My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
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06-01-2012, 05:58 AM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
Hey Kirill. Again, you gave us some more interesting details so here I am answering again.

As Houseofcantor pointed, doctors are terribly unable to self-diagnose, mainly due to severe denial. It kind of worries me that you're willing to enable his delusions at least until they become more severe or until they are proven wrong.

You're describing text-book symptoms here, man. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) fits his delusions quite well. War veterans keep experiencing their fears way after they come back home. They see their families in danger, they hear screaming, shooting and explosions in their mind. Those are reactions of a wounded mind. It doesn't mean that they are schizophrenic, it doesn't mean they're insane and they should be tied up in a padded room. It means that they're hurt and they need treatment, just like people with a broken leg. Telling them that you believe the voices, screams, gunshots and explosions are real doesn't help. You don't go to such a person saying: "I think I know what's going on here. You see, there is a war going on in Africa right now and, until I am proven wrong, I will believe that you supernaturally hear what's going on there. And the fact that you see your family in danger? That's prophetic, man. Buy more guns to protect them."

You know that what they hear is their own memories and imagination malfunctioning and producing hallucinations. They need help with that, not a TV show where they get to tell you what's new in Angola based on what they have been hearing in their head lately.

Tony is reacting to a double trauma. First stage was when his father kicked him out. He probably described that to you in detail, quite a few times (if he didn't, that's another alarm bell). Anyway, I imagine that he was violently and shamefully ripped away from his house, his family, his religion, his friends and pretty much any community that used to provide comfort for him. He tried to defend himself against it in an act of rebellious, but unfounded atheism. That was his coping mechanism, but it was just as unhealthy as this prophetic episode he has. I believe that he never stopped fearing a scary judge figure in the sky waiting to send him to eternal damnation. He just tried to hide from his fears by pretending that he doesn't believe in such a god.

The second trauma was when his father died. You didn't tell me if they made some kind of death bed peace, but it doesn't matter much. Either way, we see the results. He made peace with his father who gives him all kinds of information from the other world, he sees the end of this world, he sees his family in danger. That is, again, so obvious - his other father dying of something unforgiving. Which could be even more fucked up (trauma number 3) if he, as a doctor, unconsciously saw some symptoms leading him to believe that the MRI will not come back as clean as they all hope. That would also be a prophecy confirmed and that would aggravate things in a quite unpredictable manner.

And, since all his trauma is strictly related to religion, he developed a Messiah complex too. The good news is that he sees you both in the Messiah role, which means that, at least for the time being, he has not locked you out and you still have access to help him. Please do so before it's too late.

The verse he is talking about is this one, right?
"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" (Matthew 6:25-26)

I used to like this one. It worked like clockwork too... 50% of the time, just like random chance. But 50% is a good number when you have a confirmation bias. When god didn't take care of you, it was your fault. Or he tests your faith. Or he has a plan where you not getting what you need now will make things so much better in the grand scheme.

As you said, it takes some balls to be able to claim that you could or ever would pray harder and with a more pure heart than those starving African kids. Still, god finds it more urgent to help you get that nifty job you want. Those kids can wait. Besides, tomorrow they will find some scraps in a dumpster so they're all set. They can take it one more night. Let's go back to YOU and what YOU want... Try to get him to keep his money please.

Tony is not crazy. He is very unbalanced though, and the more you wait the worse it will get. Don't hold your breath waiting for him to re-consider his prophecies when they start failing. He will always have an excuse. Help him now.

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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06-01-2012, 12:05 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
(06-01-2012 05:58 AM)Malleus Wrote:  Hey Kirill. Again, you gave us some more interesting details so here I am answering again.

As Houseofcantor pointed, doctors are terribly unable to self-diagnose, mainly due to severe denial. It kind of worries me that you're willing to enable his delusions at least until they become more severe or until they are proven wrong.

You're describing text-book symptoms here, man. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) fits his delusions quite well. War veterans keep experiencing their fears way after they come back home. They see their families in danger, they hear screaming, shooting and explosions in their mind. Those are reactions of a wounded mind. It doesn't mean that they are schizophrenic, it doesn't mean they're insane and they should be tied up in a padded room. It means that they're hurt and they need treatment, just like people with a broken leg. Telling them that you believe the voices, screams, gunshots and explosions are real doesn't help. You don't go to such a person saying: "I think I know what's going on here. You see, there is a war going on in Africa right now and, until I am proven wrong, I will believe that you supernaturally hear what's going on there. And the fact that you see your family in danger? That's prophetic, man. Buy more guns to protect them."

You know that what they hear is their own memories and imagination malfunctioning and producing hallucinations. They need help with that, not a TV show where they get to tell you what's new in Angola based on what they have been hearing in their head lately.

Tony is reacting to a double trauma. First stage was when his father kicked him out. He probably described that to you in detail, quite a few times (if he didn't, that's another alarm bell). Anyway, I imagine that he was violently and shamefully ripped away from his house, his family, his religion, his friends and pretty much any community that used to provide comfort for him. He tried to defend himself against it in an act of rebellious, but unfounded atheism. That was his coping mechanism, but it was just as unhealthy as this prophetic episode he has. I believe that he never stopped fearing a scary judge figure in the sky waiting to send him to eternal damnation. He just tried to hide from his fears by pretending that he doesn't believe in such a god.

