My crazy engagement....My crazy in-laws
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29-06-2014, 07:28 AM
My crazy engagement....My crazy in-laws
I recently got married to my wife on the 2nd of June and although now we finally have some peace and quiet from her parents it was a hell of a ride. I guess I'll give you the background seeing as it ties in to the overall story. Sorry ahead of time for the length.

I met my wife about 2 years ago online about 3 months before I deployed to Afghanistan. We instantly hit it off and a lot of my off time before the deployment I was visiting her at her college. We dated through the entire deployment with one slight hiccup on my part due to the stress of being in a combat zone. When I returned I, like most, had a big problem with anxiety and being in crowds and such. My then girlfriend was very,very supportive and always pushed me to seek help which was one of the reasons I knew I was going to marry her. Around November of last year I went and actually purchased a ring looking to purpose to her on thanksgiving. However, I started to have some doubts. Not about her though but about myself and my stability. I was afraid that I would someday turn into some monster due to my anxiety and the type of stuff I observed while deployed. So I ended up breaking it off letting her know why and that I need to get myself together. Of course, as supportive and kind as she always was she understood but it still didn't stop her from feeling hurt. So for about 4-5 months we didn't speak until she decided to "check up on my dog". During the time that had past I'd started seeing a therapist and actually got admitted one weekend. So we sort of picked up where we left off and that brings us to now.

So during this time like any women who's been hurt by a man she went and spilled it all to her folks. Now her folks are fundies(fundamentalist Christians) and up until the break-up they thought I was christian due to where I'm from. So during this tell all to her folks she told them that I was an atheist. So this coupled with my deployment led them to believe that I was the devil and that I would've end up hurting her physically(seriously?). So due to this when we actually got back together after that time we kept it hush.

Ok now on to the exciting part. So for 2 months we kept it hush and saw each other when possible due to her still living with her parents after graduating college. Then one night I did what I should have done the first time and asked her to be my wife. Keep in mind her parents still didn't even know we were even seeing each other. So that night she decided that she's not going back there due to what they'd say and/or do. We called up her mom and she told her on the phone on mother's day weekend "I'm engaged to MrKrispy601 and I'm not coming home":gasp: We ending up having to go over to her parents anyway to "talk" but they ended up accepting it anyway and not even going into my atheism.

So a days later they decide to have a family gathering with extended family and begged us to come. I already knew what it was about seeing as they didn't agree with us not wanting a wedding or reception at all. We were planning on doing it on July 2nd at the courthouse nice and simple. The whole party was me getting questioned about my professional background and such. After the party however me and my wife and her parents were outside talking. Her dad starts to give me this look as they continue to push us into doing a ceremony(for like the 8th time at this point). All of a sudden he goes into a rampage about how I'm not respecting him and he's hinted at it but I was disrespectful for not asking him permission. he then proceed to basically chest puff and threatening me. At this point I was literally moments from wanting to swing but I calmed downed and talked him down. In a nutshell I told him no I won't ask because the only person who has a say in whether she wants to marry me is her and that was the last time he would threaten me.

After that it somewhat cooled down until two weeks later when they requested she come over alone. So of course I already knew, they were going to try and guilt trip her into a wedding ceremony. So my wife gets back from her parents and she looks really upset so my assumption was right. She proceeds to tell me about how her dad starts basically yelling at her " You need to put your foot down and tell your husband you are having a church wedding because that's how things are done in this family". At this point I start to laugh which my wife doesn't understand. We orgionally were going to let them come to the courthouse with us to witness it. After this we both mutually decided to say fuck them. We got married the next day at the courthouse by ourselves, went out for a great lunch, and did some newlywed shopping at bed, bath, and beyond. All in all it was exactly what we wanted, a peaceful fun day. Tongue

It's been almost a month and now that we're married they've backed off knowing that they really have no control over either of us. I think they finally realized that I'm not their other son-in-law who ended up bending over for them and letting them name his first born what they wanted. They're right too. I bow, bend, or fold for NO person or being.
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30-06-2014, 06:58 AM
RE: My crazy engagement....My crazy in-laws
Hi,

I am glad to know I am not the only one who's in-laws are a bit batty!

We, had a split wedding! First it was a civil ceremony. In the UK we have it slightly different to the USA. However it is non religious! That pacified my mum, (JW). Who was not going to go our wedding if it was going to be held in my wife's chapel. My wife was a Welsh Baptist! And her mother and her mothers mother are heavily involved in that!

However, we took the path that we wanted! All I wanted was to be with my wife! (And I could not give a crap how they wanted to decorate it and if they where wanting to pay more fool them.)
For me having the civil wedding was what we both wanted but my wife also liked the idea of the dress and all the bits that go with it!!

My soon to be in-laws went and booked there old friend the pastier and the chapel. I was given it as a fait accompli! That was the wrong thing to do to me!!
I told them we would be marred at 14:00 Hrs on Friday but you can bless it at the chapel if you need to!
This was not the first wedding my in-laws had had (The youngest girl went first!) When father in-law was not getting his own way, he did the self implosion thing and took an overdose! (This was heavy on my wife's mind. I told her if we aqueous with him over this then he will play this card every time he wants his will over us!)

We arranged all of the wedding with out either side having a say. We gave each one something for them that still fitted in to what we wanted!

This worked out well for both sides.

24 years later, they are still think my atheism is a phase! (I am just asking the wrong questions and I should be like a child and just have faith!) And they do worry about there baby girl who is with such a person. I just might taint her from god!

And yes even now we have falling out and it's my fault! Well that is what they say!!
However, I have a life partner who is happy to be out from under her fathers will and even now finds it hard to understand how I can give her such freedom of movement and freedom of mind! ( She finds debating a hard thing to do as she feel it is just too painful.)

However, I thank you for letting us see how your special day went. And I hope you have a wonderful time together!

K:

She is a working project!

Arguing with a zealot is only slightly easier than tunneling through a mountain with your forehead!
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