My bro has had a stroke :(
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16-12-2016, 04:52 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
(16-12-2016 03:58 PM)bemore Wrote:  
(16-12-2016 03:36 PM)morondog Wrote:  Undecided Sorry to hear this Bemore. ... There's still some hope right? That he'll recover? Let's hang onto that hope and see what happens.

This is where I differ from most people.

I am hanging onto hope, im upbeat and positive when im with him. I point out all the little gains and improvements he is making and I try to make him laugh.

My attitude and concerns and the way I talk about the situation seems to anger some of my friends. They seem to think that I should have more hope, but I am a realist. Hope will not cure him and I don't want to blindly think he will make some miraculous recovery because if he doesn't, ill have further to fall.

Nobody can tell you how you are supposed to feel about the whole thing. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love go through this. Myself, I was alternating between hope, despair and anger. We each need to deal with such heavy onslaughts of suppressed emotion (and you are suppressing it most of the time, while with him and others) in our own way. You are conflicted enough without letting others add to it. Just follow your own instincts. Heart

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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16-12-2016, 10:24 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
To add to Dom's thoughts if I may, feel free to continue letting it all out here. Nobody is to judge you or how you feel here. We will listen.
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17-12-2016, 11:56 AM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
Hey there bemore, still thinking of you and your brother.

Hang in there mate, and trust that fate will do the right thing.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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17-12-2016, 12:39 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
(16-12-2016 04:04 PM)bemore Wrote:  
(16-12-2016 03:50 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  I'm not sure if this makes you feel any better but my mother did the same thing. She pulled out everything that she was connected to. She was terrified but she couldn't talk because she was hooked up to a breathing aparatus. . She has been put into an induced coma for a five or six days and then brought out of it while sitting in that "special chair". Is it the chair that sort of props him upwards so he's not reclined in a bed all the time? They do that so the person doesn't develope pneumonia.

Well, into the second week my mom developed pneumonia anyway. (She'd been a smoker) Every few hours some guy would come in and stick a plastic tube down her throat into her lungs and suction gunk out of it. It was horrible to watch. My poor mother, she would see the guy coming and try to get away but they had tied her down to the hospital bed and she couldn't get away from him. I'd never seen my mother look so scared before.

One nurse told me that it was a good sign that she kept pulling out the hookups. It meant she was feisty and still had some fight in her. So that's a good sign for your brother.

Bemore, it's a living nightmare. A true living nightmare. I witnessed stuff I still can't forget. I wish I could give you a big hug.

You're under severe stress. Stress can cause heart palpitations. Heck, I'd be surprised if you didn't have heart palpitations. If you can find some place to be physically and mentally that can give you some relief it will help.

I think my mother's stroke was the time I realized that no god existed but I had some friends that gave me lots of hugs and whose shoulder I cried on.....literally! It saved me from total despair.

Please try to take care of yourself.

HugHugHugHugHug

It is a nightmare, it's fucking horrible and so unfair.

Yep, the chair keeps him propped up and supports his head as his neck is still very weak. He sounds very congested but when they use suction very little comes out.

My palpitations started way before this. I think the stress has made it worse but im actively doing everything I can to look after myself.

Thank you for the hugs.

I was having some heart palpitations and was eventually tested for B 12 deficiency and tested very low. I don't metabolize B 12 very well. I have to take a certain type of B 12.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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17-12-2016, 03:11 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
Heart It's good you are staying on top of your own health issues! Try to get plenty of sleep and eat well. You'll need to be well to help Richard improve.

He'll have to go through a lot of therapy to become more independent. It will take a lot of time and for him, the simplest things will be extraordinarily difficult.

With what little we know about the brain, we do know it can be trained to fire differently. It will need to bypass areas of damage in order to relearn basic things, such as movement and speech. Richard has a tough time ahead. He's going to need all the help he can get and he'll need lots of time to heal.

Richard's lucky to have you for a brother, Chris. I have a notion you both think quite a bit alike. Shy

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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17-12-2016, 03:43 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
(17-12-2016 03:11 PM)kim Wrote:  Heart It's good you are staying on top of your own health issues! Try to get plenty of sleep and eat well. You'll need to be well to help Richard improve.

He'll have to go through a lot of therapy to become more independent. It will take a lot of time and for him, the simplest things will be extraordinarily difficult.

With what little we know about the brain, we do know it can be trained to fire differently. It will need to bypass areas of damage in order to relearn basic things, such as movement and speech. Richard has a tough time ahead. He's going to need all the help he can get and he'll need lots of time to heal.

