My brother being bribed to go to Church.
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19-04-2015, 08:02 AM
RE: My brother being bribed to go to Church.
(19-04-2015 03:49 AM)GirlyMan Wrote:  What a coincidence, I was just about to start a GoFundMe project called "Who will buy my immortal soul?"

"I'm an old, fat atheist staring into the abyss and got thinking 'Well it sure would be a waste to lose a perfectly good immortal soul by taking it into the abyss with me. Maybe someone will buy it.' Besides it's been getting in my way lately whenever I try to wipe my ass or put on my socks and shoes. I've studied a lot of religions but there are just too damn many to choose from. So I've decided to auction off my immortal soul to the highest bidder. Please indicate which religion and sect you represent when making your contribution so I will know where to deliver my immortal soul. Shipping is free for most major religions. (Scientology is extra 'cause Venus is outside of normal shipping routes.) I swear to God I won't spend any of the proceeds on hookers and blow. (Unless the Satanists win in which case I promise to spend all of the proceeds on hookers and blow.) I thank you for your consideration and contribution. Please hurry. Time is of the essence."

Do it, do it, do it!

I might clean up the part of it getting in the way of ass wiping but other than that I think you could take in some money.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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19-04-2015, 10:33 AM
RE: My brother being bribed to go to Church.
(18-04-2015 08:09 PM)Vinh5263 Wrote:  I do not want my family to be ashamed of me.

There is already a source of shame just because you don't believe. My mother blames herself for me not believing and I know it is a sore spot for her. I bet my wife would also feel it if our kids don't drink the cool aid although I don't think she would ever admit it. I am pretty sure it is a source of embarrassment for her on some level since she is the only one she knows with an atheist spouse. Again, I doubt she would ever admit that to me.

"If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality.
The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination."
- Paul Dirac
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19-04-2015, 03:34 PM
RE: My brother being bribed to go to Church.
Don't assume your brother is that dumb. He's got a good thing going and he knows it.
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22-04-2015, 10:11 AM
RE: My brother being bribed to go to Church.
I don't understand the advice of accepting bribes to go to church. This is dangerous on many levels imo.

First you're willing to admit to yourself that if money is offered your mind/heart/soul is negotiable. I say you stand for what is right. That by not accepting ANY amount of money in exchange for a front row seat to a well trained charismatic preacher is making a statement vs taking the money and proving you can withstand the nonsense. Secondly I like that message your sending to yourself better than "Hey it's not working and I'm making money! Haha!" Thirdly being a leader for the other brainwashed members of the family who are doing the bribing and/or witnessing the bribing get's you closer to the end goal which is to defeat religion and the barriers that go up between family members who believe in the nonsensical.
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27-04-2015, 05:56 PM
RE: My brother being bribed to go to Church.
My allowance was pittance. I'd have gladly taken bribes to attend church and so would many others. In church one gets to basically do nothing but contemplate one's navel, and get paid to do that.
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