear and since my last post I have also read your conversation in the introductions thread.

I understand what you're trying to do and I think it's good that you and Tony are both trying to make everything work, including his new situation. I have a few thoughts about your case, but you have multiple problems which need to be solved separately.

One of your problems is that you are living separately. I'm not saying that it's impossible to keep things going as they are, but you will need to address it somehow. I'm afraid that there is a long way until his US state adopts gay marriage and you're simply missing out on too many things in a distance relationship. My wife and I come from different countries and we don't speak each other's native language. We started our relationship on-line, pretty much like you describe yours, but in the end we simply had to decide to emigrate together in a third country where we can both speak English, find jobs and be together. It wouldn't be a bad idea to study gay marriage laws in various countries and to consider moving in a country that already has such a law if that would be at all possible for both of you. (Australia, for example, doesn't call it marriage, but it gives 100% of the married couple rights to "Civil unions" - regardless if they are between gay or heterosexual couples. I'm sure, if you do a little research, you will find something closer to fit your purpose. If I remember correctly, some US states have already adopted same sex marriage.)

Now, getting to the elephant in the living room. It's all cool and fine if you can be open-minded about his newly-found "gift", but you can also go ahead and start worrying. Sure, he could be the first person in the human history with genuine prophetic abilities, but he could also be one of the millions who have post-traumatic hallucinations. I'm not going to comment which one is more likely, but, just to be on the safe side, he does need to see a doctor about that. Soon if possible.

The situation is even more worrisome because he considers driving himself into absolute poverty by donating everything he owns to please the voices in his head. The doctor I talked about in the previous paragraph costs money too, you know. Try to talk him out of it, even if it's his money and he should be able to decide what he does with it. You (both of you) need that money if at least one of you is going to re-locate to get married. Somehow I don't believe that you're filthy rich and you shouldn't be the only one who makes a financial effort so that you can be together.

You also mentioned that since his visions, you feel a distance between you two. You need to find a way to address that with him too.

Finally: does any of his prophecies fulfill earlier than 10 years from now? It sucks to be you if you have to wait until he's in his 40's before you can hope for a fail followed by some sanity if there will be anything left of him by that time.

I'm not lying to you, addressing all issues with him, especially from a distance, might make your relationship stronger but it can also break it beyond repair if it's not strong enough. Either way, it's my opinion that you should know where you're standing and what's coming along the way. I'm sorry that you're in this situation, but if anybody can help him make less destructive decisions, that person is you. You do have that power and responsibility if you want it.

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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05-01-2012, 05:46 PM (This post was last modified: 05-01-2012 06:30 PM by K!r!lleXXI.)
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
(05-01-2012 03:14 PM)zaika Wrote:  Kirill, it sounds like you two have a very loving and mutually supportive relationship with an incredibly open line of communication. Seriously, you are a wonderful human being for staying by him and providing that safe space, regardless of the differences in belief.
That's exactly what I hear from him: that I am a wonderful person who is going to have a special mission of global importance. We both are. However, I simply love him like I never loved anyone in my life, and even though this whole thing is somewhat scary to me, I have no intentions of turning my back on him. Believe me, we've had difficult times (because we knew it will take years before we could be together), we've tried breaking up, he had a rebound relationship that ended with him realizing he loves me so much that he is going to wait for me for as long as it takes.

(05-01-2012 03:14 PM)zaika Wrote:  To ease your fears just a little bit, I *have* read about waking visions and hallucinations that come after deep emotional trauma. I don't know how common it is, but I've read that it does occur.
I thought so. Frankly, it was kind of nice to think that there might be something out there so important and significant that it is going to change our lives so drastically. I am a skeptic, but I also am a person with a very vivid imagination capable of creating wonderful fantasies that I enjoy a lot, so I thought to myself, what if it is true? we cannot always assume that everyone is insane if they do not conform to our current understanding of sanity, because if that was true, we would have so many people in mental hospitals and not at their workplaces and labs where they would otherwise advance science and create our future. It takes a special vision to see further than anyone else can see to be able to invent something that does not exist and predict something that no one could even think of before. This is why I remain open-minded and, I think, I will monitor the situation on the daily basis and will try to catch the moment when (and if) it all goes down in flames.
(05-01-2012 04:07 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  For me, it is all science, hypothetical science; and no more than 4% witchcraft. I offer it solely as anecdote; that you came here, and these are prophetic times.

Tony is not so much interested in scriptures as he is interested in various prophesies, most of which make sense to him and all line up in the same direction and indicate the same coming events. He's obsessively searching the internet looking for anything that will ring a bell for him with regards to his prophesies. Also, he's a medical professional, and the one that has experience working with mental patients on his psyche rotations, so he knows that part of medicine and how to recognize the signs of mental instability. I have been thinking about trying an experiment: just ask him to leave that stuff alone for several days and do something mundane to see if something changes. However, I can foresee his answer that will be very convenient: if one does not seek connection with the spirit world, that connection breaks; you have to want to connect, so it will disappear when you're not seeking it.