The second trauma was when his father died. You didn't tell me if they made some kind of death bed peace, but it doesn't matter much. Either way, we see the results. He made peace with his father who gives him all kinds of information from the other world, he sees the end of this world, he sees his family in danger. That is, again, so obvious - his other father dying of something unforgiving. Which could be even more fucked up (trauma number 3) if he, as a doctor, unconsciously saw some symptoms leading him to believe that the MRI will not come back as clean as they all hope. That would also be a prophecy confirmed and that would aggravate things in a quite unpredictable manner.

And, since all his trauma is strictly related to religion, he developed a Messiah complex too. The good news is that he sees you both in the Messiah role, which means that, at least for the time being, he has not locked you out and you still have access to help him. Please do so before it's too late.

The verse he is talking about is this one, right?
"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?" (Matthew 6:25-26)

I used to like this one. It worked like clockwork too... 50% of the time, just like random chance. But 50% is a good number when you have a confirmation bias. When god didn't take care of you, it was your fault. Or he tests your faith. Or he has a plan where you not getting what you need now will make things so much better in the grand scheme.

As you said, it takes some balls to be able to claim that you could or ever would pray harder and with a more pure heart than those starving African kids. Still, god finds it more urgent to help you get that nifty job you want. Those kids can wait. Besides, tomorrow they will find some scraps in a dumpster so they're all set. They can take it one more night. Let's go back to YOU and what YOU want... Try to get him to keep his money please.

Tony is not crazy. He is very unbalanced though, and the more you wait the worse it will get. Don't hold your breath waiting for him to re-consider his prophecies when they start failing. He will always have an excuse. Help him now.

This. A thousand times this. Getting more information about the situation, I can't agree enough.

We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers.

- Carl Sagan
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06-01-2012, 04:37 PM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
(05-01-2012 05:49 AM)K!r!lleXXI Wrote:  However, my boyfriend was born in the South of the US and raised as a Catholic. When it became obvious that he was gay his parents disowned him and pretty much kicked him out of the house. He lost his faith as he realized that it is in his nature to be gay and there is nothing wrong with it. For many years he just saw himself as a spiritual person, but not one that believes in god. Things have changed after his father's death — the father's soul came to him and told him about the wonders of the afterlife, and he began having all these prophetic visions ever since (a couple of months ago).

Does anyone have anything to say about that?

The mind is a tricky wicket. Just this morning or afternoon to some people, I had a very short vision, a dream of sorts of what some might describe as "heaven" - In this vision, I saw an extremely bright light at the center of a large architectural village. Each building was a work of art so magnificent in beauty, but the large village was devoid of any people or life.

If your boyfriend had this experience, he might feel as if god was speaking to him and I'm sure he could rationalize any number of meanings to this vision. I was the one who had the vision and I truly didn't give it any additional consideration other than that it was an amazing masterpiece of architectural design that my mind seemingly created in a matter of 10 seconds.

But as I said before, the mind is tricky. It's complex on levels that we have a hard time dealing with. Hell, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around curved 3D space.

Your boyfriend may spend some time in this religious mode due to the fact that his father recently died. It might be that his mind is grasping at anything he can find to hold on to one last thread of his life with his father.

Give him time

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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07-01-2012, 07:26 AM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
Well, I've tried talking to Tony about this thing after he told me about some more prophetic experiences and that now he can only wear white clothes because other color hurt him... This white clothes thing really freaked me out, it was the moment I realized that he really is acting crazy. I wonder how much time it will take before he starts wearing a tinfoil hat. So, I told him that I can no longer stay silent and that I urge him to talk to some professionals and try treatments: if he really is experiencing divine communication, no drug will change that, but if those visions disappear, we'll know it is a mental problem and thus is not real. His reply was that he is not going to do that because he is not showing any signs of insanity, like changing his routine and hurting himself or others. I begged him to reconsider, but it was futile.

Malleus

FYI, I never told Tony I believed in his delusions, I specifically made a point that I do not believe in it, but I have an open mind to assume that it might be true. I wasn't going to say he is definitely insane, nor do I want to claim that now.

Tony didn't make a death bed peace with his father. His father tried to get in touch with him via email and he even blessed his desire to get married to a man, but specifically wanted him to do that in a church that allows that. Tony rejected him and didn't want to do anything with that man, even though Tony had a very good idea that his father is going to die soon, he told me about it several months before his father's death, but I'm guessing he knew the family history and that his father had some heart disease that would kill him pretty soon after being diagnosed. So it's not like Tony predicted his father's death. But maybe he thinks that way now, hard to say.

Correct on Matthew 6:25-26.
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07-01-2012, 08:02 AM
RE: My boyfriend had prophetic visions and turned to God. What do I do?
That is indeed pretty bad. I don't think I should do more than I already did. I had to make sure that you understand that he's damaged and he needs help and now you also know that he actively refuses to receive help. With every detail you add, it gets more clear that his condition is progressing.

From this point on, you can run away, you can stay there and keep pushing him to seek help, you can wait and hope for the best, or you can put up with the man he is becoming or you can play by the ear a combination or succession of various approaches. That one needs to be your decision. I don't have the right or the wish to try to make it for you.

I wish you all the best and if you think we still can help somehow, please ask.

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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