Richard's lucky to have you for a brother, Chris. I have a notion you both think quite a bit alike. Shy

This ^^^
What Kim said is so true. The brain tries to repair itself just as bones or muscles do. It's just that the brain is very complicated. Sometimes the brain learns to reroute information in an entirely different way to function. The brain is still pliable even in an older person. For inspiration please look at Congresswoman, Gabby Gifford who was shot in the head. She has made a remarkable recovery even with a bullet in the brain. I think her right side was affected and she walks with a limp and can't use her hand much. It took her three years to come back and it's still an ongoing process.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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26-12-2016, 03:15 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
Update time on my bro. I also need to vent off a little.

I developed quite a bad cold and was advised by the Dr's to stay away until I had recovered so there was a period of about 5 days where I couldn't visit.

Since my last post, Rich, has made a lot of progress. He has gained a lot more mobility on his left side. He is laughing and joking but is occasionally getting confused and his short term memory is still really bad, although that is slowly showing small signs of improvement.

He got moved from Nottingham hospital, which is around 30 miles away, to our hospital in Derby, which is only about 2 miles away. This is a great relief as it is a lot easier and cheaper to visit him.

My bro's sense of humour is amazing and he gets to make light and joke about his difficulties. He amazes me so much.

What really pisses me off and makes me super angry is his wife, Lisa. I have never really liked her. I gave her chance after chance to begin with when she and my bro got together, but she suffers from her own problems. She is possessive of my bro, jealous and extremely insecure. She is what I would call, a victim. It was down to her and her mannerisms that caused me and Rich to drift apart when he was well. He knows that I do not like her and how she is.

When Rich had his stroke, all of these issues were forgotten about of course. Now however, they are beginning to resurface.

She has been getting very upset that Rich can't remember a lot of things from their life together. She takes it personally that some of his memories are mixed up between her and one of his ex partners who he was with for twenty years. My bro didn't remember that our parents had both died in 1995 and 1996 and he cried when I told him.

I've tried talking to her about it, that she shouldn't take it personally and be glad that he is still alive, she lies and tells me it does not bother her when even a blindman could see by her face that it does.

Today I had been with Rich for about two hours. We had been having a laugh together and I had been writing in his visitor book (our sister had brought the book and we write down everything that happens throughout the days to remind him when we're not there) when Lisa arrived. She looked very upset and when I asked what was up, she said that they think Richard has dementia and that he will need special treatment at another hospital in Derby. She said this in front of him.

I asked if that was their official medical diagnosis and she said no. So I said until it gets officially diagnosed then its best not to worry. She said that she has done a lot of reading up on it, and I said I had also done much reading and whilst he has cognition problems that can be deemed as vascular dementia, she must have read how early it still is in his recovery and that people recover and rewire their brains (like people have quite rightly mentioned already in this thread).

She is acting like a victim but all her concerns she has told me about are petty and superficial. Whilst I appreciate that this has affected everyone in different ways, she needs to stay strong in front of Richard and be careful what she says in front of him. The way she was acting got me angry and I really wanted to say that if she didn't want to deal with this, if she can't accept the fact that for a while they won't be able to go on holiday 4 times a year or maintain her bollocks, posh appearance, then she needs to fuck off and I will dedicate my life to caring for him full time by quitting my job and becoming his carer.

I would of said it a decade ago, but being older and wiser, i just smiled and organised a walk for me, her and my sister.

Im going to tell her what I think on the walk. That she needs to go to her doctor to talk about all of this and that I think she is acting the victim, like she usually does, when it's my brother that is suffering.

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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26-12-2016, 03:29 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
Okay.

Mate, I've seen many people, too many, hit with another's illness. Many do not know how to handle it. I watched as a wife dumped her husband on a ward, said to the head nurse "You can have him. I can no longer deal with this!"

She then turned on her heel and left her ill husband, in a dressing gown, on an unprepared hospital ward, and strode out.

There's no course at school on how to handle this sort of thing. From either the standpoint of victim or onlooker.

Mate, if this woman is taking it personally, that's her way. All you can do is your best. Your brother's illness kind of outweighs this silliness.

Ignore it. You cannot change it.

I am pleased to see there's improvement. Smile

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
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26-12-2016, 03:40 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
bemore,
I can understand your frustration. I have witnessed it in my own life. Some people simply cannot deal with the illness of another. If she starts upsetting your brother in a way that you think may be detrimental to him then you should talk to his medical caregivers. There may be someone on staff that can speak with your sister-in-law...they have probably seen her kind of behavior before - and don't forget that you are biased.

Keep your temper and focus on your brother.

More hugs your way.

Glad your brother is making progress. Thumbsup

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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26-12-2016, 05:47 PM
RE: My bro has had a stroke :(
Thats horrible to hear banjo. Your right though, there is no way one can prepare for this.

Your also right anjele. I am biased. Im just scared that she wont be able to handle it. Now ive calmed down, for my bros sake I am going to give both of them all the help I can. Ive already told her I will go part time at work to help care for him when he eventually gets discharged from treatment.

I'll do whatever it takes, whatever is needed. Im just afraid that she wont, or be able to.

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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