He also says it all can be explained scientifically, and he claims he has those answers about the coming events, he can see the shape of things to come in the current events and in history of mankind.
(05-01-2012 04:52 PM)Malleus Wrote:  One of your problems is that you are living separately.
It used to be a problem for us in the beginning of our relationship, it is only natural to desire to be together physically, but those days are over and we are more patient now.
We have been thinking about migrating to Canada which has marriage equality, but he will have to re-qualify for his medical license and there are other issues involved, like that he doesn't want to leave his newfound family of his most wonderful friends who are at that age when they require his assistance.
Some US states indeed offer same-sex marriages, but the problem for bi-national couples like us is that those marriages do not provide federal benefits for married gay couples because of the law that is known as DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act of 1996). That law prohibits federal recognition of same-gender marriages, so I cannot immigrate into the US through marriage to another man specifically because of that law, and that law has already been found unconstitutional in federal court and is currently going through the appeal process. It will take some years for it to become void, but it is going to happen, if not through the repeal of the law by the Congress (such bill that would repeal DOMA was introduced in Congress and is gaining support little by little, already 31 senators pledged to vote for that law, but we need 60 of them to overcome the Republican filibuster).

(05-01-2012 04:52 PM)Malleus Wrote:  Sure, he could be the first person in the human history with genuine prophetic abilities, but he could also be one of the millions who have post-traumatic hallucinations.
I do realize that very clearly, so, I guess, I am waiting for better signs of mental problems to unravel, if that will happen and if that is the case. Only the future can tell. I don't even know what am I doing here asking people about that, I know that I already am doing everything right waiting and supporting Tony in his journey, and, believe me, I will be the first to tell him that he needs medical help as soon as I see it clearly that he really is not himself anymore.

(05-01-2012 04:52 PM)Malleus Wrote:  The situation is even more worrisome because he considers driving himself into absolute poverty by donating everything he owns to please the voices in his head.
For now it is more like a profound faith that no matter what happens with his finances, God will provide for him as He promised in the Bible. I forgot which passage he quoted to me, but it was saying that people of faith shall not be worried about food and water, for God will provide it for those who need it. I marvel at the fact that He does not provide it for those children that starve to death all around the world every day.

(05-01-2012 04:52 PM)Malleus Wrote:  You also mentioned that since his visions, you feel a distance between you two. You need to find a way to address that with him too.
The distance is quite natural: we have different beliefs now and I remain skeptical without lying to him about my thoughts on that. The first thing I told him when I heard about it was that it all sounds like he's got schizophrenia. And I do know people with that disease.

(05-01-2012 04:52 PM)Malleus Wrote:  Finally: does any of his prophecies fulfill earlier than 10 years from now? It sucks to be you if you have to wait until he's in his 40's before you can hope for a fail followed by some sanity if there will be anything left of him by that time.
There are different predictions. The most important ones have to do with events that will occur when he will be a very old man (second half of this century). Other predictions have something to do with current life. For example, he is fearful that his adoptive father is going to die of cancer this year, he "saw" in his visions how his father is being diagnosed with brain tumor. This may occur before mid-January of this year when his father will get the results of his regularly scheduled MRI that was not done in search of a tumor. So, we'll see if that prediction comes true. I sincerely hope it doesn't, his father is a wonderful man and it will be a huge loss for him. I remind everyone reading it: it is his adoptive father, not the biological one that died in October and "returned" in Tony's visions to let him know about the coming events.

(05-01-2012 04:52 PM)Malleus Wrote:  I'm not lying to you, addressing all issues with him, especially from a distance, might make your relationship stronger but it can also break it beyond repair if it's not strong enough. Either way, it's my opinion that you should know where you're standing and what's coming along the way. I'm sorry that you're in this situation, but if anybody can help him make less destructive decisions, that person is you. You do have that power and responsibility if you want it.
At this point it does not really matter for me if we will remain in a relationship or not. We've reached that point in our relationship where we know that we love each other so much that it doesn't matter if we are together or not. I will always love him no matter what. What I do want for him is truth: whether it means he really is in contact with the spiritual world, or that he is going insane. Either way it has to be looked into and all the grave possibilities must be resolved. That is my greatest wish.

Thank you for your time and attention!
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05-01-2012, 07:15 PM (This post was last modified: 05-01-2012 07:23 PM by houseofcantor.)
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
Have some love. Heart

You may want to tell him the psychiatrist is in terms of prevention. Processing simultaneity seems to be a key prophetic element - thing is, if he hasn't reached that point, it may be preventable. Maybe he'll be the first sane prophet. Wink

If it is faith, vision, inspiration, love - it's fine. The danger, from my perspective, is wondering if his focus and drive will lead him to the psychotic break - which seems to be processing simultaneity from here - you don't want to cross over to this side.

For what it's worth, there is no extant future. What he is seeing (and if, of course) is probability waveform centered around patterns of identity; routines and locations. If a "certain destiny" is best avoided, look to changing routine and/or location. Will is not confined to destiny; destiny is merely convergent trend.

And yeah, we're trending toward tribulation...

where where you
when the race was run
in twenty twenty one...


One other thing. Having visions, eyes wide open, may be indicative of simulation. There's a difference between imagination and simulation. I'm sure all this sounds quite odd coming out of an atheist; note that it is a function of love, and love is my agenda. In no wise do I seek to "encourage witchcraft;" I provide witchcraft. That I survived insanity and the psychotic break, returning without god, with science of the fringe. What I have written here, observational data; it may or may not be of use. Wink
(05-01-2012 05:46 PM)K!r!lleXXI Wrote:  Also, he's a medical professional, and the one that has experience working with mental patients on his psyche rotations, so he knows that part of medicine and how to recognize the signs of mental instability.

...and doctors make the worst patients. And if you think you're insane, you're probably not...

Self is oft convicted of malpractice, diagnosing self.

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